I come home to a house and barn that has missed me terribly.
How do we live in a world that is far below our expectations or desires? We all have to do this in one way or another.
For me, I'm drowning in unfolded laundry and weeds. The cows got into our barn a few times and caused havoc mixed with poo. Our chicken coop needs the love of a mother hen and honestly, I'm afraid that cleaning out a dirty chicken coop will trigger in me another round of Sarcoidosis (a lung reaction triggered by breathing in fumes). We have a pool that is so much work. We didn't open it last summer and have never gotten it quite right this summer. And- I refuse to spend my whole life pushing my kids to work. We need some time for play. I need some time for rest.
I need to feel the easy yoke.
I've been trying to WORSHIP more in addition to STUDYING.
For me, worship is gratefully and humbly walking in the Spirit of the Lord. Just being outside in nature helps me worship. Looking at holy art, hearing or singing holy music is worship for me.
When I worship, I feel like I've been bathed or cleansed of all my fears and allowed the seasons and strength of the wind remind my soul that all is well. I feel Him whispering "Peace, Be Still."
I see His gifts, flowers amidst the weeds.
Drew works hard out here in the fields. He feeds the animals and even keeps the bird feeders full with alternating bird food.
I went to bed last night careful and troubled about many things. I told Todd I was ready to move to a smaller home on less land. He reminded me that THIS was my dream. I told him I dream too big.
This morning I studied about Christ's first miracle- changing the water into fine wine. I heard promise in that miracle. I thought that He was promising me that He could turn my water offering into wine. I heard a whisper of faith and hope, but those drops fell hollow in my troubled mind. I knew it, but I didn't feel it.
It wasn't until I took time to walk and feel God in my life that I could SEE Him.
I saw Him here, in my weedy gardens and stinky barn.
I felt the love of my father...
And my Creator...
I'm trying not to create a long To Do List.
Today-- I'm SO grateful for the chance to feel.
I'm posting on Instagram @mossmoments the short video I took of the stinkiest place in my yard. I think you can feel the same peace I felt there.
Today- I'm going to fold laundry while seeking gratitude and peace. I'm going to send my boys out to make peace in the barn.
And, even if nothing improves, I will feel blessed in this mess.
Flowers grow beside weeds.
God loves us even as He lets us stretch and grow.
There is beauty all around when there is GOD at home.
Life is good.