One of my special needs students was in a wheelchair. He had severe physical disabilities and expressed himself slowly and with great effort. The chasm between the ability of his physical body and the depth of his spirit was great.
During one lesson he asked me about Christ. After sometime of him asking and me trying to understand his question, I was able to vocalize for him. He wanted to know why Christ had to suffer. Why was "suffering" a part of God's plan at all? Why did the 'atonement' require pain?
I answered him then. I'm certain my answer was a bit patronizing to this child who was years and years my spiritual senior. His question has followed me and become my own.
I still don't know everything, but I do KNOW.
Suffering is holy. Suffering for the life of one you love, is sanctifying. Suffering teaches humility and empathy. Suffering shows you your strength and ability.
I believe in Christ.
I believe suffering groomed His soul so He loves deeply and perfectly.
I believe He gave up His life for us and that He was resurrected.
Honestly, it is not His victory over death that marvels me today. I am in awe of His victory over pain and suffering.
His ability to love, his ability to transcend self.
My own suffering was mild.
I wish I could go back to that sacred space years ago. I wish I could hold my brother's shaking, crippled hands one more time, wipe the drool from his chin, and look deep into his soulful eyes.
I would tell him he is known, he is loved. That God blesses his children with opportunities to suffer because He knows what we can become. God knows that we WANT to be better, and He knows the path to better requires overcoming obstacles.
Christ suffered so He could love purely and understand. Suffering was required because suffering transforms selfish into holy.
I believe that every holy man or woman has had a cross to bear.
We are here in the "muddled mortal middle". This is initiation, this is not the end.
Happy Easter friends!
How I hope the feeling of rebirth seeps deep into your soul.
Today, I'm grateful for holy scars and sacraments.
There is more to this life than life itself.
Bask in His love! Keep looking up!
Life is good.
I really love this post. I got hit with an awful stomach bug this week(I know boo hoo compared to what many are dealing with) and it brought back a lot of pregnancy memories since I dealt with nausea and vomiting for the entirety of my pregnancies with our 2 girls. We have 3 children and I was student teaching seminary at Pleasant Grove High School and teaching special needs seminary at Mountain View HS when I got pregnant(and was sick) and with our son. I also taught a year of seminary at Dan Peterson School to children with more severe special needs. I loved teaching those amazing children and they taught me much! I thought as I was sick, haven't I thrown up enough in my days, and then I looked at a picture of our 3 kids --I always wanted 7 and instead of thinking I wish I could have more my heart was filled with gratitude to have my 3 and amazed that I survived those pregnancies and can be alive to raise my kids today. I think Heavenly Father needed me to suffer a bit this week and so I could have more gratitude for my little family and also more empathy towards others in my life that are also suffering. I am not the most pleasant sick person to say the least but I do feel that I am able to relate and love and serve others because of some of the trials I've been through. Such a beautiful post! I have prayed for you much and am so amazed at your ability to survive and become better through your trials. You are truly becoming more Christlike! Wishing you strength!
ReplyDelete