birth- ina may gaskin.

i checked out this book, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, from the library.

ina may is probably the most famous American midwife.

this book is very well-referenced among natural, home birth type people.

i do not include myself in this category...

having had 6 hospital epidural inductions 2 of which resulted in emergency c-sections.

i was kicked out of a midwife's office with my FIRST pregnancy- they panicked after my first blood test.
yes- midwives do panic.

back to the book.
the first half is a compilation of birth stories of people who birthed their babies with Ina May on "The Farm".
to me, the farm sounds a bit like a 70's hippy compound.
intriguing, a bit "free spirit, no bra" sexual, and not something that many of us have an opportunity to experience.
i'm a bit addicted to birth stories lately...  on the Internet, you tube, or in books, i really enjoy reading about other women's journey to bring forth their children. 
i love hearing how they face their fears, how they deal with intense pain, how they feel when their babies are born.
i love the commonality that i see... birth is really not that different among cultures and woman.
i love reading how doctors and midwives react to labors that start and stop, babies who get stuck or turned, woman who are freaking out...
i even love hearing the advice of my friends... "natural birth is way over-rated, it's the worst pain you will ever experience, my throat hurt from screaming, you do feel amazing when it's over." of "you can do it, it's not that bad."
personally, i am so curious how i handle intense pain/pressure.
i believe the hypnobabies idea of putting yourself into a hypnotic state is naturally what i do...
i tend to zone out and remain calm in everyday stress... i'm more a zoner than a freaker.
but, i'm curious.  and, i'm also intellectual.  i'm not sure that i would be able to experience extreme "pain" and continue to tell myself that "labor doesn't hurt."

i LOVE the second half of Ina May's book.
i LOVE it.
I'm making my husband read it, and gifting it to all my girls when they are expecting...
(note- i'm not having the professor read the beginning accounts of birth stories...)
Ina May is not a trained doctor-- but, she has attended and birthed hundreds of babies.  She has the natural gift of intuition in labor.  Her ability to help women deliver babies naturally is astounding.  In the 2nd section of the book, she really explores the history of birthing babies and why we do some of the things that we do.

Ina May said some people describe birth as pushing an orange through a nostril.
She disputes this claim... a nostril was not designed to push an orange out of it.

Ina describes the amazing design of a woman's body-- how we are designed to contract and open and birth babies.  It is part of our design... our body opens and our baby can come out. 

I also love how she reminds woman that labor pressure does not "hurt" us.  The pressure transforms our body to deliver our baby.  It is temporary and useful.  It doesn't cause us injury, it helps us birth our baby... and then it goes away leaving us filled with adrenaline and oxytocin.

Another thing i love in this book, is how Ina shows a woman's ability to influence her labor with her thought processes and words.
during my first pregnancy, there was a girl that i knew from church who was a nursing student.  she was so excited that she was going to be able to watch my labor.  it was uncomfortable for me... i didn't want her in the room with my husband and i the whole time, but i didn't feel like i had any choice. 
i'm not sure that i could have pooped in front of that girl-- but i performed a far more soul and body showing event of life in front of her.

Often, Ina compares birth to sexual intercourse.  She explains how your attitude during the process can add to your pain-- some woman feel extreme pain putting in tampons, some tampons hurt more than others, some sexual encounters are pleasurable, some are not... what changes is not necessarily a women's ability to perform, or her bodies ability, or the size of the object inside you, but the preparation and mental attitude surrounding the circumstances.  i'm certain that i would have some performance anxiety if i was asked to have sex with my husband in a hospital room surrounded by nurses and doctors and interested students... not sure it would be the most relaxed, positive experience of my life.  {although we have had practice "relaxing" while children were knocking on our locked bedroom door.}  And i propose that intercourse isn't even as intimate, exposing or sacred as child birth can be.  i asked the professor how he would feel.  what if they asked him to poop in a bowl in front of a group of student doctors?  i think he understood how it might be a bit more difficult to relax.  interesting. isn't it?!  see- i told you i'm starting to understand home births.  {understand, as in, "i see" not "i could choose"}  Really, i'm not particulary modest when it comes to childbirthing... i've never had an issue with a male doctor or even doctors that i know in a personal setting.  I guess, after reading her book, i can see how constant monitoring, people coming in and out that you don't know or like, and even a hospital setting, can really make it more difficult to remain calm and relaxed and allow your body to do what it was designed to do.  It makes sense. 

as i've birthed my babies, i've heard women in other rooms who were SCREAMING.
i don't think i'm a screamer.
but, i imagine there is a point, under prolonged intense pain, that anyone would loose control.  i get that.
i'm curious if i could experience a normal, natural labor and remain in control.
i'm curious what it would take to bring me back if i started to loose it.
i'm interested what would push me over the brink...
i THINK i could handle the pressure of contractions IF everything was going well. 
for me, my biggest obstacle is going to be intense pain with NO progression.
my greatest worry is that i need pitocin to dilate.
i'm concerned that i will never go into labor on my own.
i'm concerned that if i let myself wait to go into labor, i'm going to birth a 12 lb. baby
(my mother had 2, my mother in law had boys over 10 lbs-- they did it, i could too.)
i'm not worried about pushing- i'm good at that.
i'm not worried about an emergency- hospitals are the best at emergency situations.
i'm worried about a labor that comes and goes and lasts for 4 days instead of 12 hours.
that's ok on the FARM.
but, i can't go for a walk in the woods once i'm checked into the hospital.
i'm so interested to experience the birth of this baby.
i have loved this pregnancy- transfusion FREE!!
i'm really getting that baby itch.
having had 6 children- i believe much of the FEAR of childbirth is replaced with an understanding of the JOY.
i know i can do this, whatever happens, and I AM EXCITED!

Many of you are pregnant, or will someday be pregnant...
i highly recommend this book... especially the 2nd half.
remember- i'm getting weirder so i enjoyed all of it.
good book.
interesting read.

i'm learning, but still very grounded.
no need to reassure me!! 
i have LOVED my epidural births. 
I don't think c-sections are the end of the world... i am SO GRATEFUL for hospitals and doctors that have saved my life and saved the life of my babies.
People say, "As long as my baby is healthy." 
And, i can't even say that.
i have known and loved many families whose babies weren't "healthy", and although the experience was difficult, it was beautiful and perfect.
life is good.
pregnancy and birth is EDIFYING and MIRACULOUS.
i'm SO excited to meet this new baby!!

only 10 weeks left.  maybe...

thanks for the insight ina may!

ps.

i LOVE little kids with hiccups.

so cute.

especially when you tell them to stop... or when they try to make another hiccup come.

darling.

i also LOVE little girls with ballet costumes on over their clothes.

so they can dance... all day.

love it.

january children's books- Gyo Fujikawa.

i like to read a story to my kids before they go to sleep.

lately, i've realized that i don't love many of the stories that i have.

i'm not a fan of many modern books-- i crave the beauty and poetry of literature that we have lost with books like No David No!, Junie B. Jones, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

Cute stories, yes.  Beautiful literature, NO.

I'm craving simple, thought provoking, beautiful, classic, picture book type stories.

In this day and age, kids know Sponge Bob, and maybe even Cat in the Hat, but they don't know Georgie Porgie or Little Miss Muffett, or even "Not by the hair on my chiney, chin, chin."  Ariel but not Rumpelstiltskin.

My other issue is that my favorite books get ruined... from lots of love.   Whereas the books I love least are still in mint condition.  My younger kids don't have the beautiful books that my older children loved. 

I need to update my favorites.

So, I decided that once a month i would take my kids to the book store and we would buy a new book for our collection.

Guess what?  Even at Barnes and Noble it was hard for me to find a book i love.
Weird huh?

They had some great books- but they were all paper back, or cost $30.

Next month, I'm going to  buy online.

i LOVE what i ended up coming home with...

Actually, I bought 2 books... from the same author/illustrator Gyo Fujikawa.

Have you heard of her?
 i found this picture... which makes me love her more.
Fairy Tales and Fables... you can buy it for $9.95 here.
and, A Child's Book of Poems... you can buy it for $9.95 here.
Actually, at Amazon right now, you can get 4 of Fujikawa's books for the price of 3...  they are DARLING.
i also LOVE her Original Mother Goose book...  but i have 100 mother goose books already.
(If I was shopping at Amazon-- I'm sure i would have gotten 4 of her books.)

There is actually an etsy store that sells pages from her books to frame.

The poems in her child's book of poems are old fashioned.  Some are familiar classics, others are new to me.
The classic stories in the fairy tales and fables books, are short and easy to read, but CLASSIC in their language.  Yes, little red riding hood says, "Grandmother, what big ears you have."  And the wolf responds, "The better to hear you with my dear."  Grandmother, by the way, is hiding in the closet.  (This may not be true to how it was first written, but it does make more sense... you really couldn't chop grandma out of the wolf's stomach.)  In the tortoise and the hare, the final line is the classic "Slow and Steady wins the race."
i LOVE that.  Easy to read and classic language with darling pictures.  What more could you ask for?

I have left these two books on my coffee table this past week.  All throughout the week, I have read them to my little kids, but I have found them in my big kids room.  My bigger girls have, on their own, memorized many of the poems.  And, my boys keep asking me, "Mom, what does pantaloons mean?" or "What's a moor?" 
I LOVE it!!

Anyway, you might laugh at me.  I'm a bit dumb about the books I love.  Especially children's books... but i'm excited for my journey to add a few more classics to my collection.

Any suggestions?

hormonal.

i bought this book for 25 cents at goodwill.
(you can buy it for 25 cents on amazon...)  
i love regency romances...
where there is a rich duke, a strong-willed heroine,
and they kiss on the last page.

easy reading, fun banter, happy endings.
i can handle that, even pregnant.
or so i thought.

during naptime this afternoon, i started reading...
and i found myself SOBBING.
like 4 times.
for real.
wiping tears from my face.
both from the desperate plight of this regency heroine,
and from the complete joy as her and the man she loved shared their first real kiss together.

REAL TEARS.
oh my... 
hormones are flying around these parts.
beware. 

mockingjay.

the professor finished it first and didn't love it.
not a great ending, and he got tired of  Katniss Everdeen's insanity...
he has issues with Bella too.

i defended them both... my sisters.
as i was reading, i totally disagreed with him.
i was hooked, it pulled me through,

then i finished it.
and, i realized i hated it.

i decided i don't like the whole series.

well written + bad message = not worth the time i spent.

harsh, maybe.
but, unlike Suzanne Collins i feel that life is good.
most people are good.
and we can experience a fullness of joy.
Collins seems to stay between really crappy and enduring.

i'm kinda sick of the emotionally unstable female heroins...
everything doesn't have to be happy all the time... but i'm definitely a happy ending person.

i hate reading a book that leaves me down.

hopefully, the movie will be better.

summer ideas- go to the library.

how i love the library.
especially if we go armed with a purpose.
in the car on the way to the library we thought about the types of books we were looking for.
jakob is working on his boy scout reading merit badge.
the kids each have goals they want to do this summer.

the girls had the sweet librarian scouring the library for them, and the boys and i spent time navigating the card catalog.

(Lily was in her stroller with me, and Leah spent 20 minutes collecting a MOUNTAIN of books in the kids section-- no worries, before we left the big kids each learned how to re-shelf children's books.)

we found books to read for fun.
and, books on growing things, origami, sculpture (sculpy)... etc.
i put a big basket on my family room table to hold all the books.
we LOVE to read them all day.

(I think it's funny that you can see PTA on the label for this basket-- yup.  my pta basket is empty and full of SUMMER books.  perfect.)

i got The Theif, by Megan Turner Whalen.
(thanks for the recommendation!!)
loved it.
SOOO good.
i have to go today to get the next one in the series.
how i love the library.

lions and tigers and book ratings... oh my!

Turns out I'm all FIRED UP about BOOK RATINGS.
Shannon Hale, and LDS author, who i love, has been talking a lot about book morals, on her blog- Squeetus.

I've commented on almost every entry.
LONG comments.
PASSIONATE comments.
turns out, i REALLY disagree with her on this topic.
(even though i still love her books)

and, i REALLY feel like we should have RATINGS on books.
and, i'm READY to start a rally.

Let's all meet in Washington, DC... with banners... and cupcakes.
Beautiful cupcakes full of BUGS or dog food, and hand them to every cute child we see.
And see if they take a bite.
And then tell the mothers that they should have tasted EVERY cupcake BEFORE they let their child eat it.
That's what all these people say,
"If parents are concerned they should read every book before their kid does." 
That's crap.
Even super-home schoolin'-mother-of one's can't possible read every book before their child does...
unless her kid doesn't love to read...
or go to the library...
or, she reads all day and never does her dishes...
Should we have to TASTE everything our kid eats before he eats it to know whether or not it is full of poison.
NOPE.  That's why we have LABELS.
and WARNINGS.
oh so important.
with information we can CHOOSE.

One of the authors that Shannon had comment said "most toddlers will select a reasonably balanced diet if you give them the choice."  and "[speaking as a grown-up who learned early on to avoid like the plague any book with the word 'poignant' on the jacket.  Nothing signified adult content like 'poignant.']"
AHHHH!!
No.
No.
most kids would eat CRAP if they could.
ESPECIALLY if the people who SOLD the crap could put a nice cover on it that said it was VEGGIES...
or FRUIT snacks (but that's a topic for another day).

and, there has got to be a better way to teach our children to avoid pornographic books than telling them to look for the word POIGNANT.
that illustrates EXACTLY what is wrong with the system.
we CAN'T CHOOSE for ourselves, because we DON'T KNOW what is in the book unless we READ IT.
dumb.
labels are GREAT.
Book RATINGS would work.
No, they wouldn't be PERFECT.  But, they would work.
I let my kid play Lego Star Wars even if it there is a VIOLENCE caution on it.
in fact, i would TEACH my kids the smutty stuff in Shakespeare to get them to read it.
(yes, that's why i love shakespeare... but don't tell anyone.)
knowing what is in a book does not LIMIT us, it only give us more information to USE when we CHOOSE.

in my HUMBLE opinion.
This is the comment i wrote on her blog today.  OH!  I'm pretty passionate about this subject...

Readers have the right to be INFORMED. We have the right to know what is in the book, BEFORE we buy it or read it. In this country, you can't even feed your child a TWINKIE without knowing the ingredients. KNOWING what is in a book does not change the book at all. It allows us to have informed decisions when choosing. WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SPEND HOURS OF OUR TIME TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER A BOOK IS SOMETHING WE WANT TO READ.
Why is it that we allow PUBLISHERS and MARKETING experts to appeal to us and our children without any regulations?

Ratings do not censor, ratings INFORM. I am an adult. EVERY TIME I go to the library I am frustrated. I don't want to waste my time reading a book that is full of bad language and sex scenes. And, I CAN'T TELL from the cover what is really in the book.

I was at the library today and talked to a librarian. They have a hard time BUYING books, because all they have to go by is the summary from the publisher and the book reviews. !!???

There are ratings on movies, video games and detailed labels on food... i don't see that parents or schools are censoring uncontrollably just because we know the rating. Twinkies are still on the shelf! And MANY kids are allowed to play M-Mature games.

People are smart. When given the necessary information, we can choose for ourselves. My children are smart... they can go to a school library and choose for themselves IF the information is available to them. Letting them know that a certain book contains bad language and partial nudity doesn't limit their ability to choose. It strengthens it. Information is POWERFUL.

We can tell the difference between nudity in a Dr. Suess book, implied sexuality in Shakespeare, and detailed sex in a Harlequin. Ratings are smart too... N for brief nudity, N+ for graphic nudity, S for mild sexual situations, S+ for explicit sexual situations. Ratings don't limit choice. Ratings just give us more input to choose with.

As consumers, we have a RIGHT to know what we are reading BEFORE we buy it, BEFORE we hand it to our children, BEFORE we get 30 pages in.
Book RATINGS are long overdue.

hah! i really had no idea how passionate i am about this issue until i started commenting on your blogs.

i love books.
i hate being deceived into reading something i would never knowingly choose.
i want the choice.
i want my children to have the choice what they read and what they do not read.
the problem is, without ratings, all they have is a cover designed by a publisher to SELL.
that is deceptive.
the end.
of my book.

hungry and drooling.

got it.
read it.  (till 1 am)
loved it.
needing book two.
it's been a while since i've read fiction...
i feel like i have friends again.

and, i got my root canal yesterday.
right before my kids' piano/violin recital.
seriously, i think i was drooling while i watched.

i made the mistake of reading one of the permission slips i was signing.
it tells all the awful things that can go wrong...
when i met the doctor i laughed and said, "now, don't go dropping any of your dentist tools into the roots of my tooth."
he said, "don't worry, that hardly ever happens."

yup.
it DID!!
i now have a titanium tooth file at the very tip of my canal.
i guess it's not that big of a deal.
and, it would have been way worse if he tried to dig it out.
AHHH!
they'll x-ray again in 6 months.
AND i signed a form that says i know it's in there and if they have to operate again on that tooth it will be HALF PRICE.
blah.
actually, it wasn't that bad.  they numbed me up really well, and because i have 6 kids they gave me nitrous oxide for free.  seriously.  it normally costs $115.  i'm REALLY funny with a little drugs in my system.  i told him that was probably the closest i've ever come to being drunk.
when he heard i had six kids he asked if i was LDS.
i always think that's funny.
MORMONS do believe in birth control.
CATHOLICS don't.
i'm just assuming it wasn't the size of my family the cued him in... it was my MORMON GLOW.
then, he spent the whole time telling me everything he knows about mormons.
from "jack mormons" to Napolean Dynamite.
tina.  i reminded him, tina was the name of the Llama.
he asked if i knew every 80's song and who sang it.
hah!  i guess i'm an 80's music Jack Mormon.

the worst part was that it took a long time and i was worried we'd be late for our recital...
when i went to pay they said, $1,095.
WHAT?!
(that's a mortgage payment during the summer months when we don't get paid.)
the professor said it would only cost us $250.
(that's spending money for a month-- and NOT a summer month when the kids are home all day.)
i had to pay it.  they already did the work.  and, i was late.
i cried a little when i handed them the professor's debit card.
turns out, because i went to a specialist, not just my normal dentist, it costs more.
blah.

such is life.
and, at least i'm not dying... or hungry... or living in a country controlled by evil people (i hope)... or having to KILL someone else to survive...

my wise friend tiffany says, "If money can fix it, it's not really a problem."
today.  i got noooo problems.

well, aside from the fact that all the copies of catching fire are already checked out at my library and i'm obsessive.
hah... guess what?  money COULD fix that.  right?  i could go to a store and buy book 2.
so, no problems after all.
just listen to this last line... 

"I take his hand, holding on tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go."

 ohh.  my sweet, sweet friend.  i need book 2, i miss you already.

Books-- I Hate Them and Love Them

Some days I'm grateful that I'm obsessive... I get a lot done.

Some days I hate it. Like today. I spent the morning with the kids, laid Leah down for a nap, and then spend the rest of the day finishing the book I got at the Library yesterday. It's not even an enjoyable, relaxing read. It's obsession... I have to resolve the conflict.

This book was about a girl who got raped, a mother who was having an affair, and an unhappy father who had an altogether hidden background identity. I like Jodi Picoult because she is intellectual. I can't guess the plot lines. But this book. I HATED!! When I was done reading it I yelled at my kids, ate chocolate and reminded myself what a boring life I had. Then I realized that I wasn't really depressed, I was just in a book funk. I HATE SAD ENDINGS!! I am banking on a happily ever after. It is such an ingrained part of who I am... difficult children, bad days, times of trial... I live my life knowing that in the end "All these things will work together for my good." I don't want to think about people with crappy lives who make crappy decisions and live crappily ever after... no matter how well the book is written.

Anyway, I do have a good Georgette Heyer book on tape that I'm going to listen to while I quilt tonight. Even though I can tell you the plot of everyone of her books (Rich Rascal falls in love with Poor Ravishing Beauty, he marries her despite her whit and lack of noble heritage). Good always wins out, women with a mind of their own are cherished, and of course there is that breathtaking kiss on the last page that makes me want to roll over and make out with my own dashing husband. And we all live HAPPILY EVER AFTER...