When there is no miracle...

So, what if I would have died?  What about those of you who have had children or loved ones who have died?  

Why does God bless some with miracles and not others?

Perhaps I'm not the one to answer these questions... I'm not the one with all the answers, I'm certainly one with many questions.

My opinion is this-- there are ALWAYS miracles.  Always.  We just need eyes to SEE and proper perspective.  My religion and an understanding of the great plan of happiness, helps me keep proper perspective.  

Our church sends missionaries all across the world teaching this plan- because when you understand the plan of salvation then you can feel loved amidst your trials on Earth.

Death is not a sign that God abandoned you.  Sometimes death is the miracle.

 I have a friend who spent some time in Africa with children dying of Aids.  She said she has never been in a more holy room.  She said she could feel angels surrounding these sweet babies as they passed.  I had never heard that before, but I have always imagined it to be true.

I remember hearing the tragic story of some young children playing hide and seek who suffocated in the trunk of a car.  At their funeral, an apostle said these girls were held in the arms of a loving Savior and all their fear and pain had been washed away.

Perhaps my religion is just a mental bandaid helping me to make peace with all the tragedy in the world.  If that is true, I would still believe, because feeling peace amidst tragedy is more helpful than feeling angst.

But, I just know these miracles are real.  I've felt them.  I've seen them in my life and in the lives of those I love.

I wish I could tell you all the close friends I know who have struggled with major life tragedies.  

My sister-in-law had cancer young, twice.  Then they gave birth to an angel baby born without a skull.  He lived only a few hours.  Both trials were physically and mentally really, really hard.  And both trials were made beautiful with God's tender mercies.  The miracles are ALWAYS there if you look for them.

One of my favorite prayers as I live out this trial of mine is, "Bless me with eyes to see your hand in my life."

I have close friends who have been raped.  I know beautiful, good women whose husbands had an affair, many affairs, who are addicted to porn.  I know many who struggle with cancer, some who live and some who die.  I have friends raising children with mild or severe disabilities and friends caring for mentally or physically ill parents.

You know these people too!  We ALL have a story.  Life is about learning and growing and finding happiness along the way.

Many I know have been physically, sexually, or mentally abused.  I have friends whose baby died of SIDS, or who have had miscarriages.  There are many who struggle with infertility, drug addictions, who want to marry and raise a family and do not have that opportunity.  So many parents struggle with children who struggle.  There are so many financial worries.  

Oh how my heart aches for those of you I know or know of or don't know, who have lost children.  Children die.  It is so, so sad-- but still laced with tender mercies and miracles.

My bishop had a five year old daughter who died after she hurt herself doing a somersault on the trampoline during a family night with her whole family sitting on the trampoline around her.  As they returned home from the hospital, each member of the family found a hidden love note written by that little girl the day she died.  That, is a tender mercy.

My dear friend had a 18 year old, beautiful, talented, good sister who was diagnosed with lung cancer.  A pharmacist mis-filled her morphine drip giving her a lethal dose of medicine.  Despite many prayers, blessings, and fasting, this young girl died.  The peace and healing for her family came moment by moment, and continues as the years pass.

Death, sickness, pain, etc., these are all hard trials.  God does not take away our pain-- but He does bless us as we endure.  

I'm sure many who are wiser than me would attest to what I'm saying-- yes, life sucks sometimes.  The sun always shines through the storm!!  You can see the sun rays through the clouds, if you look.  And at the end, don't ever forget to look up and see the rainbow!!

Even though I LIVED, my life is hard.  I did get many amazing miracles!! But, there are many miracles that I didn't get.  I didn't get an easy pregnancy.  I didn't get an easy delivery.  God let me get as close to dying as I could get and then saved me.  I KNOW that He is with us always, especially as He lets us suffer and grow.

Dear friends, i know that so much of life is happy, good and pain-free.  I'm getting back to that place.  But today, my soul aches for those of you who are right here in the middle.  And even as I ache for your struggle, I'm so excited for you!!  

God is with us!! It is beautiful to see His hand and know again and again that you are loved and that you are not alone.  In those darkest moments, He is there.  Please, please SEE Him.  Open your heart to His peace amidst the storm.

Don't you love the story of Christ walking on water?  When Peter walks towards Christ, he is fine.  When Peter looks at the waves around he starts to sink and Christ immediately saves him.  

Don't look at the waves around you, look towards the Savior and you will be able to walk a few more steps each day.  As you are sinking, take His outstretched hand and He will save you.  He saves us all.

Another story I love comes from Mormon pioneer history.

One of the best-known and best-loved stories of the Mormon pioneers is the testimony of Francis Webster, a member of the Martin Hand- cart Company. Although his name has increasingly become associated with his statement, he is still better known as the unnamed old man in the corner of a Sunday School class who arose to silence criticism directed toward those who allowed that company to come west:

I ask you to stop this criticism. You are discussing a matter you know nothing about. Cold historic facts mean nothing here for they give no proper interpretation of the questions involved. Mistake to send the Hand Cart Company out so late in the season? Yes. But I was in that Company and my wife was in it. . . . I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the Angels of God were there.

Was I sorry that I chose to come by hand cart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Hand Cart Company. 

All of us who have passed through major trials and have seen God's hand in our lives would agree.  It was hard, but it was a privilege to pass through.  

If you are drowning or dark with trials, today I'm praying that you will feel His light.  I love you- and He loves you more.

There are ALWAYS miracles.

Trials are hard, sometimes really, really hard, but they are good and good for us.

We are becoming!!

Life is a gift, life experiences are gifts...

And, my friends-- life is good!!