i checked out this book, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, from the library.
ina may is probably the most famous American midwife.
this book is very well-referenced among natural, home birth type people.
i do not include myself in this category...
having had 6 hospital epidural inductions 2 of which resulted in emergency c-sections.
i was kicked out of a midwife's office with my FIRST pregnancy- they panicked after my first blood test.yes- midwives do panic.
back to the book.
the first half is a compilation of birth stories of people who birthed their babies with Ina May on "The Farm".
to me, the farm sounds a bit like a 70's hippy compound.
intriguing, a bit "free spirit, no bra" sexual, and not something that many of us have an opportunity to experience.
i'm a bit addicted to birth stories lately... on the Internet, you tube, or in books, i really enjoy reading about other women's journey to bring forth their children.
i love hearing how they face their fears, how they deal with intense pain, how they feel when their babies are born.
i love the commonality that i see... birth is really not that different among cultures and woman.
i love reading how doctors and midwives react to labors that start and stop, babies who get stuck or turned, woman who are freaking out...
i even love hearing the advice of my friends... "natural birth is way over-rated, it's the worst pain you will ever experience, my throat hurt from screaming, you do feel amazing when it's over." of "you can do it, it's not that bad."
personally, i am so curious how i handle intense pain/pressure.
i believe the hypnobabies idea of putting yourself into a hypnotic state is naturally what i do...
i tend to zone out and remain calm in everyday stress... i'm more a zoner than a freaker.
but, i'm curious. and, i'm also intellectual. i'm not sure that i would be able to experience extreme "pain" and continue to tell myself that "labor doesn't hurt."
i LOVE the second half of Ina May's book.
i LOVE it.
I'm making my husband read it, and gifting it to all my girls when they are expecting...
(note- i'm not having the professor read the beginning accounts of birth stories...)
Ina May is not a trained doctor-- but, she has attended and birthed hundreds of babies. She has the natural gift of intuition in labor. Her ability to help women deliver babies naturally is astounding. In the 2nd section of the book, she really explores the history of birthing babies and why we do some of the things that we do.
Ina May said some people describe birth as pushing an orange through a nostril.
She disputes this claim... a nostril was not designed to push an orange out of it.
Ina describes the amazing design of a woman's body-- how we are designed to contract and open and birth babies. It is part of our design... our body opens and our baby can come out.
I also love how she reminds woman that labor pressure does not "hurt" us. The pressure transforms our body to deliver our baby. It is temporary and useful. It doesn't cause us injury, it helps us birth our baby... and then it goes away leaving us filled with adrenaline and oxytocin.
during my first pregnancy, there was a girl that i knew from church who was a nursing student. she was so excited that she was going to be able to watch my labor. it was uncomfortable for me... i didn't want her in the room with my husband and i the whole time, but i didn't feel like i had any choice.
i'm not sure that i could have pooped in front of that girl-- but i performed a far more soul and body showing event of life in front of her.
Often, Ina compares birth to sexual intercourse. She explains how your attitude during the process can add to your pain-- some woman feel extreme pain putting in tampons, some tampons hurt more than others, some sexual encounters are pleasurable, some are not... what changes is not necessarily a women's ability to perform, or her bodies ability, or the size of the object inside you, but the preparation and mental attitude surrounding the circumstances. i'm certain that i would have some performance anxiety if i was asked to have sex with my husband in a hospital room surrounded by nurses and doctors and interested students... not sure it would be the most relaxed, positive experience of my life. {although we have had practice "relaxing" while children were knocking on our locked bedroom door.} And i propose that intercourse isn't even as intimate, exposing or sacred as child birth can be. i asked the professor how he would feel. what if they asked him to poop in a bowl in front of a group of student doctors? i think he understood how it might be a bit more difficult to relax. interesting. isn't it?! see- i told you i'm starting to understand home births. {understand, as in, "i see" not "i could choose"} Really, i'm not particulary modest when it comes to childbirthing... i've never had an issue with a male doctor or even doctors that i know in a personal setting. I guess, after reading her book, i can see how constant monitoring, people coming in and out that you don't know or like, and even a hospital setting, can really make it more difficult to remain calm and relaxed and allow your body to do what it was designed to do. It makes sense.
as i've birthed my babies, i've heard women in other rooms who were SCREAMING.
i don't think i'm a screamer.
but, i imagine there is a point, under prolonged intense pain, that anyone would loose control. i get that.
i'm curious if i could experience a normal, natural labor and remain in control.
i'm curious what it would take to bring me back if i started to loose it.
i'm interested what would push me over the brink...
i THINK i could handle the pressure of contractions IF everything was going well.
for me, my biggest obstacle is going to be intense pain with NO progression.
my greatest worry is that i need pitocin to dilate.
i'm concerned that i will never go into labor on my own.
i'm concerned that if i let myself wait to go into labor, i'm going to birth a 12 lb. baby
(my mother had 2, my mother in law had boys over 10 lbs-- they did it, i could too.)
i'm not worried about pushing- i'm good at that.
i'm not worried about an emergency- hospitals are the best at emergency situations.
i'm worried about a labor that comes and goes and lasts for 4 days instead of 12 hours.
that's ok on the FARM.
but, i can't go for a walk in the woods once i'm checked into the hospital.
i'm so interested to experience the birth of this baby.
i have loved this pregnancy- transfusion FREE!!
i'm really getting that baby itch.
having had 6 children- i believe much of the FEAR of childbirth is replaced with an understanding of the JOY.
i know i can do this, whatever happens, and I AM EXCITED!
Many of you are pregnant, or will someday be pregnant...
i highly recommend this book... especially the 2nd half.
remember- i'm getting weirder so i enjoyed all of it.
good book.
interesting read.
i'm learning, but still very grounded.
no need to reassure me!!
i have LOVED my epidural births.
I don't think c-sections are the end of the world... i am SO GRATEFUL for hospitals and doctors that have saved my life and saved the life of my babies.
People say, "As long as my baby is healthy."
And, i can't even say that.
i have known and loved many families whose babies weren't "healthy", and although the experience was difficult, it was beautiful and perfect.
life is good.
pregnancy and birth is EDIFYING and MIRACULOUS.
i'm SO excited to meet this new baby!!
only 10 weeks left. maybe...
thanks for the insight ina may!
ps.
i LOVE little kids with hiccups.
so cute.
especially when you tell them to stop... or when they try to make another hiccup come.
darling.
i also LOVE little girls with ballet costumes on over their clothes.
so they can dance... all day.
love it.
My last baby was natural thanks to my anesthesiaologist not showing up (I waited for 2, TWO hours!!) and it was...extremely painful obviously but I definitely felt sorta of proud of myself. I have wondered what it would have been like had I been prepared for a natural birth. And yes I LOVE hospitals but they can be stressful especially when enduring so much pain. Sounds like an interesting book.
ReplyDeleteJen--
ReplyDeleteI read this book when expecting my #1... love. I too love those beautiful insights into birth.
Also, may I say - I loved your post about the parenting article. I have read several comments several places about that article, but loved your "editorial" on it. I am so glad to know you. You are quite a girl. Luff you!
you are gettting weirder- as made evident by the nasty statue pictureyou posted. what the heck! No more weird books for you- of any sort ;)
ReplyDeletebut - alas, i still find compelled to read your posts day after day and , alas, i find your friendship addicting.
here is a secret. i kinda want to watch you give birth this time. I am only a little kidding. IF you go natural and even if you don't i bet it will be beautiful! Promise metat you will hold yourself open like that statue- please. it just looks so --natural---so right.
nichols family- i know!! i've watched and read many 'natural' birth stories... women endure much. but, i kinda want to EXPERIENCE birth, not just endure it. i want to be prepared so that i can surf the waves not drown in them... we'll see!!
ReplyDeleteamy- i flipped over to your blog and it looks like you just smiled out your own little baby-- at least from the pictures it looks quite perfect... feel free to pass on all your birthing wisdom!
hah! rachel- that was my favorite picture in the whole book. i'm seriously going to use that mental image while i'm in labor-- i love it. yup. weird.
and, you're all welcome in my birthing room. ;) better yet, just come over and todd and i will practice ignoring you while we make out!!
I was about 35 weeks along when I read Ina May's book during my first pregnancy. I also read "The Birth Partner" and made my hubby read parts of both. These two books made me want a med-free delivery and made me BELIEVE I could do it!
ReplyDeleteAnd I did it. Med-free. And it was amazing! The whole birth story is here on my blog...
http://onthebanksofsquawcreek.blogspot.com/2010/11/pregnant-party-5-my-birth-story.html
And, by the way, I was sooo focused on the delivery, I didn't even notice when I pooped on the table. :)
ReplyDeletekatie-
ReplyDeletei read your birth story and it seemed perfect... not too long, not too short- miraculous and beautiful. i'm hoping i have a similar story to tell... we'll see! thanks for sharing
(This is going to be a 2-part comment. Sorry.)
ReplyDeleteJen, I love you. You know I do. So bear with me while I address a couple of your statements. I loved most of your post, btw, and I LOVE that you read that book. Ina May is AMAZING!!! And that statue was one of my favorite pictures from the book as well. I love that you're learning more about birth and pregnancy. It's one of my favorite subjects and I've done the same as you, pouring over birth stories and birth books, etc. I love it! And good for you for doing it because MOST women don't have a clue about birth, even if they've given birth 10 times. It's, unfortunately, knowledge that used to be common among women, but has been taken from us in this culture over the years.
I believe most women who say, "Natural birth is way over-rated, it's the worst pain you will ever experience, my throat hurt from screaming," etc. are women who were unprepared for a natural birth. OR they had birth attendants who were unprepared to help them through birth. I say that because after delivering 2 babies naturally, I was still in MUCH more pain when I went into the hospital, begging for an epidural, with my first 2 babies. (And I was only dilated to a 5 with both of them when I got to the hospital.) Why is this? Because I was UNPREPARED. I had no idea how to breathe and relax through the contractions. So I tensed up and held my breath and made the pain 10 million times worse. THAT is why women think childbirth is painful above all else.
Now I'm not going so far as to say my last 2 births weren't painful at all. They were painful, right at the end. But it wasn't the worse pain I've had in my life. It was INTENSE. That is a much better word to describe transition. It's just very intense because your body takes over and you can't do a dang thing about it and that's a feeling that none of us are really used to.
I also want to give you another perspective on the screaming, because I didn't think I'd be a screamer either, but I was with my first natural birth. BUT I wasn't screaming because I was in pain. I was screaming because of the intensity of the situation and because it was the ONLY thing I had control over AND because it felt good. That's right....it felt GOOD to scream. So I did it. With my last baby, it was more yelling than screaming, which I actually think helps labor along more than screaming. The lower, more guttural the sound you can make, the better.
How much have you read about hypnobabies? Because it doesn't sound like you totally understand it. I would recommend the book by Marie Mongan called, "Hypnobirthing." It's not about "telling yourself that labor doesn't hurt," it's about relaxing through the contractions, which makes them not hurt. It's not about tricking yourself, it's about having the tools in your mind so that you can respond to the contractions in a helpful way.
ReplyDeleteIt was also very telling to me that you said, "Ina May is not a trained doctor-- but," .....as if a "trained doctor" has something that she doesn't. The only thing a doctor can do that she can't is perform a cesarian. But I believe there are MANY more things that she can do that MOST doctors can't. Because she's been with hundreds of women from the beginning of labor through the end and beyond. How many doctors can say that? Doctors are NOT trained in normal childbirth these days, unless they seek out that training specifically. (It does sound like you got a good one, btw, which is awesome!) They are trained in medical and surgical birth. And thank heavens they know what they are doing when such skills are needed. But I don't believe they are needed in MOST births. Our c-section rate is atrocious and it would be MUCH lower if skilled midwives attended all normal pregnancies and births.
I know you didn't mean any offense by this, but I had to respond to your "don't worry, I'm grounded" comment about epidurals and doctors. I don't consider myself "up in the clouds" for going with a midwife or having a homebirth. It was actually one of the most sane decisions I've ever made. Now, I understand homebirths are not for everyone, and I'd never suggest they are. But those of us that choose them aren't "crazy" and we don't have our heads in the clouds. I think you know that, but I've just dealt with the stigma a lot. Also, when you chose to have an epidural, did you really know all the risks? Because when I got mine, I was never informed of the risks. Same with being induced....did your doctors ever tell you ALL the risks involved with an induction? Did they tell you with your first baby that your odds of "needing" a cesarian would be 50%? Apparently you were lucky on that one, but this is one of my biggest beefs with doctors/hospitals. Informed consent is a joke. They only give you PART of the information. And it is usually the part that leads to an easier job for them. (Not in all cases, but in most I've seen.)
Also, one thing I wanted to mention, is that when you're at the end of labor, close to delivery, that's when you need to let go and let your body take over....so it feels like you're "losing it." That's NOT a bad thing. There are very few women who can "be in control" the entire time. A lot of time when women try, it stalls progression. Just wanted to warn you about that. And also suggest that once you are in labor, you wait as long as possible to go to the hospital. Because once you're there, the harder it is to labor the way you want. And the longer you're there, the harder it is to give birth intervention-free.
You CAN do this, Jen! Your body KNOWS what it is doing. You just have to trust it. There are some great fear-releasing scripts in the Hypnobabies program that would probably be great for you to listen to. Sorry for the novel.
I read Ina May's book during my 2nd pregnancy. My first was an emergency c-section, and I hoped to have a VBAC for the second. I had midwives for both births. I was induced with my first, but went into labor naturally with my second. I labored at home (in my bathtub), with the help of relation scripts, visualization and deep breathing. I had to learn to trust my body, and went to the hospital when I knew I needed to. I was dilated to an 8 when we arrived and was able to deliver my baby med-free within a couple hours. It was "intense", pushing was hard for me, but it was empowering to feel and experience everything. Birth is an amazing thing. You can have the birth you believe you can. Our thoughts are powerful in shaping our reality. I wish you the best for the birth of your new little girl.
ReplyDeleteann- sorry that i have offended you with this post. what is "grounded" for me, with my medical history, obviously isn't the right answer for everyone. i never meant to insinuate that you had your head up in the clouds... i wasn't talking about you at all. i was just rambling about my current birth options.
ReplyDeletesimilarly, when i said Ina May wasn't a trained doctor i was not saying that as an insult-- just a description. Actually, I believe she is better trained than most doctors. I love that her training didn't come from a medical university.
i know that i am ignorant about natural birth. i know that i have fears and that there is much that i don't understand. when i talked about the girls screaming in the other rooms, i wasn't talking about controlled grunting-- i was talking about panic. honestly, i think i will be able to go natural if i can control myself, as impossible as this may be. If, I panic and let fear make me crazy, i believe my husband and my doctor will encourage me to get medication. So, it's something that i think about when i'm rambling.
i have read MANY natural child birth websites. There is much that i have learned and that i agree with. I don't agree with their "FEAR" tactics and I don't agree with the idea that doctors and hospitals are not trying to do what is best for a baby and it's mother. I have given birth to 6 children in a hospital and I am in awe of OB's who daily place themselves in risk of intense litigation to bring children into the world. They do not have schedules that are easy or family friendly. And, i have never felt tricked into an epidural or that my doctor rushed me into surgery so that he could get home for dinner.
I love to read your advice and opinions. I love them, because you are a researcher and a wise woman. I do not believe there is one RIGHT way. I don't believe you are wrong when you are different from me. And, I don't believe I am wrong when I am different from you.
For some reason, God keeps me warm. I tend to go hot and cold quickly, and He leads me right in the middle. My favorite people are hot and cold type people. Forgive me if I have offended you.
Thanks for clearing a few of those things up, Jen. I really wasn't "offended," it's just a gut-reaction sometimes because of the stereotype I've had to deal with.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to know you don't think I'm wrong for choosing a midwife or having a homebirth. Just like I don't think you are wrong for going to a doctor you trust and delivering at a hospital. In fact, I'm so happy that you found a doctor that is willing (and supportive) to do VBACs, since that is rare.
I understand what you're talking about with the "fear tactics" on some natural birth websites. I hate fear tactics. But the truth of the matter is that our current state of maternal/fetal healthcare is in crisis. There is much blame to go around, but that doesn't really get us anywhere. Following evidence-based science/medicine is what is going to get us headed in the right direction. This is going to take a long time, though. Because there are a number of doctors who would rather follow the path of least resistance than change the way they do things. And I don't believe, either, that they hold any mal-intention toward women or their babies. I believe they absolutely think that what they're doing is the right thing to do. Unfortunately, evidence shows that in a lot of cases, it is not. (I'm talking about a broad number of things here, so using fairly blanket statements....I know that there are many doctors who follow the evidence and science and are supportive of changing the direction of maternity care in our country).
I think you are a very wise woman as well and I have loved learning new things from your posts. I thoroughly enjoyed this post on Ina May and I mostly just wanted to give you a different perspective on a couple of things. My intent was not to tell you you were wrong, but to maybe show you a different side of things (like with the screaming....I'm sure I sounded like a banshee with my 4th baby).
I hope that I didn't offend you with my comments because that was certainly not my intent. I'm sorry if I did.