August 07, 2009

babies of mine...

i want to tell her to stop.
to stay my sweet, chunky, perfect baby. forever. my heart aches to keep her...
and yet... i love her cute little teefers...
(two teeth is my FAVORITE!)
i still remember when my little brother, Matthew, had only two teeth...
he left the cutest teeth marks in all of his soft blocks.

it's hard not to laugh when lily bites my finger as hard as she can and grimaces.
even though i know it won't be funny much longer.
she's learning attitude.
it's different. but, it's so funny.

she tries to tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants...
and we laugh at her efforts.
but, sometimes she wins-- especially with her siblings who spend the day trying to keep her laughing.
her cry isn't sad, it's sassy and crumple-nosed cute...

lily and leah are funny together...
leah is sweet and maternal,
but she is the only one that will whack lily on top of her head when she steals a toy.

everyone needs one sister who'll do that.
leah and lily,
they really play.
the peek a boo game,
the throw a toy game,
the yell and laugh game,
the bounce up and down and laugh game...
it's a sweet, sister dance that they do.
i know they'll be friends.

the big girls and the big boys play sweet with her too...
it's more the mama and papa in training game...
"say BaBA" they say as she yells at them to giver her bottle back to her...
"say UP... uuuuu PPPP" they say as she jumps forward into their outreached arms...
teasing, teaching, laughing, and play by play commentary...
"that was funny, did you see what lily did? i said say puuuuullleeeez and she said ppppp and threw her fork...
did you see that?"
"MOM!!! She's crawling, she's really crawling!!"
"I know, I saw it first yesterday."
"Uh uh, i just taught her that."
"Well, I taught her how to say UP. Didn't I mom? Lily, say UUUU PPP."
"Come here Lily, crawl to Ellie."
"Lily.... Lily.... want this book?"
Oh the joy a baby brings.

So, I want to keep her small...
but i love to see her grow.
We grow with her.

Is it possible to add to fullness?
My wedding night... my joy was full. I thought.
Having my first perfect baby... my heart was full... it was bursting.
then drew- daring, feeling, independant, experiencing life drew.
and anna- thoughtful, sensitive, orderly, maternal anna.
and ELLIE- adorable and exhausting and full of life, full of joy-Ellie.
and leah- my friend and companion, a smart, gentle soul, an old, younger sister. then baby lily...
Who can describe the fullness that Lily brings?

The stretching that comes with adding makes your fullness bigger.

and so, today i am full.
i want to say-- stop.
keep it here.
life is good.

but i know that tomorrow brings a fullness all it's own.
a new step, a new growth, a new joy.
so, my sweet lily... it's ok.
you can grow.
and all of us, we'll be watching, and cheering, and growing right along with you.

but today. i'm going to cherish every minute of the baby i still have left.
(and the 2 year old and the six year old, and the seven year old, and the nine year old, and the ten year old...) today.
i'll cherish my moments.

1 comment:

Yayi said...

You definitely have a talent here. You are simply awesome at opening your heart and describing what is going on in there.
Thanks for sharing your life with us.

PS I cannot help thinking that your baby is absolutely drop-dead-gorgeous.

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