monday morning.

on Saturday Night, i was reminded of this scripture...

Counsel with the Lord in all thy doing, and he will direct thee for good;  yeah, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.  Alma 37:37

so, monday morning, i woke up and laid there.
letting my heart be full of thanks unto God.
i thought of my blessings...
my darling husband, who is in Oklahoma, interviewing for a job.
my sweet children...

anna, who was sobbing on Saturday while she listened to the song "Puff the Magic Dragon."
(remember, Jackie Paper comes no more so Puff the Magic Dragon lays down his mighty head...)
leah, hugging anna tightly, with sympathy tears of her own.

ellie, crying on the trampoline, sure she broke her head and her leg, she'll never walk again.
leah, who is crying that ellie is "going to be dead."
when ellie eventually rises, leah comes in with pure excitement...
"Mom, remember when Jesus helped the little girl to rise up?  It was a "magical" just like Ellie."
And over and over, "Ellie, you just had a magical from Jesus."  (magical = miracle)

ellie, who sits right on me while we watch Extreme Home Makeover.  who has tears in her eyes at bedtime cause she "misses daddy."  who has to scoop poop out of the bathtub because she wanted to "give lily a bath" last night.  ellie who asks, "mom, sometimes don't you just WANT to wear immodest clothes.  i know you won't, but don't you just want to sometimes?"  sweet ellie.

lily, who said over and over "i love MOMMY!" while i was changing her diaper last night.
and how she had a piece of bread and kept coming into the family room with it.
i would remind her, "Lily, we eat food in the kitchen."
she would smile and say, "OHH!" and run back to the kitchen... just like it was the first time i had ever told her that rule...  20 times.

my sweet big boys... how drew is so funny teasey... singing quietly, "Ellie has pink panties on with white on top..." over and over until she screams.  How when i tell him to stop, he comes over and hugs me while he sweetly apologizes and it always works.  i love that little stink.  and, i remember how on Saturday morning, when jakob was complaining about vacuuming the house, drew just got out the vacuum and did jakob's job for him.  just because.

and how jakob "made dinner" on Sunday night... toasted rye bread tuna sandwiches and edamame.  how at church he begs to hold lily and how lily cries "i want mommy" when i try to pass her over.  then, every few seconds, he whispers to lily, "you want jake lily, you want jake,"  with his cute smile at me, knowing it's not going to happen, because lily is as big of a stink as he is.  and, we both love her for it.

i think of my growing bump, sure i can feel the swirls of movement.  so grateful for the many "magicals" i have been given.

i have much to be grateful for.

and i pray, before i get out of bed, that i can do just one thing for each of my blessings.
i pray for wisdom and patience and energy to serve.
and i remember days i have spent so focused on me that i have missed the bounty that surrounds me.
i remember wise counsel, "Forget yourself and go to work."
and i recommit.
to love more, to serve more, to teach more, to order, to clean, to protect.
i pray that He will use me.
i pray that He will consecrate my efforts.
and, i run to wake up the gang, to gather for scriptures, to join in family prayer via speaker phone, to pour cereal and juice and cut apple slices, to find shoes and socks and hair bands, to encourage teeth brushing and send them out the the door with a kiss and a healthy snack.
i smile at my neighbor running out to turn on his car in his boxers, blue socks and flip flops...
and, monday is great.
and, i LOVE my job.
and, i'm going to miss this someday.
life is good.
today, i am filled with joy.

(which is good, because i definitely have a monday morning house... and it ain't pretty.)