something fishy... PG13

The kids got a great lesson in the life cycle this week... The Professor got a new fish tank. He put our now-grown frog into the tank with his new fish. He assured us all that frogs and fish coexist all the time in fish tanks... Let's just put it this way, Cobra got renamed Killer. The kids were screaming and crying a little. Killer got put back into his little tank and we watched the hurt fish slowly die... thank goodness Petsmart has a 14 day guarantee on fish... So far, I'm lovin' the fish thing... Another little guppy died this morning. Oh, and my favorite part... The Professor got male and female guppies... It's horrible. Drew's fish (which I secretly call Hot-Pants because he has a bright red tail) spends all day chasing after the female guppy. We think she is pregnant already. The poor thing. Whenever I look at that tank and see Hot-Pants chasing the poor pregnant momma I feel like we're running a brothel. Maybe I should rename the Professor, the Pimp-Daddy. I grew up near the ocean and I've never really liked fish tanks-- I feel like we're watching Fish Hell. Mommy fishes in the ocean tell their babies, "If you are bad you may end up swimming in circles for the rest of your life trying to get away from Hot-Pants or Killer." I'm a total Nemo fan... escape, run for your lives... even the filter is better than a life of captivity... maybe the angel fish we had who refused to eat and just ended up in the filter was really a Nelson Mandela fish. To me, the fish aren't blowing kisses, they are mouthing the word "Help... Help... Help..." over and over. Do all drains really end up in the ocean? I may flush just the pregnant one... don't tell Pimp-Daddy. [Todd says this email is bordering on inappropriate. He says "They're fish honey, they're just acting on God-given instincts. How do you know the guppy doesn't like it?" I said, "If she liked it she wouldn't spend all day RUNNING away!!" Duh...] Sorry if you think this is a racy post-- imagine how I feel-- it's in MY LIVING ROOM!!