and, i love it.
2-yesterday was GREAT. oh the power of the brain. i'm back on the organization train and i'm CHUGGIN'
guess what i watched on netflix while i organized my craft room? HOARDERS!!
isn't that great?! oh what a motivation to PURGE...
3- i had an OB appointment today. i LOVE my doctor. love him. he is admittedly "OLD FASHIONED" (he says please don't forget the word fashioned)... he doesn't think i'm weird when i'm weird.
he sits in a chair to really talk to me each visit. he is the HEAD obgyn at Texas Tech right now and has very few patients (i thought i was his ONLY patient). turns out he has another woman-- pregnant with her 7th baby and trying to VBA2C's... isn't that funny?! she's due before me. i'm so excited to hear how her birth goes. Dr. Yeoman's said, "You both are very similar. And you both are the nicest people in the world. That is my favorite part about being a doctor-- connecting with good people." See, isn't he great?! I love when doctors aren't afraid to tell me about other patients. Dr. Yeoman's told me that before i got to the hospital this morning (my appointment was 8am) there was a mother whose ultra sound showed her baby had no brain. He said he's seen everything... and it's sad, but all part of life. He also told me that there was a mother of twins who was 36 weeks and demanding a c-section. Both her babies were head down. He wanted her to wait and try to labor vaginally. He said, "I just wonder if right now she THINKS she wants surgical intervention but later she will regret it." Did i tell you he is great?
4-i'm turning weird. maybe i should say, weird-ER. i've been reading A LOT about birth. and, i've been thinking A LOT about birth. i told my doctor, i REALLY had 6 beautiful births. i LOVED my doctors, i trusted my doctors, and i felt that they worked miracles to save my babies. BUT, i asked my current doctor what he thought. My last c-section was a VERY prolapsed cord. i wondered if he thought that could have happened because my doctor ruptured the sack, instead of letting the water break naturally. he said, "ABSOLUTELY." i am very against artificial rupturing of the membranes. I believe they are there for a reason and will rupture when they are supposed to. WHAT?! i've never heard a doctor say that before. I also asked him about my first birth. I tried to labor naturally for 12 hours-- on Pitocin. I never dilated past 4cm. When I got my epidural i went from a 4 to a 10 in 15 minutes and the baby came 5 minutes later. Seriously... epidural = baby in my mind. But lately, i've wondered if 1)i wasn't dilating because i was 2 weeks before my due date and my body wasn't ready to deliver my baby. or 2)i could have gone from a 4 to a 10 in 15 minutes even without the epidural... i just needed to wait 15 more minutes. or 3)after i got my epidural, they hiked up the pitocin and that's what dilated me. Again, Dr Yeoman's said I could be right. He said doing the VBA2C (vaginal delivery after 2 c-sections) he is most concerned about me going into labor. He said if we get to the pushing part he isn't concerned at all. He's not worried about delivering a baby-- even if her hand is up by her head, or her cord is around her neck. But, he is a little concerned about me going into spontaneous labor. OH!! I REALLY, really, really want to go into labor on my own. And, here is a good thing. I think my due date is TWO WEEKS earlier than he thinks my due date is. PLUS, he'll let me go TWO WEEKS after what he thinks my due date is... so my chances of going into labor on my own are pretty good... good thing all my babies have been small-ish. I think i should be most worried about delivering a 12 pounder-- my mom had TWO 12 pound babies. AHHH!
NOTE-- i REALLY am a grounded weird person. I had 4 BEAUTIFUL epidural births and 2 MIRACULOUS c-sections. I'm VERY pro-doctor. I trust them. I believe that ALL the doctors i have known have CARED and done their best to make my births safe and healthy. But this time, I really WANT to experience natural child birth. I just want too. I know most natural birth woman have really negative feelings about doctors or hospitals or epidurals... that's not me. Honestly, I can't even say, "As long as the baby is healthy." I know that whatever happens during the course of this baby will be OK.
-c-section-- i can handle this.
-epidural-- i honestly think no birth could be more beautiful than a properly handled epidural birth-- they are just beautiful and happy and peaceful and AMAZING-- you get to meet your BABY!!
-birth defects-- hard, but i KNOW i can do hard things
-death-- i believe in Heaven, with angel grandmothers, and God, and... there are worse things in the world than death.
-kidnapped at age 6-- yeah, this would be pretty dang hard.
i'm not even idealistic enough to say that a natural birth is best. honestly, i just want to TRY one.
i want my water to break.
i want to feel small contractions leading up to bigger contractions.
i want to FEEL a baby being born.
i want it to be hard, and then really hard, and then finished.
will that make my baby smarter? NO!
will it make my recovery better? i'm dubious... i REALLY recover great from labor.
will it be an AMAZING experience? i think so.
some people bungee jump. some people travel the world. some people spend years in school researching other people's scholarship.
me, i create life. i create a home. i learn from people and personalities and from nature.
i love listening to my body and FEELING life.
i LOVE babies and children and teaching and learning and experiencing life's moments.
i LOVE it.
birth is something i REALLY want to experience fully.
and, NOW i understand home births.
i never, NEVER understood them before.
i could never do a home birth (i've experienced scary and i'm pro-doctor).
honestly, i'm not someone that would want my other kids around... i don't even want them around when i clean a closet.
but, i like the idea of letting your body do what your body was created to do.
(squatting on a rice field, a little push, then you're back to work.)
if you don't have an AMAZING doctor... this is very hard to do at a hospital.
i get it. and, i appreciate it.
and... in my dreams... i live in a cabin with the professor, and we birth our baby while water boils on our wood stove and our horses neigh in the barn.
weird-ER. yup.
5-i kinda want to cut my hair SHORT. i do this EVERY TIME! fatter face=shorter hair. the professor says, don't do it... but, isn't this haircut cute??
that's all.
2 comments:
Dr. Yeoman was the doctor overseeing Owen's birth and he was great. He gave me many compliments during the process and made me feel like I was a champion at giving birth. All I can say is you're brave, give me an epidural anytime!
Natural is great, hard, very intense, makes you wonder if you ever want to do it again, but great. For me my water never does break on its own, when I'm fully dilated (which for me happens very quickly, even on my first baby was 4 hours) the doctor breaks my water and out comes the baby. I've gone into labor on my own twice and been induced twice. There is absolutly nothing natural about pitocin and I am an advocate for epidural if pitocin is involved.
I read tons of natural birth books and do the exercise - the mental and physical ones to prepare myself for the delivery. Mental preparation is very important. On my third pregnancy I didn't read much or do much thinking I had already done it before and seemed pointless to review - mistake. The fourth pregnancy I went back to reading and doing the exercises and it helped prepare me. I also always used herbal suppliments the last few weeks of pregnancy (5 week formula) and I think they help prepare the body.
The last birth I didn't deliver until a day before the due date, but I was already dilated to a 7 before I went into real full blown labor - interesting experience.
That is a cute haircut in the picture. I figure hair will always grow back so why not experiment, I am constantly going from long to short to long again - I'm currently contemplating super short.
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