learning.

after listening to "how to hug a teenage porcupine" (read about it here),
i realized that i need to be dependable.
my children need to trust that i will follow through.
poor lily was the first to test my dependability.
we were fixing dinner together and my little girls found the chocolate chips.
they wanted to eat them and i said no.  it was just about time for dinner.
{looking back, i should have just given them a few chips and tucked the tupperware away... not a big deal.}
my girls were pretty sassy, saying "No mom!  I am going to eat these."
i looked them right into their eyes and said, "If you eat chocolate chips you will have to go to bed and you will not get any dinner."
i was determined to stick to my guns-- i promised them that they would be happy if they obeyed.
lily, my 3 year old said, "Humph... i am going to eat these.  i am not going to obey."
she quickly threw a handful of chocolate chips into her mouth.
leah watched and decided NOT to try it.  she was very interested in what would happen to lily.
blah.  i do not love these teaching moments that occur right at my craziest, dinner preparation time of life.

for dinner that night we had roasted brussels sprouts, homemade noodles, beef and gravy.
the noodles were too thick.
it was not my kid's favorite dinner.
but, for some reason, lily thought it was the best dinner ever.
{i think it's because she had helped make the noodles.  we saved her some.}
she started to cry almost before she was done chewing her mouthful of chocolate chips.
i told her that i was so sad she couldn't eat with us-- that we had a very yummy dinner-- that it was so important that she learned to obey her momma.
she was SOO sad.
my other kids came running to rescue their beloved sister.
they were so concerned.
I was thinking i had been a little too harsh in my punishment.
Lily is only three...
but, Leah was watching intently...
Lily had made a VERY conscious choice to disobey.

As we sat down to dinner i decided that Lily could eat bread and butter and water.
i buttered her a piece of bread and sat it on her plate.
lily wailed.
my older children looked at me with pleading eyes...  "she's just a baby mom!"
lily was saying over and over, "I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry.  I will never eat choco-late chips every again.  I'm sorry!!"
sweet girl.
there were great negotiations...  "lily can eat my dinner mom."
lily cried for a long time.
she didn't go to bed hungry (i think she ended up with bread and cereal).
she didn't go to bed without a lot of love and hugs and smiles...
but, she did go to bed with an experience.
i'm glad that lily could learn that when she choices to disobey she will not be happy.

i always like when a simple punishment seems so horrible to my children.
it makes me think they will remember it.
this specific dinner just made me laugh... because nobody else wanted to eat it.
when we poured lily a bowl of cereal, leah sat there looking at her uneaten brussels sprouts.
she said, "Mom, i wish i had eaten chocolate chips."
i laughed.
i'm certain that if leah had eaten them i would not have offered such appealing alternatives.
lily's crying remorse and excessive repentance did save her from any real hunger.

i love being a mother.
i don't always do everything right.
i don't always know what the right thing is.
but, i do think that somehow, all these little moments of effort will add up.
i know that i am learning more than i am teaching.
and, thus i'm so grateful for my homeschool.

now... what to do about THIS little trouble maker?!
{we moved to dog food to our kitchen/laundry room bathroom... now there is toilet paper mixed in the mess!}

just an end note...
my first four were horrific mess makers.
someday i'll tell you about their exploits.
nothing can compare with my boys-- double trouble.
it was constant and funny and many days left me shaking my head and crying...
my younger girls are not as bad... but they are familiar.
messy and creative.
having a large family means i learned with my older kids so i don't ruin my younger ones.
i still laugh.
i still shake my head and cry sometimes at the great messes i have to clean.
but every day i am grateful for this stage of life.
they grow out of it.
and all you have, when they receive their straight A honor roll for the 20th time is the fleeting memories of all you endured to get you to this point.
i collect stories of my children's naughty deeds as proof of my saintly motherhood.
sweet eve is adding many badges to my Eagle Mother sash.
even when it's messy-- i love my job.

sweet, silly baby.
have a great day!