First Ski.

We have winter break here in Central New York.  My sister in law brought her kids and her sister in law to visit.

Yesterday, we took the six oldest up to the ski resort about five minutes from my house for their first attempt at skiing.

It was so funny to watch them in their lesson.

They rocked the bunny hill.  :)

The girls didn't pick it up as well as the boys did, but they all had fun.

I love this sweet ski slope.  It's big, but not posh.  Honestly, it is 5 minutes from my house.  So fun!

My favorite was hearing how Jakob was standing near the ski lift when he saw his 6'1", 140 lb. cousin heading straight for him.  (Eli said it was after lunch and he had forgotten how to stop.)  Jakob says Eli just smashed into this pretty blond girl, (their age) who was talking to her friend.  They rolled together over the rope fence. Eli was so embarrassed and apologetic he said he didn't even know what the girl looked like.  Haha.  

When I was younger, my grandma would save all year (she was not wealthy) to rent a townhouse in Camelback, PA for all of us cousins to ski for a week.  I have so many great memories from those trips.  It's so fun watching my kids learn with their cousins.

(Ellie is certain she broke her collarbone and Anna things she sprained her thigh.  Anna cried- "I fall every time and everyone else was perfect!"  Day one!)

I met with a surgeon today from Rochester (about an hour and a half from my house).  He is a wise, experienced surgeon.  He said he has never seen a case like mine, although he has a lot of experience with difficult cases.  Sigh.  I'm pretty sure he will do my surgery on March 20.  

He gave me a very real long-term prognosis that scares me.  Having babies has always been something hard that I did and then healed from.  

This time, I will never be the same.  

It is easy to see my life like Anna, "It's not fair, I keep falling and everyone else is perfect." But, I am older and wiser.  ;)  I know everyone has bumps and bruises.  Either we're falling on the bunny hill, or we're wiping out on black diamonds.  Life is school and we are all learning.

I'm grateful for my health trials.  Grateful for the lessons I'm learning about enduring and pain and hope.

I can do this.  I will spend this afternoon erasing my "just one more surgery" mindset.  

Weeks ago I was afraid and overwhelmed, I felt like my whole life was on hold until I could figure out how to heal.  I had the distinct impression come to my mind a few times saying, "Jen, you are not that sick.  You're not that sick."

Loving words of hope from an omnipotent Father.

These surgeries and procedures, they're just speed bumps.  They are gifts- because I am alive to need them!!  My baby boy is alive!!  I'm not well- but I'm not dead either.  

Yesterday, I was there at the ski slope watching my big kids trip over themselves and slowly glide backwards down the hill.  Next year, I'll be able to ski with them.  Because I am alive!!  

I can handle another damn cystoscopy.

Bring it on doc- I've got this.

I am a mother.  ;).  Just sayin.

I used to be afraid of IVs.

Today, IVs aren't so bad.

Life is good, even with a few bumps and bruises.

Life is worth the hard.