pulling weeds.

the one sad thing about my blog is that when my life gets busy and full of great things, i have a hard time taking the time to write about them.
(i hope that last sentence doesn't make you feel like there are times of my life that are not busy.  i'd say busy... and busier... is more accurate!)

we are travelling and playing and working.
having so much fun together and driving each other crazy.
our days are full and as unscheduled as possible.
i feel both a pull to do less and a pull to do more.
i LOVE these summer days.

we ignored our big garden for too long as our days got full at the end of the school year.
when we finally visited again, it was a JUNGLE of weeds.
yesterday we weeded for a LONG time.
holy hannah!!!
that was probably one of the hardest things i have EVER done!!
i am an old lady.
my bones and back and arms are SORE!!
drew said, "mom, this isn't even the hard part.  we still don't have any animals.  are you sure you want to be a farmer's wife?"
he makes me laugh.

while we picked i told them this story...
Elder Eyring told a story about his father, Henry Eyring, a renowned scientist. His father was 80 years old and suffering from bone cancer when he was invited to work on the stake farm. His job was to pull weeds from the onion field. His pain was so intense that he couldn't kneel; he pulled himself on his elbows. The other workers said that he kept a smile and laughed all day. After he had spent the entire day pulling weeds, someone noticed that his father had pulled the wrong weeds, Bishop Eyring said. The weeds he pulled had already been sprayed and were going to die anyway. Bishop Eyring asked his father why he only laughed at the mix-up. "Son, I wasn't there for the weeds," he said. The importance of the "weeds" aren't always seen at the moment, but being steadfast and waiting upon the Lord will bring blessings for those who endure to the end, Bishop Eyring said. Relating this story to BYU Students, Bishop Eyring said that we aren't here for the weeds, "we're here for the Savior." 
(Daily Universe Newspaper)

by the end of the rows i felt like crawling up the rows... my kids kept saying, "You're not here for the weeds mom!"

today, i am packing up for a short trip to see family in idaho.
i'm excited.
isn't life funny?
every choice we have has a consequence-- to choose something we are not getting something else.
last weekend i got to go with my husband to my cousin's wedding.
it was beautiful.  she was beautiful.
we are not that far apart in age.
while i have been married for the past 15 years, Tracy has been living in New York as a Nanny.
We are not that different, but for the next two weeks she will be in Peru and i'll be home here pretending i'm Super Nanny.   ha!
i am a bit jealous of her.
i would DIE for two weeks in Peru.
a friend asked me, "Would you trade one of your children for a million trips to Peru?"
(i thought, "do i get to choose the child?"  ha!  just kidding.)
NO WAY!  i wouldn't.
i didn't.
i chose this life and in choosing to marry young and have a large family, i have not chosen other things.
and, sometimes those are really great things.
like a trip to peru.
SOMEDAY, i'm going to choose that!!
really.

i feel this pull in other aspects of my life.
to go to family reunions or not go.
if i go, it is a lot of work for a short amount of time.
a 12 hour car ride, laundry, cost, packing, navigating children and family relationships that takes effort...
fun times, good memories, building relationships
if i stay home there are other hard things and other good things.
i am craving some time at home with just me and my family.
but oh how i love time to visit!

i do laugh, at the end of each blog i write...
it is always the same message--

CHOOSE YE THIS DAY whom ye will serve.
what ye will do with your day.
CHOOSE to be happy and enjoy the life you are building.
CHOOSE to invest today in your tomorrows.
For we will ALL reap what we sow!!
we are NOT here for the weeds... we are here for the BECOMING.
perhaps we are all becoming farmer's wives!
perhaps my cousin is becoming the wife of a rain forest explorer and i am becoming a farmer's wife.
BOTH lives are beautiful.  BOTH lives are hard.
Life is good!!
(remind me of this at the END of our 12 hour drive...)