i lost ONE pound.

this is me... when i got home from the gym today.
lily was all wet from her night diaper so i stripped her down.
have i told you how much i LOVE babies.

love, love, love them.

and, i ran for 30 minutes straight today.
not fast (5mph), but running without walking in between.
i usually go 3 miles... this morning i ran 2.25 and did .75 warm-up and cool-down.
goal number one: run for 30 minutes... check!

and... i lost ONE pound.
a solid number down without the up and down swirling numbers.
hmm.  it did take me since SEPTEMBER.  but, nonetheless it was a victory.

i want to run 3 miles every morning first at 6mph then 7mph.
and not hate it.
this is my ultimate goal... 
not a grand accomplishment, but considering that when i first started i was DYING after 30 seconds i'm feeling good.
(and to loose 15-20 pounds... totally in the NORMAL weight for my BMI... and, if i don't have a baby before i get to this point, considering my current weight-loss trend, i should loose 20 pounds by the time i'm 40!!)
the professor lost 3 pound by the way.  3...

so... do the 'lost one pound' dance with me today.
it looks a little like the potty dance that is a favorite around here during potty training.
ps.  if you or someone you know is potty training, pass on the tip...
the potty dance works better than candy.
it goes like this...
potty, potty!!
you went potty!
now we'll do the potty dance...
potty, potty, potty!!!
it involves a lot of arm swinging and twirling.
fun, fun.
pps.  funny that i wrote this post today, because this morning i did NOT want to get out of bed.  i told todd twice to leave without me.  but, after 3 kids climbed into bed with me (5am) i figured i might as well go running because i wasn't going to get any sleep here anyway.
we put a movie on for the kids (jakob is 11 now and we do leave him for short spurts with the kids)... and i dragged my lazy bum to the gym.  i LOVE spending that time with the professor in the morning.  sweating together is very bonding.  most days.  except that he is always cheerful and talkative and i am CRANKY.  when we're done he feels energized and i'm exhausted.  he says he feels great and i feel like i got hit by a train.
but, today... i felt a little good.  i did fall asleep during scripture time and the professor's rendition of Cain and Abel.  but... i woke in time to send the kids off armed for 100 day... jakob, 100 beads; drew, 100 armbands; anna, 100 hair things; ellie, looked like she was 100 years old, and 100 bracelets.

anna called an hour after she got to school crying because her head hurt.  i told her to ask her teacher to take out the 100 hair bows.  she said, "really?"  i said, "yup!"  she said, "OK." and hung up the phone.
problem 53 solved!!
oh what a morning.

step-aerobics, carpet cleaning and water skiing... UPDATED

today i am humble.
Because, this morning i took a step-aerobics class, and i am HORRIBLE.
like, stopping, tripping, laughing, horrible.
and, even though i couldn't even do what they did, i was still exhausted.
honestly, i'm an aerobic instructor's nightmare.
i was dying and then my friend said, "Good job, you made it through the warm-up."

i FAILED aerobics in college.
for real.
I got an E. isn't that worse than an F?
I took aerobics 6am, everyday, my first semester at BYU.
grand intentions... the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak.
and, we were graded on skill... like, how far past your toes you could touch.
um. E.

So, it's like i'm getting a second chance.
And, part of me wants to stick with it and see if i can pick it up.

i'll tell you one of my regrets in life. you see, i never really tried when i was in school. things came easy to me, and i skated through. i was ok with ok grades. i took a lot of credits, graduated early and had over a 3.0 GPA... but I know that I never really tried. i NEVER read my text books. i slept through many of my lectures. i used cliff notes. i crammed and then did pretty good on my test. as a young child, i never stuck with anything. i dropped violin, i dropped track, i was on the swim team and i took gymnastics for a few years, then stopped. (i could never do a cartwheel.) i asked my mom once why she didn't make me stick with anything when i was growing up. she said, "Well honey, you weren't good."

so... this is my current delima.
do i stick with this step class that is TOTALLY not in my talent area... hoping that i will improve. or, do i accept my lack of coordination and stick with the tredmill?

i've always wondered what i could have been IF i tried.

i HAVE tried hard at being a good mom and wife and a homemaker. the mother part came naturally to me, but the wife and homemaker part has taken my best effort.
i try hard EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
and now, i want to try to be good at exercising. i've never had to exercise before, so now, i'm 32 and my metabolism is changing, and i really want to figure out how to loose a few pounds.

i decided to give up sugar... treats and stuff. and so i started today. i didn't even take a treat that my new step-aerobics teacher offered at the end of class. but, when i was cooking dinner, i had this whole pan of apple bars just sitting on the counter, and i ate a small, small piece. And then, i ate another small, small piece. And now, i'm 0 for 1 on my new No Sugar Diet.
See... i'm a dropout. (but, i DIDN'T eat oreos after my kids went to bed tonight.... and it was hard, very hard not to.)

i've been wanting to clean my carperts for a couple of weeks now.
but,
by the time i get them all picked up and vacuumed, it's time for the kids to get home from school and i always talk myself out of it... planning of course to just do it tomorrow. And that has happened for 2 weeks now. So, this afternoon it was seriously 30 minutes before the kids came home and i was determined to clean my carpets. i picked up, vacuumed and filled my little bissel with water and went to work. only, it didn't work. the cleaner would spray out water, but it wasn't sucking anything up. i turned it over, i used a screwdriver to open up the belt part and i couldn't figure it out. by now, all the kids were home, the carpets were all wet and messy, and i was SOO frustrated. i called the professor and he asked me dumb questions like is it plugged in and is the button switched for carpets. i was snotty. finally, he asked what i would like him to do. and, i told him, i want you to come home and RESCUE me from my mess.

he came home and with a sweet smile told me i just needed to put the lid on the water container and then it would work. seriously.
i wish that i could have just figured that out on my own.
but, if i can't ride on my own yet... i choose the professor for my tandem partner.
or lifeguard, whatever analogy you prefer.
[i'll tell you, when i saw him washing my carpets i loved him 100 times more than i did the day i married him...]
so, if i'm trying to find a theme for this post, i'd go with...
if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

here's my new life analogy (i came up with this while i was vacuuming...)

life is like Water Skiing...
There are times that you are up and looking good, and times that you are in the water.
Getting up is the hardest.
When you look around you, everyone else seems to be skiing beautifully.
But, no one can ski forever... Everyone spends time in the water with a wedgie.

So, now, i don't think i'm a looser during the times i'm struggling to get my skis underneath me.
And, i'll try to enjoy the moments that i'm skiing.
And... today, I'm going to remember that practice makes perfect.
and that
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier. Not that the task itself has become easier, But that our ability to perform it has improved." Ralf Waldo Emmerson
and tomorrow,
i may just be an step-aerobic, water skiing, carpet cleaning, bull-riding, wonder of a woman!!
(or, i may just decide to forget about step-aerobics and eat another dang apple bar.
either way, life is good.)

UPDATE-- So, I did the Step Class again this Friday.  And... I FELL!!!  Huge, wipeout, on my back.  Just so you know.  Really, I'm awful at step.  But... maybe I'm getting better... maybe next week I'll have a break-thru.

AP moments.

this was definitely an AP week.

you know- Advanced Placement... college level...

as i was laying in bed this morning I was thinking back to high school.

the truth is, i didn't get great grades. i was OK smart, but very distracted with life at home and not focused on chemistry equations. AP Art History was torture for a teenager in early morning seminary. I had that class right after lunch. My teacher would welcome us into his cave-like room, turn out the lights and flip through slide after slide of naked women and buildings. Some days I wonder if even he fell asleep. Instead of a textbook he handed out pillows at the beginning of the semester.

I took Japanese. (Mo ichi do itte kudasai... "Please say it again.")

AP Government- from Stalin.

AP English...

We had AP and GT (gifted and talented)... my friends were in these classes, so i took em.

it saved me.

when i applied for BYU i found out that if you had taken an AP class, BYU added 1.5 to your GPA (so a C translated to a B+), GT classes added 1 pt... (B to an A) etc. I think I ended up with a 4.2 GPA AFTER the conversion. it was great.

Last week... I got a C in an AP week. Do you think God adds 1.5 for AP weeks?

I was crazy with PTA, church, kids, 4 Valentine's Parties, missionaries, out-of-town visitors, sales at dillards, cheerleading, basketball... etc.

My house is a mess. I'm tired, but full.

Really, I should stick with the mainstream.

I have too many kids, too many commitments and I'm too busy in regular life to have company Friday, Sunday, and Monday nights.

(Yeah... 10 kids 6 adults for dinner, dessert and games. People we are just getting to know.-- One friend of mine who is getting baptized on March 7th!! and another family we just met who is considering moving to Lubbock for a PhD.)

My kids had off school yesterday... We went to see Mall Cop and Pink Panther (half in one, half in the other) with Grey's family... yup, 13 kids, 2 adults, 2 spilled containers of popcorn. Once, I saw Anna dragging Leah away from the arcade... literally dragging her across the floor. And, we were all in the car, driving out of our neighborhood, when Jakob asked, "Mom, Where's Lily?" Yup. We forgot her. She was sleeping in her car seat, all bundled up and ready to go, in our kitchen.

I asked Grey if she ever gets embarrassed walking around with her little daycare?

(Her kids ALWAYS look adorable, even in their cowboy boots and shorts outfits...)

She smiled and said, "NOPE!"

I just hope God gives extra for AP.

No. I don't exercise. Physically. But my patience muscles are smokin'.

As I look around at my after-the-party wreck of a house, my just-keep-smiling... pull-up-another-chair... muscles are sore. They're growing. I'm growing.

We were drifting off to sleep last night Todd said, "Jen, I think if you were someone who cared about a spotless-clean house you wouldn't be able to serve others as much as you do." True. But, I DO care about a spotless-clean house. It kills me sometimes when sweet little tykes come out of the bedroom with another tin of toys that Anna got down from the top of the closet. No. I can't do 30 seconds of biggest looser push-ups... but I can last a whole weekend in lunge position.

i think there are women like Grey who have earned the right to be in AP. i bet she got A's in her AP classes. there are women who don't get tired or embarrassed or crazy after a long weekend.

women who can ENJOY long weekends. who can keep their house clean all the time. who welcome company. (corrie, you're one of those AP girls.)

and then, there are women like me. who are TRYING.

trying to have fun. trying to not care about a messy house. trying to keep their house clean and their laundry put away. trying to feel sympathy for the 5 year old with a headache or the 10 year old who thinks it's not fair that he never gets to stay home sick from school. trying to convince myself that I really do want to get out of bed to start my day. trying not to strangle the child who "shared" their mega-green-pixie stick with leah.

all I've got to say is. this week i got a C... if you add 1.5 for difficulty, I'll settle for above-average.

honestly, i wouldn't change a thing. i believe the whole purpose of my existence is growth. i'd much rather be growing than stagnant. so. i like AP weeks.

and now. I'm ready for spring break. :) anyone want to go to Bahamas?

i'm gonna be the biggest looser...

Yeah... I exercise.

Two days in a row.

I know it... abs of steel in no time.

I'm doing Jillian's SHRED dvd that I got for $9 at Wal-Mart.

It's a 20 minute circuit of strength, cardio and abs.

There are no fancy dance moves and you just use hand weights.

Basic but good.

Love it.

It has 3 levels of workout and I die doing level one.

Yeah... I NEED to exercise.

just you wait to see how sexy I look in February.

ARGGGHHHH.