Day 1- Are we there yet?

Get admitted to labor and delivery...
Lay there while they monitor my baby's healthy heartbeat.
Get an iv... I need one in the whole time I'm here (just in case).
Lay in bed while Todd naps.
Get a steroid shot in my bootey.
Lay in bed or sit on the chair for hours waiting for the doctor to send me to my new home.

Have a cute resident tell me that my condition is very serious. I am his most serious case. I could bleed out in 5-10 minutes because placentas bleed one qt. a minute.
Wonder what I'm supposed to do when doctors continue to tell me how serious my condition is? Should I cry? Should I just drop to my knees and pray?
I KNOW this is serious- that is why I'm here!! Just in case you were wondering!

Walk around my room- to get that bootey loosened up.
Make my bed.
Write emails to Jakob and Drew.
Cross stitch.
Check Facebook.
Call home to remind Anna about track and Ellie about soccer.
Talk 10 seconds to Eve.
Check Fox News.
Look at houses on Realtor.com.
Ask if I can walk with Todd to the cafeteria.
They say no- but I might be allowed a 10 minute supervised walk each day. :)
Check my email.
Watch Todd read a book.
Talk to my real doctor.
She makes plans for an MRI, direct line iv, and an advance directive.
Write this blog.
Take a picture of my iv- which doesn't seem too bad after hearing them discuss a direct line surgically implanted in my neck...

Look at the clock and think this is going to be a very LONG hospital stay...

Climb Mt. Fuji little snail,
But slowly, slowly.

Here's to day one!!
I'm excited to get to my long-term room and unpack.
Grateful Todd is here to share the day with me...
Anything good on hospital tv?
Hope you had a great day!

PS!!
Guess what??
Todd and I walked to the nurses station and told them it was 6:30pm and I needed dinner. We told them (or begged profusely) that we were going to go to the cafeteria together just to buy dinner and come back up to eat it.

And, they agreed. I declined a wheelchair and promised to lay down flat in the hallway/elevator if I started to bleed.
As we were leaving I taunted that I might sprint down the hall... If they wanted to see if they could catch me.
I know I'm dumb-- but I felt SO good and rebellious as I picked out my own dinner.

My Lucky Day

I thought I'd feel sad when I woke up this morning, but I didn't. I felt lucky!
Lucky to be going to one of the best hospitals in the world.
Lucky to be in labor and delivery without being in preterm labor.
Lucky to be married to someone I still like after 15 years.
Lucky to have the most thoughtful friends and family!
Lucky to have sweet in-laws caring for my children while I'm away!
Lucky to have 8 beautiful children!
Lucky to have a home and family that I can't wait to come home to!

Perhaps as the weeks progress I won't feel so lucky, but today I feel like one lucky girl...

Sunday Morning Love

Sunday morning sun streams through my windows, birds sing, and my husband breathes deeply beside me. My soul is grateful. There is no place I'd rather be. I love my home, I love my family, I would choose this exact life again if I had the choice.

Sweet baby number eight wakes and kicks his morning hello. Number seven yells "Mom, I'm wake!" from her crib. I can hear giggles and movement as my house begins again. My soul is full of tangible, overflowing gratitude.

These early morning moments leave time for reflection, I leave Tuesday morning for what could be months in the hospital. Honestly, I could never come home. (This isn't a place I let my thoughts stray to.)  Today feels shimmery and innately ideal.  I wonder how much sweeter my life feels because I'm leaving it? Even as I wonder, I know- I always feel this way.

My heart aches with love every time I pull a sleepy child into my arms. So many nights I cuddle into Todd's sleeping body and hurt with love for that man.  Time passes quickly, but I haven't missed these everyday moments.  Today, I love my family more- but only because my ability to love fully is continually expanding.

The morning brightens and the sounds outside my bedroom liven.  I'm laying here typing this blog when Todd comes back to my side.  He has changed eve's morning diaper (she's been in, cuddled, and is out with sisters again) and he's now freshly showered and dressed. I love the smell and softness of a freshly shaved face. After kissing me fully, rubbing my belly, and saying hello to the baby in my womb, he asks what I want for breakfast on my last Sunday home. He holds me as I'm overcome with tears. "You can do this Jen," he assures me, and I believe him. I love that man.  I love my life.

Someday soon, I will be here again, listening to the sounds of a perfect Sunday morning. My family will be complete and life will return to the mundane. And, on that future Sunday morning, I will remember today. I will be that much more grateful and full.

These moments stretch my soul and make room for God to fill me with more. Stretching only increases my gratitude and my capacity to be filled with joy. Pure joy is listening to your family awaken on a beautiful Sunday morning.  Pure joy is quiet, simple moments when you feel the accumulation of your life's work and God's grace.

Men are that they might have joy. Can you feel your joy?

Life-- oh beautiful, normal, everyday life is so good!
Family is a gift, there is nothing more worth your effort.
There is beauty all around, when there's love at home.
I love my home.
Today- I am so grateful.

Enjoy your perfect Sabbath day.
Life is a gift!

Week 27- Pregnant with a baby boy, Placenta Accreta/Percreta, Placenta Previa, Thalassemia

{background info- Hello! My name is Jenifer and this is the story of my high-risk pregnancy.  I am currently pregnant with my eighth child (A BOY!!) and was diagnosed with Placenta Previa and Placenta Percreta.  I also have Beta Thalassemia which contributes to severe anemia.  While this has been a difficult pregnancy and we anticipate a difficult delivery, IT IS WORTH IT!

We NEVER regret our decision to get pregnant with this baby and are so grateful for this experience!!

 Accreta affects about 1 in 2500 pregnancies.  (It is pretty rare!)  If you have had previous uterine surgeries, your risk of Accreta increases to 1 in 500.  I have had two previous c-sections and one D&C, following a miscarriage.  Although I was at risk, prior to being diagnosed with this condition, I never knew Placenta Accreta existed.  Accreta is becoming more and more common as abortions and c-sections becoming more common.  

What is Accreta?  Accreta is where your placenta attaches to your uterine wall instead of to the lining of your uterus.  There are three different levels-- Accreta, Increta, and Percreta.  Accreta is where your placenta is attached to the first layer of uterine wall, deeper than the lining-- often Accreta's can still deliver and save the uterus.  Increta (17% of all Accreta cases) is where the placenta has grown into the muscle wall of the uterus-- this usually requires a c-section/hysterectomy.  The rarest form of Accreta is Percreta where the placenta actually grows through the wall of the uterus and attaches to other organs in the abdomen   Percreta is very dangerous and will require a c-section and repair of other internal organs that are affected.  Percreta affects only 5% of all who have Accreta.  (What is 5% of 1 in 2,500 births? Very rare.)  Most commonly, Percreta involves the bladder which is in front of the uterus (anterior placenta).  Sometimes Percreta involves the bowels with a posterior placenta.  Rarely it involves the uterus, bladder, cervix and bowels...  this is my condition.

I have been on complete pelvic rest and modified bed rest since 12 weeks of pregnancy.  My husband and other kind family members are taking care of my home and family while I spend most of my days sitting or laying.  This time of resting has been difficult, but it has also been a great gift.  I am thankful for every week that this baby is growing bigger and healthy inside of my womb.  I can't wait to meet this little guy-- our grand finale!!

This is a record of my pregnancy for my family and for those of you who may be experiencing something similar.  Yes, I share a lot, perhaps too much.  Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.  I am one who learns much from the experiences of others and I'm happy to share my experience with you, in the hopes that somehow it may help.}

Week 27--

Doctor Appointments.

Ultrasound- I wrote about my last ultrasound experience here.  It was an emotional experience for me.
my ultrasound was wonderful.  I cried a few times, which is very different for me.  I asked the sonographers to spend some time taking cute pictures and telling me how healthy my baby is.  (With a high-risk pregnancy you tend to stay in survival mode and miss out on the sweet "i'm having a baby" moments.)  I really needed some happy ultrasound experiences.

The head sonographer told me she wasn't convinced I had percreta.  She said that percreta meant my placenta had invaded my bladder.  She felt that my placenta was surrounding my bladder, but that my bladder walls were holding strong and NOT penetrated!!  She also spent some time looking at the back of my uterus where my placenta was near my colon.  It is really hard to see colon from an ultrasound, but she didn't see any conclusive evidence that my placenta was in my colon!! Such good news!

Perinatology-
My perinatologist is funny.  She does not sugar coat anything.  I completely trust her, I have heard MANY people rave about her, and I think she likes us although I'm not sure she is a fan of big families or my choice not to terminate this pregnancy.  She said, "I know that you value the life of this baby more than your own.   But we are going to keep you safe."    I replied, "Not more than my own.  I value this baby's life as much as my own."  On the way out I smiled and said, "Just you wait, Dr. W.  Next Christmas I am going to send you the most darling Christmas card with my EIGHT smiling children on it."

I had been having some sharp pain across my stomach and she was worried.  She said that my placenta is like a big ball of yarn, the yarn is all blood vessels.  Any time my uterus contracted, it would be squeezing this package of blood vessels and increasing my chance of rupture.  She is concerned that I am feeling pain, and concerned that I live so far from the hospital... and so, she wants me admitted to the hospital at 28 weeks.

They will start steriods the day I am admitted and I will hang out in the hospital until I deliver.  The plan is to schedule a surgery between 32-34 weeks.  (My vote is 34.)  She said there is a 90% chance I won't make it to my scheduled date.

I asked her what she would do if I called her on Monday, the day before I'm supposed to be admitted, and told her that I'm feeling great.  She said, "I would tell you that I'm glad you're feeling so good.  See you tomorrow."  Ha!  She's a tough one.  And so, I'm preparing myself to head to the hospital.

Hemotology--
My blood appointment was fine.  My blood levels are higher than they have been and she thinks I am over the lowest times.  She thinks I will be fine- blood wise, until I deliver.  They will probably tank me up right before surgery to try and get my pre-op blood levels up around 10.  She agrees that keeping me in the hospital until my delivery is the safest decision.

Women's Center/NICU-
While we were up at the hospital we stopped by the floor where I will be staying.  They showed me a room and told me what I could expect.  The room was much nicer than I had imagined.  They encouraged me to decorate it and make it my own.  I can wear my own clothes and have visitors.  My kids can even spend the night with me if I want them to.  This week, I'm busy getting my bags packed and deciding what to bring.  It is nice to have this time to prepare myself- physically and mentally.

We also stopped by the NICU and asked for a little tour.  We found out that siblings are aloud into the NICU (3 at a time).  Other children aren't, but siblings are allowed.  There are over 40 babies in this NICU, about 4 to a room.  Walking through I could feel a sense of peace and order, although I'm still so concerned about having a baby there that I can't stay with...  we'll see what the future brings.

Test Results.
Glucose-
1 hour- failed
3 hour fasting- passed (blah-- I didn't love this test)

CBC-
(Normal Range-- Hemoglobin 12.0-16.0, Hematocrit 36-46%)
April 15-- Hemoglobin 9, Hematocrit 29%  (Yay!  I haven't seen a 9 in a long time!!)
April 24-- Hemoglobin 8.9, Hematocrit 28%

Physically at 27 weeks.

In week 25 I had a transfusion and during the transfusion they couldn't find my baby's heartbeat for some time.  Although I knew he was okay, I felt that moment of "things might not turn out as I hope they will."  A couple days later I woke up and felt a strong, ripping feeling across the front of my belly.  I have had a lot of stomach pain throughout this pregnancy (most of it in my lower abdomen), but this was different.  My first thought was to run to the bathroom to see if I was bleeding (I was not).  My second thought was, everything could change in just a second.

For months my doctors have been giving me instructions on how to handle a hemorrhage   I live two hours from the hospital equipped to deal with my situation.  They would helicopter flight me to Portland, but I would need to get to my nearest hospital faster than an ambulance.  If I experience uterine rupture, they have only 25 minutes to get my baby out alive-- and that doesn't even address the risk of me bleeding out.  I will need a major red cross blood supply.  I have listened to their warnings and deep down I have thought I would be just fine.

Twenty minutes of no heartbeat, paired with one sharp pain, changed my perspective.  It was like a new understanding washed over me and I realized the seriousness of my condition.  Everything could change in a moment.  That sharp pain actually repeated itself three times that day and was followed by gently, but definite contractions.  My doctors were not happy that I didn't rush to the ER.  They said, "You do not have a wait and see condition."


Physically, most of the time I feel great.  I can't WAIT to be able to run and dance and jump and hold my babies again.  I want to drive and clean my house and play...  I usually wake up fine, but by the end of the day my lower abdomen is so sore I can't even stand pants.

Mentally at 27 weeks.
I am so grateful for a few days of fear that prepared me for my hospital stay.  Leaving my family for over a month is not easy-- but I feel that it is the right decision. I think I was prepared for this.  I'm glad that they told me to expect to be hospitalized at 25 weeks, so going in at 28 weeks feels like an accomplishment.

I've been compiling a list of things to bring with me and projects to do while I'm there.  I do NOT want to spend my days in the hospital just waiting to bleed.  I'm trying to set goals for the hospital like finish my photo books and complete a cross-stitch.  Even being at home on bed rest, there is a sense of accomplishment that comes from finishing something-- even if it's just a few more stitches on a current project.  I'm going to rock this hospital experience.  Even though I KNOW it won't be as lovely and relaxing as I'm hoping it will be-- I'm determined to make it a positive experience.

A merry heart is good medicine.
I can't control my placenta-- but I can guide my heart!
Life is good.  I am just loving these last days at home with my family....

ps-
the truth is-- the thought of going to the hospital makes me sick.  i LOVE being home with my family.
I'm afraid my time away is going to kill me.  But, I'm trying to find the good in this situation...
how can I leave my kids that long?  how will I sleep without my husband beside me?
dumb things haunt me... like, my toy closet is a mess and my kids really need a good clothing sort to get rid of too small winter clothes and get out summer clothes.
i know that i'm not indispensable at home and my situation is pretty dang ideal (with all the sweet helpers I have), but it is still hard.  Drowning hard if I think about it.

a project for the hospital...

do you love this?
i do.
think i can make one?
i hope.

I am picky...  I've spent the past few months scouring websites to find a good bed rest project.
When I get close to picking one, I start to feel guilty about the unfinished projects I already have waiting for me.
And, truth be told, I haven't had much "project" time as I've bed rested at home.

This morning I ordered a kit and I hope to at least put a good dent in it while I am waiting to meet this baby, and recovering from my surgery.

Here are the samplers that I almost chose...

The Virture Sampler by Little House- I love this one!


Be Kind and Be True from etsy


Vintage Janlyn, The Lord's Prayer


Some I liked, but seemed a bit morbid under the circumstances...
The Victoria Sampler

a small project that I love and that I'm sure I could finish...
(maybe I should have picked this one!)
Let us Be Truly Thankful



Eliza Scattergood, 1839



After much deliberation I decided to order "The Family Sampler" by Little House Needleworks
I love it, although I am a bit intimidated by how much work it will take to finish.
I am determined to fit all eight of my children on-- and I'm excited that I can FINALLY start projects that will represent my full family.  (For the first time, I know exactly how many children I'm going to have!!)
Don't you think it will be good for me to stitch this little boy in right next to his brothers and sisters?  I do.

Isn't this a beautiful project?!  I love it and HOPE I will sew my little tush off while I'm in the hospital.
Got to run-- I promised myself I would not start this project until I finish a cross stitch I was working on when Todd and I got engaged (15 years ago).  Today-- I am going to finish it!
Have a good day!!

my miracle baby.

almost 27 weeks.  2.4 lbs

For weeks I have been planning what I would say to my sonographer...
please, 10 minutes of a normal, sweet, happy baby ultrasound before we look at my placenta!
I am desperate to just ENJOY this baby and separate the fear from the miracle.

The normal drill is that I'm seen by a regular sonographer who measures everything from the head, belly, femur and amnio fluid levels to heart rate and chord blood flow.  They spend most of their time following the edges of my placenta to see how it has grown and whether or not they think it has infiltrated the bladder.  With about 10 minutes left of our hour long appointment, they call in the big whigs-- the doctors and most experienced sonographers who will dictate a few additional pictures and assist with the vaginal ultrasound that shows off my placenta a bit easier (for them, not me).

My last ultrasound was 3 weeks ago and it FREAKED me out.  They showed me this placenta that had completely overrun my abdomen.  My bladder, cervix and bowels seemed to be all tangled in a mass of placenta blood vessels and I was told "worst case" was months of colostomy and bladder/bowel reconstruction surgeries.  Blah.  Scary.

Last week was a tough week for me, emotionally.  20 minutes of them not being able to find the baby's heartbeat during my transfusion and a day of extreme abdominal pain, had left me worried.  I really, really needed to see my little guy and have someone else just enjoy him with me.

My favorite sonographer is also the very best.  She has written text books and is a calm, sweet, humble woman.  (She reminds me of Julie Merrill- if you know her.)  She looked at my placenta and disagreed with my previous ultrasound reading... she still doesn't think the placenta has gone through all the levels of my bladder-- it COULD just pull off easily after delivery.  AND, she saw no conclusive evidence that my placenta is into my colon.  !!  Yes, there is still 6 weeks for my placenta to grow-- but to her, things seemed to be holding steady NOT getting incredibly worse by the day.  That was SO good to hear.

After all the medical stuff was finalized, she sent everyone out of the room to write up the reports and said, "I hear you need some happy time with your baby... lets see what I can do."  She explained that she spends most of her time taking pictures of babies with genetic defects and that she would love to take some 3d images of my perfect little guy.  I couldn't help the tears that poured down my face as she showed me image after image of the sweetest little guy ever...

And, even though I know it hasn't been easy for him inside my womb these past few months... he looked sweet and peaceful.  I'm so grateful for that.  I'm grateful for a kind doctor who took a few extra minutes to soothe a pregnant woman's soul.  I'm grateful for the miracle of birth and for modern technology.  My little guy was tucked way into my pelvic bone, his feet were straight up by his head, his cord was right in front of his face and his hands were wrapped up around his head... and still we got these darling shots.

a baby foot.

Life is a miracle.  Pregnancy is beautiful.  There is a God and He creates these babies inside of us.  Each life is a blessing... and today, I am SO grateful.

Now... I need a name for this sweet baby boy.

 Look at that baby!!  Wouldn't you agree that he is worth every second of the work it will take to get him here safely?!!

a high pain tolerance.

I'm fine.  And, I'm not complaining.
I know that the hard road to recovery is going to be way harder than these past few months of anticipating.  Trust me, I know that.

But sometimes, it's the little things that get me...
When the nurse misses my vein putting in an IV and spends a few minutes poking around trying to force it in.
When a blood tech tapes on a cotton ball without applying adequate pressure and ten minutes later my jacket is soaked through with blood.
When they have to draw blood from veins already sore and bruised from previous pokes- ouch.
Tummy aches that are bad enough to scare me, but not bad enough to think I need to rush to the ER (like my doctors tell me I should).
When it takes two nurses, a doctor and an ultrasound to find the heartbeat of my baby.  (Even when I know everything is probably fine, that 20 minute wait seems FOREVER.)
When, just once, the sonographer takes a sweet picture of my baby boy and writes "Hi Mom and Dad", instead of "anterior placenta".
When people ask, "When is your baby due?" And, I say "They will take him around the beginning of June, hopefully."  Instead of July 19th.  JULY 19th seems a world away.
When people say, "27 weeks!  Your baby can survive.  Aren't you excited?!" And I picture the NICU isolette with tiny 2.5 lb babies wrapped in cords and tubes and wires and skin and bones... and I think- No!! Not so excited about a 27 week baby...
When I hear my two year old say, "Where's mommy?  Doctors?"
When I enter field trips or guinea pig shows or horseback riding lessons or soccer games or Anna's first YW in Excellence into my calendar and I know I won't be here to share the day.
When I'm up in the night and I cuddle up next to Todd, knowing how desperately I'm going to miss him beside me.

There are moments along my journey that I can't help the tears that run down my cheeks.  Feelings of fear, worry, anger, "I just don't WANT to do this" are close and suffocating if I give them too much time on the stage of my mind.

Yes, it has been hard being on bed rest the past 4 months.  Yes, it is hard to get poked and prodded.  Yes, there are so many things I'd rather be doing than spending my days at doctor's appointments or in the hospital.

I know what it is like to have a healthy pregnancy where you complain about being hungry and tired and feeling a baby up in your ribs.  I know what it is like to have ultrasounds where they just ooh and ahh over the cute baby giving you a thumbs up.

I saw a mother in the waiting room just yesterday with a perfect, 9 day old baby.  When my baby is 9 days old, neither him nor I will be well enough to sit in a waiting room surrounded by that perfect newborn glow.  I know what that is like, and I miss it.  I mourn for what this pregnancy could have been and yet I am grateful.

Doctors always tell me that I have a "high pain tolerance."  That makes me roll my eyes.  No, I don't scream and cry and cuss when things don't go my way.  I suppose I do "tolerate pain" fairly well.  But, a high pain tolerance is NOT physical.  It is mental.  It is knowing that soon, this pain will end.  It is trusting that those working on you are doing their best, that they need focus to finish their task.  (It isn't their fault that they have to stick me- again.)  Usually, the worse things are, the quieter I get.  I do handle the big things fairly well, but sometimes, it's the little things that get me.  Sometimes, I wish there was no pain to tolerate.  You know?  And, my hard part hasn't even started yet... sigh.

No matter how hard  life seems to get, there is ALWAYS so much to be grateful for.  I'm grateful for the kind doctors and nurses and receptionists and sonographers and blood techs who treat me each day.  People are good, aren't they?  Don't you love getting to know new people?  I'm grateful for a kind and supportive family who cares for me, my family and my home.  I'm grateful that I have a baby to worry about.  I'm grateful for a strong, healthy body that is going to pull through this ordeal just fine.  I'm grateful for friends and neighbors who show that they care in so many different ways.  I'm grateful for incredible medical technology-- I'm not the first, I'm not the worst, I am so blessed to be the recipient of great learning.

I'm grateful for a strong foundation of faith- I know that I am known and that all these things shall be for my good and shall give me experience.  I'm grateful to know that my journey is just like yours-- it is hard for me, but there are worse hards.  In the end, whatever happens, things are going to be OK.  And, I know that.

So, what's a girl to do?  I'm going to brush off my bruised veins, put on my big girl panties and make a few more jokes to the sonographer.  (Because really, is it fair that I can endure many, painful, vaginal ultrasounds when physical intimacy with my husband is forbidden?)  I'm going to enjoy these last few days at home with my kids and I'm going to pray for strength and hope and angels to be with me and my family.  I can do this.  And, even if it gets hard, I can try my best.  That's what life is all about, isn't it.
One day at a time, one moment at a time, one IV at a time.

This is a mountain that I'm climbing... and it is worth it.  I hear there is a breathtaking view at the top!!  (Perhaps breathtaking isn't the best adjective to use... ha!)

So grateful.

Time in my recliner has blessed me with many moments to watch others care for me, my home, and my babies.

Nothing touches a mom's heart more than someone else loving those I love most.
Today I am so grateful!

Week 25- Pregnant with a baby boy, Placenta Accreta/Percreta, Placenta Previa, Thalassemia

{background info- Hello! My name is Jenifer and this is the story of my high-risk pregnancy.  I am currently pregnant with my eighth child (A BOY!!) and was diagnosed with Placenta Previa and Placenta Percreta.  I also have Beta Thalassemia which contributes to severe anemia.  While this has been a difficult pregnancy and we anticipate a difficult delivery, IT IS WORTH IT!  

We NEVER regret our decision to get pregnant with this baby and are so grateful for this experience!!

 Accreta affects about 1 in 2500 pregnancies.  (It is pretty rare!)  If you have had previous uterine surgeries, your risk of Accreta increases to 1 in 500.  I have had two previous c-sections and one D&C, following a miscarriage.  Although I was at risk, prior to being diagnosed with this condition, I never knew Placenta Accreta existed.  Accreta is becoming more and more common as abortions and c-sections becoming more common.    

What is Accreta?  Accreta is where your placenta attaches to your uterine wall instead of to the lining of your uterus.  There are three different levels-- Accreta, Increta, and Percreta.  Accreta is where your placenta is attached to the first layer of uterine wall, deeper than the lining-- often Accreta's can still deliver and save the uterus.  Increta (17% of all Accreta cases) is where the placenta has grown into the muscle wall of the uterus-- this usually requires a c-section/hysterectomy.  The rarest form of Accreta is Percreta where the placenta actually grows through the wall of the uterus and attaches to other organs in the abdomen   Percreta is very dangerous and will require a c-section and repair of other internal organs that are affected.  Percreta affects only 5% of all who have Accreta.  (What is 5% of 1 in 2,500 births? Very rare.)  Most commonly, Percreta involves the bladder which is in front of the uterus (anterior placenta).  Sometimes Percreta involves the bowels with a posterior placenta.  Rarely it involves the uterus, bladder, cervix and bowels...  this is my condition.

I have been on complete pelvic rest and modified bed rest since 12 weeks of pregnancy.  My husband and other kind family members are taking care of my home and family while I spend most of my days sitting or laying.  This time of resting has been difficult, but it has also been a great gift.  I am thankful for every week that this baby is growing bigger and healthy inside of my womb.  I can't wait to meet this little guy-- our grand finale!!

This is a record of my pregnancy for my family and for those of you who may be experiencing something similar.  Yes, I share a lot, perhaps too much.  Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.  I am one who learns much from the experiences of others and I'm happy to share my experience with you, in the hopes that somehow it may help.}

Week 25--

Doctor Appointments.
I had NO doctor appointments this week or last week.
I did spend a day in the hospital for 2 units of blood transfusions on April 9th.

They are trying to keep my blood levels above a Hemoglobin of 8.
One unit of blood is supposed to raise your Hemoglobin levels one.
So, if I was 7.7 prior to transfusion, I should be 9.7 after two units.
I was 8.4 the morning of my transfusion-- and 8.8 the morning after two units of blood.  ??!!
It's weird.  They are not sure where the blood is going.  I'm having some minor reaction, but nothing too serious.
(I'm getting used to weird test results.)
I LOVE my hemotologist and perinatologist.  They both are great at answering any questions I have.  They keep in close contact with me throughout the week and they are very wise doctors that I completely trust.

Insurance and Scheduling.
Who knew how discouraging it can be to receive bills in the mail for thousands of dollars saying "Pay this Amount" or "Denied by Insurance"?  It's ridiculous!  After I saw that ONE doctor appointment was costing my insurance $1600, I don't feel bad at all asking so many questions!  Ha!

Besides the fact that we need to buy a house this summer, our car just broke down on the way home from Costco this afternoon, and we just found out Jakob needs surgery on his toe, (ha!) we are doing fine financially.  Even with good insurance, just the sheer TIME bills and insurance and paperwork is daunting.  (And, we are just at the beginning.)  I can see why medical bills are such a nightmare for so many people.

Every person you talk to tells you a different thing, you are always on hold, and there are so many different specialists and doctors that it really makes me wonder how people without a PhD figure things out.  Just trying to schedule all the appointments I need to have is sometimes crazy... lab work, follow-ups, special tests.  At the office doctors all want to "schedule the visits for the same day", but actually trying to coordinate between offices is a joke.  Doctors will say, "call if anything changes" or, "I want to know how you are feeling."  Then, when you do call, you have to leave a message that you hope actually gets to the doctor.  If I didn't already have a headache, all this would certainly give me one.  :)

I have learned a few things-- it is WHO you know.  Being on the phone with doctors, nurses, receptionists, insurance workers, etc... I will say- not every person is created equal!!  There are kind, smart receptionists who can have your questions resolved in minutes and there are call centers who take a message that may or may not every get returned.  There are billing clerks who resolve problems and billing clerks who never call back.  GET NAMES!!

My life has been made SO nice because of a few nurses or doctors who say, "Here is my direct line, call me anytime."  I thank heaven for a smart billing lady, Melissa, who worked out all my insurance junk and got pre-approval for the next few months of my care.  I have a long list of phone numbers under OHSU on my phone-- I like to learn the names of my favorite contacts and keep in touch with the same people.  It is SO nice not having to explain my situation over and over.  I'm grateful for the good people that have touched my life through this experience.

Test Results.
CBC-
(Normal Range-- Hemoglobin 12.0-16.0, Hematocrit 36-46%)
March 25-- Hemoglobin 8.4 g/dl, Hematocrit 27%
April 2-- Hemoglobin 7.6, Hematocrit 25%
April 8-- Hemoglobin 7.7, Hematocrit 25%
April 9 (at OHSU prior to transfusion)-- Hemoglobin 8.4, Hematocrit 26.2%
April 10 (in Corvallis after 2 units of blood)-- Hemoglobin 8.8, Hematocrit 28%

Physically at 25 weeks.
I just don't even like thinking about how I feel.  My answer is-- I feel just fine.
I do have some pain in my lower belly and my blood/blood reactions make me feel like I've taken a Benadryl even when I haven't.
Honestly, I hardly do anything.  I'm on bed rest and have wonderful In-Laws who care for my home and children.  It makes me laugh that the most I ever walk is when I end up walking around the hospital going from lab to appointment.


Mentally at 25 weeks.
All is well!
Sometimes I feel so stir-crazy I could scream.
I'm sick of not accomplishing things-- I don't want to read a book or watch TV.
I started doing family history and trying to make some digital photo books- that should help.

That's all folks!
I'm so grateful to be home and that I'm not bleeding!!!!!!!!
Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers.

Nerd Day.

I have the cutest nerds ever.
I love that they are still not afraid to dress-up for spirit days!

Blah blah blood

I might have figured out how to post a blog from my phone...
You will love the beauties I come up with as I lay here in my hospital bed for HOURS!!

friends at the beach.

It was so fun to have some friends stop by for a few days during spring break.

We love showing people around our neck of the woods.
ESPECIALLY other crazy families with seven kids.

Todd walking with Jay...
don't you love life-long friends?

(Jay Walker was the best man at our wedding.  It is fun seeing those two together.  I will say they are probably two of the nicest guys around-- with two of the most amazing wives.)  ;)

 I almost felt normal touring the aquarium with them and my seven kids, while being pushed around in a wheel chair.

I look pretty good with a little BOY on my lap- don't I?
i think i need one. 

(My favorite part of the aquarium was finding Leah asleep on a bench.  Not my six year old Leah, my friend Leah-- the mom who had just driven all night to get to our house.)

We stopped at my favorite fish and chips place for lunch!

And couldn't let them leave Newport without visiting our Sea Lions... they were honking like CRAZY!
so funny!

I probably should not have hiked over the river and through the woods to the beach- on bed rest.
But, it was SOOO worth it.

How much longer will i receive these cute messages in the sand?

I should have taken a picture of the sand message we read... 

it said, Me + No One = Forever Alone.

Poor girl.  I'm glad I'm still in the I love mom stage of life with my five girls...

Ahhh.  How the world is even more beautiful when you have been on a bed for some time.

Oregon is beautiful.

Friendship is what this life is all about.
Thanks for visiting Walkers!!
We love you guys and can't wait to see you again.