Thanks to angels both living and dead.
I spent 2 hours in the zero gravity chair doing kangaroo care. Those were the first pain free hours I have spent since Ben was born. I felt peace as I flipped back to gravity.
There was soooo much divine symbolism in that rest. Todd had promised in a blessing that as I looked into my baby's face all trials would fade into mortality and I would feel intense gratitude and perspective.
I thought that was a one time event. I have learned that finding holy places, where I can look into ben's gentle, grateful, eternal soul have renewed me again and again. Like visiting the temple or partaking of the sacrament. I shout praises to a God of miracles who took interest in this one, very painful, very blessed momma. He has given me a way to press pause in the midst of my endurance
I am tired- so I can't blog well and I fall asleep while people are talking to me.
my blurry brain makes autocorrect tortuous. (sorry)
My feet/legs have been extremely swollen and feel like knives stabbing. It scares me- although pain is to be expected. Perhaps even long-term. Yesterday, my two middle toes felt better. Two of my toes that have felt like they were wrapped in rubberbands- felt better!!
My aunt said immediately following surgery I would cry that about my arms aching. Wha??!! My arms feel fine!
Drs continue to be amazed at my positive progress. We started a list to keep track of successes.
As I was visiting with one of my favorites (dr w). I jokingly asker her what she had done to me. She smiled and said- "not me! You choose this.". I laughed and felt a little more of my "just watch me survive" natural grit
Yesterday--
I felt no pain for two hours!!!!
And--
I can feel my body getting better ONE TOE AT A TIME!!!!
Life is beautiful.
Take time for your own zero gravity renewal.
here's to hoping (and still praying!) that your body continues to heal itself and find relief. what a sacred experience and promise in your blessing. may that keep you going! the above picture is sincerely incredible. Wow. God is indeed a God of miracles...AND, thank goodness, of tender mercies too. those can get us through some hard days.
ReplyDeleteYAY for the zero gravity chair! This photo made me cry... Can you feel my hug? Your beautiful words about how looking into Ben's eyes gives you peace... God gave you that moment so you can draw on that in the days to come. So powerful...
ReplyDeleteYou WILL keep getting better --- one toe at a time! ❤
Hi Jen, I am in the large LDS Family group with you and am Diane Robertson MIL. You have touched my heart and soul. We are all praying for you. Thank you for the life you have lead, your ability to look for good always and you extreme faith. God bless you always.
ReplyDeleteYour strength is amazing. What an example you are to us. Thank you for being strong. Continued thoughts and prayers for you as recovery continues:)
ReplyDeletei still think you are blogging beautifully with a blurry brain...and thanks for doing it.
ReplyDeleteyou are in my thoughts ALL the time. I told Tiffany I plan on meeting you someday!
That is the sweetest picture!
ReplyDeleteYou're a survivor,Jen. Still thinking about you and praying for you often.
ReplyDeleteJen, you make me cry--for your pain and for your joy.
ReplyDeleteYou make me proud to be a Mom. I miss you. Let us know when you are well enough for visitors so we can come up and hear your sweet laugh again.
Thanks for being You.