September 21, 2008

pure joy...

I LOVE newborns... this is magnified by the fact that having a newborn means that I am no longer pregnant-- and I LOVE not being pregnant. My life feels like sunshine... i LOVE my kids, i LOVE my house, i LOVE my husband and i feel so blessed. yesterday i read in the bible of other joy-filled mothers... and my heart echoed theirs- Mary said, "For he that is mighty hath done to me great things..." (Luke 1:49) Elisabeth said, "Whereby the dayspring (dawn) from on high hath visited us." (Luke 1:79) Hannah said, "For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord." (1 Sam 1:27-28) In Psalms is perhaps my FAVORITE momma scripture, "He maketh the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord." (Psalms 113:9) And, "The Lord shall increase you more and more, you and your children." (Psalms 115:14) Yesterday in my journal I wrote... As I hold creation in my arms I marvel at the details. Tiny fingernails, perfect lips, puffs of breath and a deep sigh. Eyes rolling open, a concentrated focus, a contented smile, back to peaceful sleepy breaths. Squeaks, stretches, searching sucks- just a moment of knowing as our eyes meet and our souls see. Then a quick reflexive wiggle, a furrowed brow and a tiny whine. I lift and pat and rejoice over a magical burp. We spoke our first understandings. You spoke and I understood. Mouth open wide, searching for me with impatient panting. I gasp gently with the first sucks, but joy over the squeaky swallows and drips of milk seeping out the edges of a busy mouth. I am enough. God and I created this miracle and God and I can nourish and protect you. Once again in complete limp slumber. Belly round and full, gurgling with digestion. Eyes rolling, dreamy smiles. Mine, yet borrowed. A sweet gift of trust from the divine. So small and helpless, yet so wise and inspiring. I remember eternal covenants and vow once again to listen and provide. I am humbled and overflowing with gratitude. I imagine I can still smell Heaven on your breath. Puffs of breath, in and out, joy and peace filling my arms and our lives. Perfect fingers, perfect lips, creation's miracle.

5 comments:

  1. Jen,
    You really touched my heart with this!! it is so true and so neat to hear it from someone else.
    I love your family and we are so grateful that little Lily is part of our family as well.
    Love you all!!

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  2. Todd & Jen,
    We're so happy for you! We are so glad that everything turned out okay for you. It sure is crazy and scary having a baby in the NICU, let alone two! It was a little emotional seeing the NICU pictures with the nurses and all, brought back too many memories for me. Your prayers have been answered. It is so nice to know that Heavenly Father knows our every need and gives the trials that helps us become stronger. Hope everything continues to go well. Enjoy her, because as you know to well, they grow way to fast. Michigan Hugs!

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  3. Such a pretty baby ... happy to hear everything has turned out great! I can't get over all her DARK hair!

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  4. thanks for sharing that--it was a beautiful reminder!!
    love ya!

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  5. That was beautiful. You've always had a perfect way with words, but this was quite stirring.
    I'm glad Lily's home and everyone is doing well. You are such a great mom and the BEST with babies!
    Congrats and Enjoy!
    xoxooxox
    love

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