creating.

i copied this picture from pioneer woman's website.
i am SO EXCITED to meet my baby.

and, although i've complained plenty about STILL being pregnant--
i should add, i LOVE being pregnant.
it is AMAZING feeling a baby inside of you.
being a partner with God in creating a miracle-- 7 times over.
last night i wrote letters for my kids to read when i'm in the hospital.
i thought about birthing each of them.
from the first moment they enter this world, actually INSIDE the womb, they are individuals.
they move differently.
they cry uniquely.
they make the same darling expressions at birth that i see them make today when they are concentrating.

the nine months that i carry another spirit around with me, are nine months that i am learning about this baby and feeling her.
this baby inside my womb now is mild.
she is gentle and noble.
i feel her and i love her and i'm so grateful for the time that we have spent together.

i'm also continually amazed at my body.
i make babies.
my body is strong.
my blood held out-- nine months with NO transfusions.
always, right before birth, my hematocrit increases.
my body is preparing.
and, after birth, my blood levels are good-- even though I have lost blood.
miraculous.

my back is strong-- i have only had minor back aches-- isn't that amazing? 
I have carried seven babies and my body is still strong.
i have no stretch marks-- it's just the skin type i inherited from my mother.
i do have 3 major scars on my tummy from 3 life threatening surgeries-- one surgery i had as a teenager, where they removed 3 ft. of my intestine, and 2 emergency c-sections.
amazing.
they have cut into my abdomen 3 times and still i can expand to carry a baby.
and, my belly is beautiful.

my pregnant body is the most beautiful i ever am.
although i'm carting around a bunch of extra weight, my body is tight and full and rounded.
my husband always rubs my belly sticking out from my pjs- he says, "I'm going to miss your belly."
i tell him, "It will still be here after the baby is born, just a bit more squishy."
After pregnancy bodies are squishy and nurturing and motherly.
pregnant bodies are tight and beautiful.
i will miss this. 

During the past few weeks i have felt my bones shifting.
My hips are opening... it is hard to walk, i have the definite pregnant waddle.
it is amazing to me.
i can feel my body preparing for birth.
opening, widening, becoming more flexible and ready.
isn't it incredible that our bodies are designed to birth a baby?
and feed a baby.

i know the joy that fills the room when a baby is born.
the veil is thin.
i often feel the spirits of those that i love who have passed on.
i imagine them holding my daughter-- saying good bye and handing her off to me.
i imagine these days of preparing, she is preparing also.
saying goodbye, getting last hugs, blessings, and advice for her journey here on earth.
i am so excited to meet and cuddle this newest baby.
i feel so blessed to have been given this opportunity.
it is an honor to be a mother, to be trusted to love and nurture and teach another one of God's children.
i'm so grateful to be a woman.
a woman who has created babies.
i'm grateful for my body.
i'm grateful for God's plan-- that He lets me partner with Him in creating.

i LOVE being a mother.
my children amaze me daily, and i am humbled by their goodness.
how blessed i am.
some days i whine about my part... but EVERY DAY i am in awe of His part.
motherhood is divine.
pregnancy is miraculous.
i am grateful for one more day.
ps.  i think it's funny that my pregnancy calculator still says 1 more day.
I think it will stay on 1 more day till i deliver.
and, so will I.
Today is the day.  right?!