i am.

My friend dani has opened my mind to my latest quest...
while the professor was camping, and my little girls were sleeping, and i was mopping, dani expounded.
she speaks in sentances.
i speak in paragraphs.
so, i did most of the actual talking, but her ideas have changed me.

we talked about Christ... He often refers to himself as I AM.
dani suggested that of any that have ever walked the Earth, Christ was most perfectly HIMSELF.
He fulfilled HIS mission on Earth perfectly.
Sometimes, in our quest for "perfection" we try to become like someone else... but what is perfect on someone else may not be perfect on us.
Instead dani has ignited in me a quest to know who I AM and to be that person completely.

I Am good.
I Am fun.
I Am kind and thoughtful and loving and a good mother and a good friend and someone good to talk to.
I have everything within me to be what God wants me to be.
And, I CAN do everything that is expedient for me to do each day.

dani told me something she learned from her mom.
when she gets flustered (perhaps right before she is speaking to a large group) she puts her hand on her chest and breathes, feeling herself, finding herself and reminding herself that she can and she will and she is...
(again, the length of that sentence proves it is my interpretation of what she was meaning... she's concise and wise, I AM not concise.)
i've borrowed this deep breathe reminder many times during my days when i feel overwhelmed and i LOVE it.

i love how this calm assurance keeps me from worry and panic and other unproductive responses to stress...

the truth is, I can do great things.  I can calm a fussy baby, I can clean a messy home, I can coax an attitude from a child, I can soothe and teach and change perspectives.  I can cook dinner in 5 minutes.  I can find a sippy cup or a lost shoe... and, I don't need to be in a hurry.  If I can't do something, that's ok too.

There are many things I Am not.
Gratefully, I married a man who is VERY good at the things I am not so good at.
and he is not so good at things i AM good at.
Together, We ARE so much better than we are apart.

Here's a quote that dani heard and passed on to me.

Better than YESTERDAY, 
not as good as TOMORROW.

love it.
but, it's not that i'm just better today than yesterday, it's that I AM more ME.
i am loving trying to learn who I AM.
who my husband is...
who my children are...
who you are?

today, i AM better than yesterday...  and, i'm so excited for tomorrow.
my new quest-- get to know me a little better.

(thanks dani!)
post edit--
my newest nephew passed-on this past weekend.
we are heading to idaho to celebrate with family.
(if you want to read about him you can here)
see you later!!!!!!!!!