before the manger.

i saw this picture this morning in the portland temple.
it made my eyes tear up.
i LOVE strong joseph and wondering mary.
i feel their faith and their hope.
i love this season of remembering.
merry christmas!

38.

this guy had a birthday.

have i told you lately how much i love him?

{we like to say, in our house, up to poodle and back.}

why?

oh, ok... i'll tell you.

38.  He's tall, and bigger than me, even when I'm pregnant and my heaviest.  love that.

37.  He does dishes and he cooks better than i do.  He reloads my dishwasher.

36.  He doesn't throw his clothes on the ground, ever.

35.  He loves his mother and calls her when he gets stressed.  He remembers a very ideal childhood.  Once, I said to his mother, "He thinks you were perfect."  She said, "Soon honey, he will think you were perfect too."  And, she was right.
34.  He doesn't get embarrassed, and he's silly.

33.  Once, when i was out of town, he went to the emergency room for an "unexplained stomach ache."

32.  He taught me how to make gravy and white sauce.

31.  He drives a clunker that he thinks is an amazing car, because of the letters b.m.w..  [inserted by professor:  It really is an amazing car--525i sedan, forest green, sunroof, 5-speed manual, audiophile sound.  It's just had the most basic of maintenance for the past 5 years of graduate school.  I now look forward to renewing it to its former glory.]

30.  He likes guy movies and chick flicks.  In fact, I had the FLU and he begged me to come to the opening night of New Moon.  I left to throw up in the bathroom and he didn't even know i was gone.

29.  He is very smart.  He knows all the answers to trivial pursuit and remembers stuff we learned in school, like the layers of the earth and historical dates and geography...

28.  He can NEVER find things when i tell him where they are.  And then, he always thinks it's because I gave him bad directions.  (Yesterday, I told him to look in the bathroom, on the toilet for the baby tylenol.  It was actually in the medicine cabinet above the toilet, but he looked on the toilet and pronounced the fact that we needed to buy more.)  [inserted by professor:  This is a new house for us; I thought it was a mirror...]

27.  He really thinks he's a cowboy.  He wears a gifted rodeo belt buckle, and cowboy boots, and says "Howdy."

26.  He calls himself "the professor" on my blog and refers to himself as "Professor Moss" to his students.
25.  He is a hard worker.

24.  He always knows where he puts things and never looses his keys.

23.  He always thinks we have enough money for the things I want.

22.  He plays tickle monster with the kids.

21.  When I watch him teach, I fall in love with him all over again.

20.  He listens to me.

19.  He reads his scriptures every day.  He also kneels down and prays by our bed every. single. night.

18.  He loves to read and is always learning new things.
17.  He sleeps with his eyes half open.

16.  He cuddles and keeps me warm at night.  He never complains when I put my cold feet on him.

15.  We almost never watch sports, but I hear him talking with other guys and he knows scores and plays and stuff.

14.  I still remember when we were first married and he was working out a lot.  While he was vacuuming he was flexing in the mirror.  I love that kid.

13.  He loves my extended family, and my italian great grandparents.  Because of him, we named eve after my italian great grandmother (eve antonina) and he really wants to name a son Rocco after my great-grandfather.

12.  He is a good boy scout.  He does scouting with my boys.  He packs for camp outs and cleans up after himself without my help.  He is always telling them to go get their scout book.  He thinks you get a prize for the smallest duffel bag brought to scout camp. 

11.  He is very kind and compassionate.  He gets splinters out softer than I do.  He can comfort an emotional child (and wife) with his kind words.  He gets teary-eyed telling me about someone he cares about.

10.  He's competitive and he loves when I beat him.

9.  He waves to me when I cheer him on at basketball.

8.  He's romantic... he always lights candles... he thinks I'm beautiful.
7.  He makes friends with everyone.  He loves international food, and international people.  He is confident.  I asked him once why he always thought people like him.  He said, "Why would anyone not like me?"
6.  He takes a shower every day.  He eats three square meals every day.  Once, when I suggested we just have cereal for dinner, he asked, "Do you think we'll be malnourished?"
5.  He tells me every day that he is so grateful he married me.  He sees the best in me, and that helps me to see the best in myself. 
4.  He is very good.  He always wants to be better.  He is quick to apologize.
3.  He LOVES our kids.  He loves babies as much as I do... and that's a lot.  He is always telling me stories about the little things our kids do.  He wants MORE than 7 kids.
2.  He's really funny.  We banter back and forth a lot.  He likes when I'm sarcastic and witty.  Last night, I told our friends that I'd probably have 4 more kids before I was 38, because I'm todd's brood mare.  He smiled and said, "Yup, and that makes me her STALLION."

1.  He is full of FAITH, and genuinely optimistic!  Too the core, this guy knows everything will work out, we are loved, life is good.  If I waver, he is solid.

I still get tingles when he hugs me... 

I know that God loves me, because He gave me Todd.

This guy is for real.

and, he's great.

not perfect, but great.

he's my stallion and i am so lucky.

love you, toddie poddie! happy 38th. 
ps.  we may have to change our insurance forms because i told the doctors you were born in 74. 
oops.  73,74... blah.

growing up.

i love this kid.

and, i LOVE watching my kids grow up.

EVERY DAY i am awed by their goodness and self discipline

and,
EVERY DAY i am reminded that i am SO BLESSED.
really, aside from an occasional exhausting toddler, my kids are good.
Jakob is passing the sacrament now at church.
I can't watch him without crying (this could also be due to hormones).
He really is growing up.
And, I'm so excited to see the man he becomes.
For now, I LOVE twelve.

My bigger girls have not been fun in the mornings or the afternoons- for their whole life.
They dawdle when getting dressed and try to play instead of doing their chores after school.
My boys wake up, on their own, at 6am to get all their stuff done before school and still have time to read...
I keep telling my boys, when they whine about their sisters who are "making them late", the girls are just younger- you were the same way when you were their age.
But, sometimes I'm not sure if that is true. 
Moms tend to forget the hard parts of mothering fairly quickly.
Anyway, I've been HOPING that my girls would out grow their sock tantrums... AND, guess what?
This past week my girls have been up early and dressed and happy.
They look nice and they are ready to go, ON THEIR OWN, at least 30 minutes before Drew is ushering everyone into the car.
It's great.
And, it just happened.
They are really excited about doing their hair-- and I let them use my straightener and curling iron.
I don't help them.
(It's the tiger mom in me.)
When they whine that they don't know how to curl the back, i just tell them that if I always do it for them, they will never learn.  (Or, I tell them that maybe they are too young to be able to curl their hair-- that gets them motivated to try again!)
And, their hair looks darling.

My kids are growing up, and I love it.
THIS is why I have a big family.
They are growing up and it is joyful to watch.

ps.
Lily is as independent as my other girls...

doesn't she look pretty?

yes, i'm going crazy being 9 months pregnant.
but, i do love my life.

pps- oh my gosh!!  i just pushed post and then view blog and i looked again at those pictures of lily- under the title "growing up".
!!???!!  did you see that?  SHE is my baby!!  And she looks so grown up.
This is my lily...

just yesterday.

yesterday... blink... today... 

oh my!

i think i need to go swaddle her in her "ankie" and let her suck her thumb and play with my hair and whisper over and over in her ear... just stay little, ok?!

i do love seeing them growing- but i LOVE the yesterdays as much as the tomorrows.

I believe it IS possible to enjoy today and hope for tomorrow and still miss yesterday?

and, i hope it isn't possible for one's heart to burst from loving so many, so much.

ppps.- jakob still climbs in bed with me in the mornings and whispers that he loves me and lets me rub his back... yes,  he's twelve.  But he will ALWAYS be my baby boy.  oh, i'm crying again-- those hormones.

we love puzzles.

Do your kids love puzzles?

Mine do.

Regular wooden puzzles, big piece floor puzzles and these...

the wooden shape pattern boards and matching pair puzzles.

we love them. 

We have a little kid wooden shape board and a bigger kid Tangram book and shapes.

Here is a shape board on amazon- it's easier than the one we have.

Here is the actual puzzle that we have- Melissa and Doug Pattern Blocks and Boards $13.33.  I LOVE it.

I found this bigger kids version on Amazon- Tangram- $21.21 This isn't the one we have.  Ours has all black shapes and a book of patterns- i think i bought it from Borders.  It's really fun- even for me.

I also LOVE the matching pair puzzles.  They are quick to put together and clean up and let the kids learn while they are putting puzzles together.  (Just a note- I don't keep the puzzle boxes.  I have a bunch of puzzles without boards that I just store in ziplocs in one shoebox sized tupperware next to all my wooden puzzles.)   

LOVE them.
Here is one on amazon-- Baby Animal Puzzle Pairs- $11.82.  This is our easiest- lily loves it.
We also have a couple Matching pairs puzzles- they match a hammer with nails or a birthday cake with a candle or a dog with a bone.  I bought mine at Wal-mart for $1 awhile ago.
Here are some that I would LOVE to buy for my 4 year year old...
Simple Puzzle Alphabet Letters and Numbers Pair- $13.23
or this Simple Puzzle Pairs Rhyming Words- $11.25
or this Simple Puzzle Pairs Opposites- $11.95.

I LOVE puzzles.
It is definitly our go to activity when I turn off the cartoons.
What are your favorites?

ps- see that pregnancy counter?
yup-- it says 14 days.
that's 2 weeks.
i've NEVER gone past 38 weeks before without being induced...
that means i'm going a little crazy with excitement and waiting.
and nesting.
i'm trying to take one day at a time.
but, really, I CAN'T WAIT to meet this baby.
aghh!
did i tell you i wake my kids up on Christmas morning?
yup- i'm not great at surprises or waiting...

This is my THEME for the next two weeks
Be pretty if you are, Be witty if you can, But be cheerful if it kills you. ...


it has not been my theme for the past two weeks.
(don't believe me?  just ask my kids.)

two front teeth.

there is nothing cuter than a second grader with no front teeth.

just sayin.

bows and headbands.

remember this--

it is DARLING.

and, i want to buy it.  You can buy it here.

but, i decided to TRY and make it...

this is what i came up with... 

Here is a cute tutorial for felt flowers.

Mine's not as cute-- but it was free.

while i was hair clip making, i pulled out some of the ribbon i had saved from my baby shower packaging...

i think our bow supply is sufficiently updated--

Oh, little girls... little girls...

We were at church yesterday and the cute baby in front of us climbed over. 

(Meaning- I made faces at him the whole meeting until I finally couldn't take it any more and I stole him from his mother.  Yes, I'm VERY ready for my own baby to distract me during church.)

Anyway, the little girls and I were playing with him for awhile and leah said with surprise and a little bit of disgust, "Mom, this is a BOY baby."

I chuckled.  I'm not sure she even knows what to do with BOY babies.

And, i really do LOVE little girls.

just sayin'.

ps- this is MARCH... do you know i'm having a baby THIS month?!!

yup... 17 days doesn't sound very long to me...

although, to me, tonight sounds like a good night to have a baby!

blessed by clearance.

Warning- this post is about Being Blessed in the Clearance Section.  If you think this sounds silly-- do NOT read it!

I once heard my cousin talking about his wife.  He said something like, "She never spends money.  I have to force her to go to the store to buy something new."  My husband chuckled.  And, my heart YEARNED to be like that.  I'm not.  I'm frugal.  I spend cash.  And, I really like nice, new things. 

When I see mothers at the mall with one young child who is surrounded by mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, darling clothes, hair, diaper bag, stroller, etc... (you know who i'm talking about), i'm jealous.
NOT of the one child, of all that parents/grandparents are able to give to an only child.
I can feel myself trying to give each of my kids what I could give them if they were only children.
It is not possible.  And, I'm not even sure it is BEST.  But, nonetheless, I would like to have 7 children who look and act and feel like only children.  And, I would like to have a home so orderly that people are shocked to learn that we have a large family. 

This is my life struggle- and, it's one that I will gladly keep.  Ultimately, I KNOW that things aren't the most important.  I grew up with a single mother and not much money... I always envied the kids who brought lunch from home (we had free school lunch) and bought books at the book fair.  So, now I compensate.  I have friends who grew up with money who had parents that were frugal and taught them that book fairs were too over-priced.  We laugh at our difference.  I WISH I was someone who felt remorse for buying, not remorse for NOT buying.  :)  I wish I was someone who didn't look at clothes or care when my kids looked like orphans.  But alas, that is not my lot in life.  I do care.  I do want.  AND often, I see God's love for me because he blesses me with my desires.

Often I wonder WHY God lets me WANT.  I pray that if we don't have the means, he will take away my desire.  I know that I always feel full when I'm grateful for what I have, when I count my blessings, when I stop LOOKING at worldly things and love instead of compare.  And, really, I do try to do those things.  We stick to a strict budget.  I cook at home.  I make gifts because I can't afford to buy them.  I sew for my kids.  I don't have excess.  For everything that really counts in life, I am very content and grateful.  But, in my heart of hearts, in the back, I love nice things.  And, God knows it.  And, He ALWAYS blesses me with the desires of my heart.  ALWAYS. 
I think of the scripture in Malachi 3:10

"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not OPEN YOU THE WINDOWS OF HEAVEN, and POUR YOU OUT A BLESSING, THAT THERE SHALL NOT BE ROOM ENOUGH TO RECEIVE IT."

Today, my house is overflowing with baby goodness.
I already told you about my shower...
but, listen to this...
My husband got a call from a business journal that he did some work for-- it was just a service he did.
They told him as a thank you they were going to give him a reprint of Galileo's first edition book published in 1656 (he LOVES old books) AND a $300 gift card to Amazon.  He said if I bought him the extended version DVD of Lord of the Rings, I could spend the rest of the money on baby stuff.  !!!  seriously?!  I can get EVERYTHING I wanted, a diaper bag, nursing bras, new pjs, a baby swing, even the silly giraffe teether.  Isn't that fun?!

And, it gets better.
My mother- and father-in-law sent me some money to get a blessing dress for this baby.
I ran to Dillards and the dress that I wanted was still there!!!  When I went to buy it, it was marked down from $56 to $26 or something like that (it was originally $250).  All the clearance items in the store were an additional 40% off, Friday only.  I was not only able to buy the blessing dress, but I got a DARLING Ralph Lauren baby outfit for $6 AND...  AND... matching Strasburg Dresses for my girls (all 5 of them!!)  Now I have Easter/Summer dresses for all my girls (from my shower) and Fall dresses (from this sale).  Isn't that fun?!
You may think that it was just coincidence.  But, I will tell you, IT IS NO COINCIDENCE.  I had no idea that Dillards was having that sale.  My mother-in-law just happened to call that day and tell me she was transferring money to my account that day.  AND, hanging on the rack are the EXACT sizes of dresses that I LOVE, for 5 girls-- do you know how hard it is to find the right sizes in clearance... AND the dresses are $100 marked down to $20...  Yeah, that is not a coincidence.  It was a blessing.  And, I'm grateful. 

I feel stupid writing this post, because I know how shallow I sound.  But, I just wanted to share with you my small testimony.  God knows ME.  He loves me.  He sees my sacrifices and my desires and even though I'm not perfect, I am enough.  And, I am so blessed.  We ALL are so blessed.  Ultimately, I'm grateful that He lets me want for a time so that I can see His hand in my life.  And yes, often I see God's hand in the clearance section of Dillards.  :)

Does God talk to you in the store? 
One of my FAVORITE shopping-angel stories was when I was pregnant with Ellie.  I REALLY wanted a pink-checkered pottery barn bed set for anna (she was moving into a big bed and Ellie was sharing a room with her in a crib).   One day I was driving down the road and I felt a distinct impression to stop at Home Goods.  I had NEVER been to that store in my life.  I pulled over, parked and walked in wondering why I was there.  I remember walking down the main isle and turning right, to the very corner of the store.  I looked down and saw pink and white checkered bedding on clearance, sticking out from the bottom shelf.  When I pulled the bag out it was a twin quilt and sham, behind it was a matching crib set.  Seriously.  I laughed out loud, and prayed my gratitude.  God is soo good!  [Maybe not so important to note- but, it was shortly after this that Anna was burned.  I spent my 9th month of pregnancy in the hospital with Anna.  Ellie was born 4 days after Anna was released from the trauma burn unit.  We had a daily visiting nurse and made daily trips to the occupational therapist.  No, God did not bless me with an EASY life... but he did bless me with a darling bedroom to come home to. ]

i LOVE this scripture...

"For I, the Lord, have put forth my hand to exert the powers of heaven, ye cannot see it now, yet a little while and ye shall see it, and know that I am"  (Doctrine and Covenants 84:119)

There are times in ALL of our lives when we WANT.  I believe wanting is good.  Asking is good.  I believe that God wants to bless us, because He loves us.  And, if we LOOK we will see His hand in our lives.  Not instantly.  But, eventually. 

Today, I am blessed and very grateful.

thank you!!

Baby showers.

I had so much fun last night... Can I just tell you how much I'm going to miss this place?

I love the great people that I have gotten to know over the past 5 years.

It was so fun for me to be surrounded by all my friends-- church and school.

Of course, when I got home I saw that MOST of my pictures were blurry so you won't get a true representation of the great friends I have... but I am going to show you all the cute baby stuff I got.

NOT because I'm bragging, but because baby things are SO darling.

It may seem silly to say, because I have done this 6 times before, but I am as excited for this baby as I was for my first.

Giddy excited.

Perhaps, more excited than I have ever been-- because I know how great it is to have a new baby.

(Writing that made me cry.)

Today I feel SO blessed.

And VERY grateful.

Thank you to all of you who came to the shower last night, who smile when I say dumb things, who are excited and supportive of me-- for celebrating a 7th baby!

Really, I have the BEST friends.

EIGHT girls hosted this shower-- isn't that cute! I love them.

Valerie Post, Julie Merrill, Deborah Jimenez, Liza Mathes, Breanna Partington, Bambi Temple, Jessica Medrano, and Jennifer Carroll.

Julie let us have it at her house.
AND, they invited 70 people. :) Isn't that funny?!
The food was delicious, we had a lot of fun, breanna made this funny matching game where you earned a "themed" candy bar for each correct answer-- it was so cute.

I made the party favors-- a way to say THANK YOU!

And, my sweet friend, Becky Williams, made the cute thank you tags that I put on them.

They passed around a basket with note cards for people to write me notes... so sweet.

And, I got the most adorable gifts.

(One friend got coordinating outfits for all 7 of my kids... so fun! One friend crocheted the softest, prettiest purple blanket. One friend knit this darling dress and bunny. I got a homemade towel, a new CAR SEAT, darling dresses, and blankets, chocolate, and even a certificate for a ONE HOUR MASSAGE-- i'm SO excited!! People are kind and generous... and I'm so grateful.)

So, THANK YOU!!!

Thanks to those of you who came last night, and thanks to those of you who are my friends from a distance.

Thank you to those of you who cheer me up when I'm cranky and love my kids when I am overwhelmed.

People talk often about the rude comments they get at the grocery store-- or the people who judge them when they choose to have a big family or have a natural birth or send our kids to school wearing child-picked attire and 7 year old ponytails (not cute)...

But, from my experience, those who LOVE and SUPPORT are much more than those who condemn.

I know how crazy we are... and I also know how loved our family is.

SO, thanks!!

really... thank you.

and now (after my massage)... let's meet this baby so i can dress her in all these cute things!!

third trimester preparations.

There is one thing that I find magical about pregnancy, and that is how well the last trimester prepares you for life with a newborn.  As your belly grows, your body naturally slows down.  You have less energy and thus begin to sit more, lay down in the afternoons, gravitate to bed when your children are sleeping...

Night time sleep is not what is once was.  Being 8 months pregnant and tired, I am amazed again at how difficult it is for me to sleep.  First of all, it's hard to find a comfortable position for too long.  Second, I'm hot.  Third, when I do find that perfect position, my mind seems to race with baby names or lists of things I need to do before the baby comes, or ways that I can apologize to my sweet older children for my cranky retorts of the day.  I often find myself awake in the middle of the night staring at the clock... 1:07am, 4:12 am, 5:15am, etc. 

The truth is, I LOVE this.  Why?  Because I KNOW it is all part of the plan.  There is something perfect about a third trimester mother gently transitioning into slower days and less rest at night... a PERFECT preparation for the day when a newborn will nap throughout the day and graze throughout the night.  Although it is difficult, it is preparatory.  And, I think it's beautiful. 

I really, really adore evening babies.  There is something magical about waking up at 2am with a precious, wide-eyed baby.  When the whole house is quiet aside from the occasional sleeping sound or laugh from another room.  And, it's just me and my suckling baby and dreams of tomorrow.  I LOVE night time babies. 

I love waking up as I try to roll over with a 8 month belly, all tangled in my blankets.  I love the quiet of the night-- with all my kids asleep and safe.  My husband's funny night sounds-- he closes his lips just enough so that you can hear them flapping as he breathes in and out.  I love how he always cuddles close to me if I reach out to him.  I love the stillness of my spirit in the middle of the night, and how any time i think of my baby she will kick back at me.

There is something nice about that day when you wake up realizing that you have actually slept through the night-- a whole 8 hours, without any interruptions.  (This takes awhile-- because even if my babies are good sleepers, I still sleep shallow enough to hear them if they do squirm in their sleep.)  Sleep is good.  But so are quiet nights, when you are alone amidst those you love... preparing for change. 

The ironic thing about this post is that I have babies that quickly sleep through the night.  Often, I find myself holding my sleeping baby, knowing that she would sleep well if I would just lay her down... and I do.  But, I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY love that time we get to spend together. 

And, just FYI-- I do not sleep with my babies.  I did this with my first four kids and I created children that could not sleep on their own.  Our nights were horrible.  Our intimate life suffered-- first, because we were always tired from not sleeping well and second, because we never really had time alone.  Now, I have a small bed in my bedroom where my babies sleep for the first 3 months or so.  I'm very good at waking up and caring for my baby and putting her back to sleep in her own bed, all swaddled and perfect.  My babies sleep on their tummies.  (Even the NICU nurses put my babies on their tummies-- this is the only way they will sleep for a long time.)  And, I love the Baby Wise philosophy--  Eat- Awake- Sleep, Eat- Awake- Sleep.  But, I think the BabyWise book is a bit extreme.   Remember, I'm not good at extremes.  And, I don't believe children are ruined by inconsistency.  So, some days my kids snuggle in.  Sometimes, my babies cry in their cribs.  Sometimes, I hold them all night long and never lay them down.   Sometimes, I rub their back until they fall asleep and MOST of the time, I swaddle them and lay them down awake so they can peacefully fall asleep and learn to fall asleep on their own.  I'm also NOT a pacifier mother.  When my babies are hungry, I feed them.  When they are tired, I put them to sleep.  I think most babies are fussy when they need something and content when they are taken care of.  Saying that, I probably should have used a pacifier with some of my more fussy kids-- oh the hours I spent rocking those little stinks. 

Have I told you how excited I am to meet this new little girl?
She'll probably have colic and cry all night long and I'll read back on this post and laugh at myself...
but, that's life!
Right now, I love to feel how we are making room for another...  it's a growing process, but a really fun transition time.

sibling class.

i took drew, anna and ellie to a class at UMC for Super Siblings.

it was free, and a fun way to spend Saturday morning.
they taught the kids how to hold a baby, change a diaper, and do the hospital swaddle.

they also showed a video that showed what a newborn baby would look like and things that siblings can do to help with a new baby.

NO, i wouldn't say this class was AMAZING-- but, it was something fun to do to help my bigger kids feel prepared.

(Drew was darling, he did ask me if he had to get a baby doll- the teacher gave them all an option- when i said yes, he really got into it...  boys like dolls-- just let them blame it on you that they HAVE to and they'll be fine.)

we toured the labor and delivery and got to see the new babies in the nursery...

it made me want to work in the post partum unit-- helping mom's adjust to their new babies.

AND, part of me just wanted to change into a hospital gown and meet my new baby...

i'm SO excited.

and so are my kids!

who are now, diaper changing, baby swaddling EXPERTS-- just ask them, they took their class VERY seriously.