May 21, 2015

Choosing Good

I just bought new white sheets from Home Goods.  They are freshly washed and perfectly inviting to slide into at night.      Don't you love clean sheets?  

I miss the Professor most at night.  One of the hardest things about the months I spent in the hospital was not having him beside me at night.  I have often felt that this world would be Heavenly if every person went to bed at night feeling as loved as I do.  Man, marriage is the best!

It is interesting that I am so in love with this guy (he is completely on favor of my new 'make love not war' campaign by the way), and that we are still trying to figure out our rhythm together.

Good marriages take work.

When I was sick and recovering, I was surprised to feel that FAITH was a CHOICE not a feeling.  If I searched my soul to see what I felt, I would find fear, doubt, anger, selfishness, mixed with hope, faith, bravery, optimism.  I felt both.  I had to choose what feelings I talked about or focused on.  

My feelings fear and anger were so strong they could have killed me if I turned towards them.  I did not.  I kept my face towards the sun/Son.  

I had strong faith because I chose to believe that a God loved me.  I chose to focus on the miracles not the mistakes.  I chose to be positive.

And, as I chose faith in little ways each day, my faith was strengthened.  Choosing faith helped me to feel faithful.  Choosing to believe that God loved me and was blessing me, helped me to SEE that I was loved and blessed.  It was so cool.

 Love in marriage is just like that.  It is a choice.  Opening my heart to my husband is a choice I make daily.  I'm not sure why the tides of life naturally pull us apart.  We drift to our individual lives and we have to swim back together.

Physical and emotional unity is so important in marriage.  We don't just naturally feel love.  It might feel natural, but love is a direct result of choice.  We choose to see the good in our spouse.  We choose to trust him with our bodies and our imperfections.  We choose to speak positively of each other.  We choose to remind ourselves that we are loved, that imperfection is normal.  

I have been married almost 18 years.  I am desperately in love and I really like my husband... And I still have to choose to turn towards him not away from him.  Love is a choice.  

It worries me, in this day and age, that so many people focus on how they feel.  So many people search their innermost thoughts and feelings to define who they are.  People today think happiness comes from indulging every thought, fantasy, or feeling they have.  No!

God has shown us the path to happiness.  Often we are happiest when we do the exact opposite of what we feel.  

Satan wants to destroy our happiness.  He wants to destroy the best of marriages and pull down the strongest of men.  He can whisper to your mind and he can mess with your emotions, BUT HE CANNOT TAKE AWAY YOUR AGENCY.

Oh friends-- let us choose faith.  Let's choose to love.  Let's pull our bodies and our minds towards our spouses and our God.  Let's first choose to look for the good in our spouse, then choose to speak of the good in our spouse.  Let's choose loving actions and feel how loving feelings follow (not precede) loving acts.

The prophet Lehi tells us: “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”2

Brethren, within the confines of whatever circumstances we find ourselves, we will always have theright to choose.

Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed—the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. Decisions dodetermine destiny.

There is a prophet of God who agrees with me!  You can read His words here...

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/the-three-rs-of-choice?lang=eng

Choose faith.

Choose love.

Choose family first.

You will FEEL the swelling of goodness that is the RESULT not the CATALYST of choice.  

At night, when your babies are sick and needy, you will FEEL tired and cranky and angry and selfish.  As you go towards them and CHOOSE loving actions, you will feel their need, you will feel their purity, your body will respond to their little fingers, warm brow, and innocence.  As you choose to serve, THEN your soul will fill with love.  It is a physical reaction that all lactating mothers can testify of.  We are literally filled with love as we choose to turn towards them not away from them.

Enjoy your day friend!

Love those you love!

Life is good if you choose to focus on all that is good.

I know it.

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