because someday, i'll be a grandma.

i bought some yarn today.

it's in my blood.
my grandma crocheted.
and so, i am compelled.

my grandparents adored me.
i was their first granddaughter.
and, even though my parents split when i was three, i always felt loved by many.


one way i can still feel my grandma's love, is through the things she made.
yes, i have an afghan... i wish i had understood when she gave it to me the hours and hours she spent crocheting, thinking about me, loving me.
i understand now, and i'm so grateful.
i think she knows.

today, my babies wear the sweaters that i used to wear.
when i see them, i feel her love. 
when i hold my babies in her stitches, i feel that she loves them too.

and so, i begin my afghan.
as i stitch i think that life is short, but family is forever.
someday, when i'm gone my blanket may comfort those i love... a physical reminder of the love i will still feel.

because... granny squares they are real, touchable, and see-able.

my grandma's love for me, it's real too. 
i can remember it, i can touch it through the memories she has left, and yet, i feel it still. 
i know she knows me now.  she knows my children.  she knows the children who are waiting to come to my family. 
a grandmother's love is more real than afghans, but somehow, being able to touch the button she sewed on just for me, that helps me to remember.

and so, today i begin...
because tomorrow i want you to know, that i lived, i loved and i will love you still.