yes. i'm pregnant.

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this to all (10) of you. Because, well you know, we have 6 kids and no money. I wouldn't say it was un-planned, because we all know how these things happen, but I will say it was surprising how quickly it happened. I thought we'd wait till the professor finished school. A few months ago, the professor and i started getting that urge. I began reading blogs like this and this and just yearning to upgrade. I'm tired of seeing life as a blur... i wonder if this little gift might help us to see life through different lenses.

Although we'd been talking about it for days, weeks, even months, it was in the heat of the moment that Todd just made a decision to push send. Actually, i didn't even know what happened till the morning, and by then it was too late. (I think we were both a little high, on tax return.)

Luckily, my delivery date is only 9 days away, well 2-9 days. it's definitely a boy, but we're not sure of his name yet. We're considering W. after his godfather, or OBAMA after Todd's side of the family.

I haven't actually thrown up, but i have been feeling queasy.

excited and scared.

What if i don't feel that bond the first time i hold him?

I took classes in high school, but that was so long ago.

I feel like a first-time mommy all over again. I even checked out library books.

Luckily, unlike my last babies...

this one comes with a 14 day return policy.

pray for us.

and please, don't judge.

ooo la la...

this was my first try.

i love french manicures.

but, they're too expensive and they don't last a long time.

as part of Todd's sweet valentine's weekend,

he picked up this Loreal French tip 130 and base coat 100.

we looked on You Tube for french manicure instructions and he said he would do my nails--

(i think he was a bit jealous of the guy that did my hairy leg pedicure.)

Actually, it wasn't hard to do at all.

(I'm better than Todd even on my left hand.)

The French tip white has a brush in it that is slanted, so it's easy to paint the tip of your nails.

And, it dries fast and is very tough once it dries--

When I wanted to re-do my nails after a week, I had a hard time getting the white off with regular nail polish and had to use the 100% acetone that Todd had picked up.

I also love the pink base coat stuff...

i painted a couple coats over my nails after i did the white part and it dries really fast and isn't too thick, and it doesn't bubble up... have you ever had the kind that bubbles?

i even did my girls' nails on Sunday afternoon.

my nails are usually short and nasty.

now, i feel happy every time i catch a glance at my salon-looking nails.

love it.

friends.

meet carter. isn't this little guy adorable? both leah and I are smitten.

meet Kamryn (hannah montana shirt) and Kelsey (purple)...

they are our newest adopted cousins... Kamryn is getting baptized with her mom on March 7...

meet chad and melissa...

these are the sweet parents of Kamryn, Kelsey and Carter (i wonder if she spells carter with a k?). Yup. they're doing dishes-- at my house. Chad cooked us spaghetti with his own special sauce... anyone who cooks and cleans for me holds a special place in my heart.

melissa's eyes have been opened to a whole new world of crazy fun without alcohol, cigarettes or coffee... she says funny things like, "so what do you DO on Friday night?" we've had fun showing her a good time- Mormon style... we play a mean game of Rayman's Raving Rabbids on Wii (it's our FAVORITE game) and some hunting game (the boys love it)... and her kids have learned Moss-style Sunday charades and Sunday pictionary where we act out or draw scripture stories... love it. It's crazy at my house with my family of 8, their family of 5 and 4 elders.

[And, we only had ONE head split open. (Anna's) Luckily we have a friend in med-school that had sutchers at home... i thought i was going to get to play Dr. Quinn Medicine woman when his wife called and told me to boil water so we could sterilize his instruments. i told him i had hand-quilting thread- it's pretty sturdy. she didn't need stitches, but it would have been quite a story no?]

i've learned that you don't need alcohol to have a monday morning hangover.

help wanted.

i mean, I'd be a great Mrs. Banks-- fighting for women's votes.

i just need two cooks and... Mary Poppins.

(I seriously tried a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down-- Leah HATES medicine-- it just made another big mess. i snapped and snapped and NOTHING cleaned itself up.)

what's the brady bunch without ALICE.

yup. a big hungry, dirty mess of a place.

i'd even take Mr. Belvadere.

Apply within.

notes on my nightstand...

Mom,

Can you help me and Elisabeth clean our room?

Please, from the bottom of our hearts?

I beg of you?

Yes, No, Maybe So

Anna

AP moments.

this was definitely an AP week.

you know- Advanced Placement... college level...

as i was laying in bed this morning I was thinking back to high school.

the truth is, i didn't get great grades. i was OK smart, but very distracted with life at home and not focused on chemistry equations. AP Art History was torture for a teenager in early morning seminary. I had that class right after lunch. My teacher would welcome us into his cave-like room, turn out the lights and flip through slide after slide of naked women and buildings. Some days I wonder if even he fell asleep. Instead of a textbook he handed out pillows at the beginning of the semester.

I took Japanese. (Mo ichi do itte kudasai... "Please say it again.")

AP Government- from Stalin.

AP English...

We had AP and GT (gifted and talented)... my friends were in these classes, so i took em.

it saved me.

when i applied for BYU i found out that if you had taken an AP class, BYU added 1.5 to your GPA (so a C translated to a B+), GT classes added 1 pt... (B to an A) etc. I think I ended up with a 4.2 GPA AFTER the conversion. it was great.

Last week... I got a C in an AP week. Do you think God adds 1.5 for AP weeks?

I was crazy with PTA, church, kids, 4 Valentine's Parties, missionaries, out-of-town visitors, sales at dillards, cheerleading, basketball... etc.

My house is a mess. I'm tired, but full.

Really, I should stick with the mainstream.

I have too many kids, too many commitments and I'm too busy in regular life to have company Friday, Sunday, and Monday nights.

(Yeah... 10 kids 6 adults for dinner, dessert and games. People we are just getting to know.-- One friend of mine who is getting baptized on March 7th!! and another family we just met who is considering moving to Lubbock for a PhD.)

My kids had off school yesterday... We went to see Mall Cop and Pink Panther (half in one, half in the other) with Grey's family... yup, 13 kids, 2 adults, 2 spilled containers of popcorn. Once, I saw Anna dragging Leah away from the arcade... literally dragging her across the floor. And, we were all in the car, driving out of our neighborhood, when Jakob asked, "Mom, Where's Lily?" Yup. We forgot her. She was sleeping in her car seat, all bundled up and ready to go, in our kitchen.

I asked Grey if she ever gets embarrassed walking around with her little daycare?

(Her kids ALWAYS look adorable, even in their cowboy boots and shorts outfits...)

She smiled and said, "NOPE!"

I just hope God gives extra for AP.

No. I don't exercise. Physically. But my patience muscles are smokin'.

As I look around at my after-the-party wreck of a house, my just-keep-smiling... pull-up-another-chair... muscles are sore. They're growing. I'm growing.

We were drifting off to sleep last night Todd said, "Jen, I think if you were someone who cared about a spotless-clean house you wouldn't be able to serve others as much as you do." True. But, I DO care about a spotless-clean house. It kills me sometimes when sweet little tykes come out of the bedroom with another tin of toys that Anna got down from the top of the closet. No. I can't do 30 seconds of biggest looser push-ups... but I can last a whole weekend in lunge position.

i think there are women like Grey who have earned the right to be in AP. i bet she got A's in her AP classes. there are women who don't get tired or embarrassed or crazy after a long weekend.

women who can ENJOY long weekends. who can keep their house clean all the time. who welcome company. (corrie, you're one of those AP girls.)

and then, there are women like me. who are TRYING.

trying to have fun. trying to not care about a messy house. trying to keep their house clean and their laundry put away. trying to feel sympathy for the 5 year old with a headache or the 10 year old who thinks it's not fair that he never gets to stay home sick from school. trying to convince myself that I really do want to get out of bed to start my day. trying not to strangle the child who "shared" their mega-green-pixie stick with leah.

all I've got to say is. this week i got a C... if you add 1.5 for difficulty, I'll settle for above-average.

honestly, i wouldn't change a thing. i believe the whole purpose of my existence is growth. i'd much rather be growing than stagnant. so. i like AP weeks.

and now. I'm ready for spring break. :) anyone want to go to Bahamas?

lotsa lovin'

Happy Love Day from our home to yours...

(whoa. foreheads!)

moments.

just goofin'... playin' some sunday pictionary... 'girls gone wild' with the camera...

blowin' bubbles with the nebulizer...

we had a good weekend.

how about you?

what i like about you...

Can you believe it? I have a 10 year old.

double digits.

my crazy doctor day was also jakob's 10th birthday.

yes, he did get white cupcakes with white frosting and RED sprinkles.

(Black and Red are his favorite colors.)

and, IBC root beer in glass jars.

he said it was the coolest birthday any kid at school has had. :)

and, egg rolls and fried rice for dinner.

and, wii pokemon games and bakugon and some new controllers...

i don't know, todd was in charge of the boy gifts

to be honest, i'm not a big fan of 8 and 9 year olds.

but so far, i'm lovin' 10.

my baby is growing up.

we lived near grandma and grandpa moss for the first 3 years of jakob's life.

once i came home to find grandma in tears. she was wondering if jakob was one of those special kids who die young because they are too good for this life.

that's my jakob.

everyone loves him.

he's sweet, he's funny, he's smart and athletic, and he's got moves.

yes. he's a bit sassy at times.

and, he's constantly kicking a ball or throwing a ball or touching someone.

but overall, i really like him.

so, in honor of this momentous day i thought i'd share with you--

10 things i like about jakob...

1. He's completely self motivated. He's always gotten straight A's. He does his own homework without any motivation from me. He cares about assignments and projects and stuff. He comes to me when he needs a paper signed or wants to practice spelling words. I know he will be a successful man because he is such a self motivated kid.

2. He's dependable. Like his daddy, he's scheduled. Everyday he comes home, practices his piano, takes out the trash, does his homework and goes out to play. I love it.

3. He tries soo hard. Jakob is the only kid in school who is in both the GT and Dyslexia program. Reading, writing and spelling don't come easy for him. But, he tries hard. Once at a soccer practice, he was trying so hard to run faster that he had tears streaming down his face.

4. He's a super-sweet brother. As the oldest of 6, Jakob is adorable with little kids. He can coax the most stubborn toddler into a coat. He loves lovin' on babies. He's really good at the bounce hold when i need him to distract a hungry baby just until i finish making dinner. A woman up at school told me that her little girl was scared to go down the slide. She was just about to climb the ladder herself when Jakob lovingly picked up the toddler, set her on his lap and slid down the slide with her. He's adorable.

5. His side of the room is always clean.

6. He's funny. Seriously. He gets my jokes. He laughs at the funny things his brothers and sisters do. And, he tells some pretty good jokes. And, he's not afraid to dress-up in silly outfits or put pig tails in his hair on crazy hair day or wear my socks... even if they're pink.

7. He's confident. Jakob says things like, "Pretty much every girl in 4th grade is in love with me." And, "I'm basically the 3rd fasted kid in the school." i lOVE confidence.

8. He's social. Jakob plans our social calender. He's always setting up play dates with his friends, or suggesting families we can invite over for dinner. He travels the neighborhood playing with friends on every block. He's definitely a team player.

9. He has a kind heart. He always befriends the kids without any friends. In Kindergarten he brought an extra pair of jammies on pajama day for his friend that didn't have any. He's just like that.

10. He gets it. Always. We do get into battles of will, he fights with drew, he's sassy and defiant... but, he always softens. It doesn't take too long and I'll hear a sweet knock at my door. It Jakob coming to say sorry and give me a hug. He's strong willed, but he thaws and he sees what we're trying to teach him. He's easy to forgive and he forgives others easily. I love that.

Jakob.

He's a good thing.

I'm so grateful to have him as the oldest in our family.

10 down... looking forward to the next 100.

sick n stuff.

so, what did you do yesterday? yeah. i went to the doctors. all day. with 3 kids. yes, i was there two days ago also, with 2 kids. one kid overlapped. it's mathematical. yup. 2 kids had xrays 2 kids got blood work, 3 arms worth, one shot in the leg and one high-tech electro-nose suction. 2 you're-going-to-the-hospital-right-now scares. lotsa diagnoses. rsv pneumonia walking pneumonia sinusitis asthma flu cont. way-too-many kids in your family i'm home now. with a LOT of medicine. it only took 700 trips to the pharmacy, and they still haven't gotten me drew's antibiotic. but, we do have our year supply of albuterol. and another doctor appointment today. Yeee Haw!! just livin' the dream. and. my nails look great! and. the professor is mad 'cause my ex-friend Jillian charged me $52 for my 30-day free membership. it's probably my fault. so, now I'll be on hold half the day crying to Jillian's customer service representatives. at least I get to hear Jillian's soothing voice tell me that my call is really, really important to her. love it. [update-- yup. $52 refund. the tides are turning. the professor is happy again. 5 points for Jillian.] [update2-- i shaved my legs. cause you never know when a random guy might rub em.]

things that make me lip smackin' happy...

Hmmm. What's different about this mama? is it the hair? is it the sweet french nails? is it the smokin' hot toes? yup. I had a morning at the spa. (Well, Hair Cuttery and La Filipino Nail Salon...) Let me tell you, that sweet little foreign speaking guy EARNED his $35 dollars. (ok. it was $45 in the end because french manicure costs more and i needed $5 callus remover on my heals. ok. for real it cost $50 because i needed to tip the guy and i'm trying to pretend that i'm a spa girl not a poor mama of 6... writing down $47.50 was just too hard. And, what was i supposed to do AFTER i was done and he hands me a receipt for $45 not $35-- stand up and say WAIT. YOU LIE. The sign in the window says $35. i can't do it, so we just ignore the sudden inflation and i tell everyone that it is worth the $35 i thought i was going to pay. in fact, i tell myself it was worth $35 and soon i will forget that it really cost more... it works girls.) So, where was I... Let me tell you, that sweet little foreign guy EARNED his $35 dollars. Because you know, I didn't plan on a manicure/pedicure. I mentioned it to Todd on the way home from my haircut and he said go for it. So, I had shoes and socks on AND... i haven't shaved my legs. SERIOUSLY. I really don't hardly ever shave in the winter. Todd doesn't notice and I'm not uber hairy or anything... my hair may not be dark, but it was LONG and NASTY. That guy told me to sit down, took off my nasty, sweaty socks and shoes, PULLED MY JEANS UP OVER MY KNEES and gave me a whole to-the-knee leg massage. Yeah. Hairy legs and all. poor man. i wanted to stop him and save him the agony. Instead I just pretended I was very interested in the fish tank. And, I did need to concentrate so hard on the fish tank because I'm SUPER ticklish. I don't understand how everyone else can just sit there while people rub and scrub the bottoms of their feet. I'm so ticklish that even the nail guy was laughing like a girl at me. How do you keep a straight face? For real. It's tickle torture. But I am looking forward climbing in bed and not feeling my heels catch on the sheets. i hate that. That's all i have for you. It was wonderful. I want to do something like this for myself once a month. Have you ever had a facial? a massage? for me, i'd rather do something like this than go out to eat. Do you think I can convince Todd that talking to me while I get a manicure can count for our weekly date? Oh. And, do you ever have those moments when you just wish you had super powers? While I was getting my nails done, I REALLY wanted the gift of tongues. I would have loved to just start clicking away... "I can hear you talking about my hairy legs to your girlfriend. Rude." That really is all. Overall it was a GREAT day. I feel happy and refreshed and valued. Since I was having a great day, i thought I'd pay it forward. Leah ended up with a lip smackin' good day too... only hers was CHOCOLATE covered... mmm. brownies and ice cream. nothin' better. (except maybe a manicure and hairy-legged pedicure.)

100 day!!

i love that the schools here in lubbock ALWAYS find a reason to dress-up. yup. you guessed it. it's the 100th day of school. 1st graders had to dress-up like they were 100 years old. here's grammy anna... the other kids had to wear 100... ellie made her own 100 mask that we taped to a pair of sunglasses. and, she has 100 beads on her necklace.

drew has 100 stripes on his shirt and 100 pennies in his pocket... which was what he wanted UNTIL they were on their way out the door and he decided he needed 100 beads to wear. i quickly counted them out and safety pinned them on his belly. he didn't feel too hot this morning, i won't be surprised if i get a call from mrs. martha-- our favorite school nurse.

and, jakob-- 100 safety pins (and 100 pennies also in his pocket.)

100 reasons to love these guys every day...

sick babies...

So. While i was in Virginia, Todd was home with some sick babies. Leah had the flu. The real flu. And, Anna just had an infection. (Todd even took them to the doctors... by himself!) I found these images waiting on my camera when i got home... oooooo don't you just want to love on em? (i love the arms behind her head.)

(i love that she's wearing her mommy-sewn cowpoke skirt.) and, it looks like they managed to have some fun, once the medicine kicked in...

OH- I JUST LOVE A MAN THAT'S NOT AFRAID OF A LITTLE PRETTY, PRETTY PRINCESS. So. What have i been doing since i've been home??

yup. lily is sick. rsv. it's SOOO sad. but, she's sweet.

life. gotta love it?!