ten days...

it turns out, my sister isn't going to the middle east after all. she's going back to VA, staying in the reserves, and going to school. i think. justin is flying home in 10 days. and, i'm sad. i'm so excited for him, and for my sister, but... i'm so sad. i'm surprised how sad i am to send him home. i'm glad that he'll be with his mom. little kids need their mom. i never tried to replace her. she's a very good mom. but, somehow he wiggled himself into my heart and it hurts to send him back. she was going to drive out here to get him. i would have LOVED that. somehow, watching him with her would have given me a sweet closure that sticking him on a plane isn't going to give. i know it must have been hard for her to send him to me. very hard. and, i'm grateful that she shared him with our family for these past few months. Thanks Patti. Justin, he's adorable. Yeah, he's a stink sometimes. He's dramatic and funny, but he tries hard and has wiggled into our full life and made a spot for himself. Jakob said, "I think I'm going to miss everything about him." I agree. I keep telling him that Todd and I will be his aunt and uncle forever. He'll always have cousins here that love him a whole lot. He can come visit us anytime. He asked me, "Can I come visit for Easter, when you have No Manner's Dinner?" I promised a big No Manner's Dinner before he leaves. Then he asked, "Can I come sledding with you at Christmas time?" Nope, probably not. He cries and I cry. i hate transitions. Tens days is too short. A couple of months was too short. Man, i'm gong to miss this kid. he just came in to tell me he learned how to do a flip on the trampoline. he's in his swimsuit, soaked, because we turned the sprinklers on for them this morning. i watched out the window as he jumped, flipped, and then looked up to see my reaction. Way to go, big guy!! It has been so fun to watch him assimilate into our family this summer. Every activity is new and exciting when seen through Justin's eyes. He came in and said, "Aunt Jen, when i go home and we get a trampoline, i'm going to show my mom and dad how i can do a flip." "that will be so fun!!" i say, and i think... oh, i hope so. i hope so much for this kid and for his family. "How'd you learn how to do that?" i asked. "Um, I just tried." he said. Perfect! In my perfect world, it won't be years before i see Justin again. In my perfect world, my kids will know my sister better and we'll be a part of each other's lives. Sometimes real life doesn't work that way, but all we can do is keep trying. right justin?