thou shalt not covet.

1. the professor finds beauty...

i take pictures all the time.  it is rare for the professor to exclaim, "quick, get me the camera."
today, he found beauty.

2. did i tell you, I LOVE WATER COLORS!!??

3. cute, sick boy.

ps.  i HATE doctors who make me take each kid in... when THREE KIDS in a family have strep, and another one comes home from school with a sore throat, chances are, IT'S STREP.  please.  just call in a damn prescription.  HATE it.
4.  note to self-- Lily doesn't like V8

and... some more random deep thoughts.
5.  my hardest commandment... THOU SHALT NOT COVET.
it's hard for me.  i have this slippery slope.
life is good...
     i'm grateful for...
            i'm content...
                  i'm wanting...
                         someday i'll have...
                                i'm coveting...
                                     and, my life stinks.
it's hard not to covet.  it's hard to be content.  and, it's hard to remember to be grateful.
but when i slip into the i wants...  everything sucks.  there is no relief.
i can spend $500 at target and there is no relief... it's a hunger that spreads quickly... from one thing to the next... you finish one project only to list out 10 more that you want...  coveting is an unsatiable hunger.
gratitude, on the other hand, is filling.  no matter how much is on your plate, it seems like more.  life is enough.  your cup runneth over.  with a grateful heart you are full on less and happy.  less is more.

there are times when i feel very, very poor.  i do a very good barefoot and pregnant mormon martyr impression.  these days i envision myself "holding on to the iron rod"  walking towards the tree of life, the love of God... many are pressing forward nobley, and me... writhing on the ground, crying, saying "but it's just so hard"  over and over.  finally, some dear friend may glance at my self-pity tantrum and say, "Jen, why don't you just stand up and walk... it's really not that bad without all the drama."  a lightbulb moment.  i rise and walk, and it's not that bad.  till a few days later when i forget and lapse into my "it's just so hard to fold laundry pity party."  there are times when i can't stand my children, my husband, my life. i want to escape forever in an expensive, clean, italian villa with just ME, alone, with lots of books, fancy clothes.  maybe meet a rich, graduated Mr. Darcy?  (ps.  i would just love him and leave him.  because i've NEVER tried the bad girl role.  and, everyone needs a few bad girl stories in their repetoire') 

but, there are days when i feel rich.  honestly, richer than queens and kings.  (i've NEVER coveted the life of Princess Diana.)  never.  there are days when i hold my chubby babies, cuddle with my girls, laugh with my boys, just be with my prince... and i am eternally content.  not just content, grateful.  there are moments when i look around at the kid art framed on my walls, the girls coloring at my counter, the girly love notes hidden under my pillow, the piano music overflowing it's basket near my garage sale $200 piano... and i KNOW that my life is EXACTLY what i always wanted.  there are moments (like this) when i LOVE laundry.  i am a joyful mother of children.  i have a great man beside me... i have NEVER met one i adore more.  a beautiful home.  we are blessed.  i am rich.


today i shall not covet.  i shall give thanks.
and, count my many blessings.
and pray for a content heart.
i will enjoy my todays, not spend today dreaming of somedays...

today.  i will be grateful and full.

ps.  as i was feeding my brood lunch, putting the babies down for naps, and picking up the toys scattered throughout my living room, i thought of another thing i'll do today...
today.  i will enjoy being YOUNG and not wish i was ALL GROWN UP.
i imagine that many of my desires today will be realized tomorrow...
the trick for me... be patient, be grateful and enjoy the moments.
i love what i am today.
and, i'm patient to see what i'll be when i'm all grown up.
and, i love what we all are today... my kids, my husband, my friends...  how fun to see what we all become as we grow up.

remembering grace.

i went to the temple tonight.
in the temple, we wear all white, it's beautiful and pure and clean.

while i was putting on my white temple dress, i got lipstick right on the front.
i was hoping it was on the inside so you wouldn't be able to see it.
nope.
red. right in the middle of my chest.
i was embarrased, but tried not to think about it.
but, nonetheless, the stain stayed in my mind.  in plain view.
i thought about my life.
i'm sometimes stained with sin,
but, most often, i'm just dumb.
i do things before i think about them.
i say things that are unintentionally insensitive.
i'm impatient or lazy or silly...
like a big lipstick stain on the front of my white dress.
i'm often embarrassed by my shortcomings.

i thought about the atonement of Christ.
Wikipedia says, "The Hebrew word translated as atonement literally means "to cover" or "covering"."
(i was surprised that Wikipedia has a really good description on the LDS view of the atonement, you can read it here...)

i thought about how Christ's atonement covers my sins AND my lipstick stains.
i felt loved and saved and clean and grateful for a COVER... an eternal covering.
One who is enough who can cover all the areas that i'm not enough.
today, i'm so grateful for His covering.

only the first time we go to the temple, we go for ourselves.  after that we renew our covenants by taking through names of our ancestors.  i don't think it was a coincidence that tonight, i was going through the temple for my sweet Aunt Grace.  (We named our Lily Grace after her.)
today, i'm so grateful for Grace.
and tomorrow, i'm going to wash my white dress.

anyone (besides God) know how to get out a lipstick stain?

be smart.

my kids' bathroon has lots of words in it.
i ordered these prints...  i'm still waiting for them to come!
(just 2-- wash your hands and brush your teeth...) from here.

and my trash can says TOSS, the cup says RINSE, and the soap says WASH.
i have numbers above the kids' towels... 1-6.

Leah is always confused because she is #5 but only 3 years old.
In the car yesterday she said.  "Mom, I think i'm 3 years old.  What towel number are you?"
:)  she's funny and i'm towel number 32.

today her car seat tipped over when we went around the corner (someone must have unbuckled her on accident.)
she was so funny, just laying there quietly.
when she was rescued and re-tipped upright she asked in all seriousness...
"Mom, did our car just go up in the air?"
When i told her no she insisted, "well, then how did i tip?"
cute kid.

anyway... i sewed "be clean" on my shower curtain.
it's cute.
BUT.
i should have done it on the other side so it wouldn't be hidden by the toilet.

good thing i wasn't sewing on "be smart."
clean i am.
smart... still working on it.

lighthouse view...

i'm still chugging along with my painting and re-docorating. 
i THINK i'm done painting
(i even touched up all my woodwork last night!!)

the first two pictures are my HALLWAY... you can see my hallway from my living room.
i LOVE the grey/blue.
my sister-in-law has it in her house and i copied. 
it's from Columbia paints, "Lighthouse View".  Sherwin Williams bought Columbia, so if you ask them you can get them to mix it for you.

the third picture is my laundry.  it's really just the end of my kitchen, which is connected to my living room.
my house is a small ranch... with 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and one big room (kitchen, laundry, dining and living room)
i used the same color as in the hall.
my enjoy letters i cut out from contact paper and then painted over top.
it was actually a tester for the big tree i ended up doing in the little girls' room.
i'm not sure if i'll keep enjoy yet, but so far it's been fun.
that's all.
now, i have to do a fast clean cause i have a friend from pta coming over soon.  
have a great day!! 

T.G.I.S.

Ellie has strep.
and, Thank Goodness Its Strep...
because, she was KILLIN' me.
full on 1st grade tantrum because she changed her mind and wanted a different piece of German Pancakes.
super nanny bedtimes
big battles over wearing SHORTS and FLIP FLOPS to school in the middle of winter.
i ALMOST gave her away.
my constant prayer last week-- please help me to LOVE this child.

and then, her throat started to hurt.
and, her brains started to hurt.
and... MY brains started to hurt.
we went to the doctor and... STREP.  real-live strep.
i've never had a kid with strep before, but i do remember my brothers getting it a lot.
i remember my mom telling me that they would be HORRIBLE the week before and just when she was about to beat them, they would come down with a fever... strep every time.

so, today, i'm thanking God it was STREP.
and still praying for love!!
patience and love.
(i asked the doctor for an antibiotic that would last till she is 18!)

ps.  THIS is what Anna wore to school today.
Seriously, my mother should have NEVER let me play with dolls.  because, dolls you could dress the way you want... girls-- THEY COME WITH A MIND OF THEIR OWN.
patience and love.

love it!??

on getting older...

so, i wasn't a girly-girl in highschool.
honestly, this is a regret of mine.  i wish i had played in my mom's make-up more... or bought my own to play in.  learned to do my hair... things like that.

and, i wish i had kissed more boys... the NICMO (non-commital-make-out) kind... i was always so GOOD... i used to quote...  "the more a dollar's printed, the less each one is worth, and so it is with kisses, you've given since your birth. the more and more you give away the more your kiss is known and to all the world your kiss is cheap and your affection shown..."  BLAH... i should've just kissed em.  but this is another story.  and, don't tell my girls that i said that.

 
my mom bought me clinique face stuff... but i didn't know how to do real make-up till my friend Saline (a Mary-Kay consultant) came over and showed me how to make an aligator mouth on my eyelids.  i was 25.

in college my friends, the Gressels stayed with me for a week and as a thank you they left me a bag of make-up.
and, once my Aunt Sue sent me a whole bunch of stuff she had but didn't use.
i remember the professor buying me some make-up and hot rollers for christmas when we were were first married, "i think girls are supposed to use this stuff" i remember him saying to me.
in general, i've never thought about make-up much...
till i hit 30.
i'm 32 now and i can see the darker spots that come from years and years of burning in the hot summer sun at the pool.
and, i care about my skin now.
maybe it's texas.  there are MANY beautiful texan woman.
maybe it's that i have a lot of kids and i don't want to look like the peanut-butter kid mother.

so.  for christmas i asked for make-up.
ulta mineral make-up.
it was more than i had ever spent on make-up before.
and, i think i like it.
the professor likes it.  sometimes i spend 15 minutes putting on make-up and when i'm done i can't tell a big difference.
but i suppose that's good.
you can decide...

and... i love advice, so if you have any girly-girl tips that i missed in highschool... feel free to share.
and... i need a new hair idea... any suggestions?
have a great monday!

God.

as i've been studying the creation story again, i've been born again, again.

i know that God lives.  that He organized and created the universe, the atmosphere, the rocks, the waters, the animals and man.
He is a God.
and yet, in all His Greatness, He knows me.  He knows my name, He knows my strengths and my weakness, and... He talks to me.
Little things, like "turn right here" when i'm late.  big things like, "you are mine.  you are good.  you are loved.  we can do it together." when my house is a mess, and i've damaged my children's self esteem with my impatience.
God whispers to my heart... love them, hold them, teach them, forgive them.
He teaches me... to forget my list and serve others, to remember the people, the relationships.
He helps me to see and to love and to feel the joy.

i am in awe of my God and my Savior.  and, knowing that they can know and love ALL of their millions and thousands of creations, gives me hope that they can help me know and love my six.

yes.  i believe in creation.  i believe in a creator.  i am loved by a Father, a Heavenly Father.
and today, i'm grateful.

i love this quote by Elder Russell M. Nelson... 

"Could an explosion in a printing shop produce a dictionary?  It's unthinkable!  One might argue that it is within a remote realm of possibility, but even if that could happen, such a dictionary could certainly not heal its own torn pages, renew its own own worn corners, or reproduce its own subsequent editions. We are children of God, created by him and formed in his image."

nesting a new year...

i always do this...
i get the itch and i start to remodel and paint and hang pictures.
i think it's the new year, new birth thing.

i re-painted my ALIEN green bathroom to a mild green and i painted my halway grey-blue.
i like it.
and, i really did it almost all by myself.
the professor didn't WANT to help because he didn't want to paint the bathroom alien green in the first place...  who needs him anyway.
and, so i put the kids to bed, put on a book on CD and had a very delightful evening cutting in with my new $3.99 paintbrush that i love.

i don't have any pictures yet, but i'll get them.
and, i ORDERED my canvas and prints... i'm SO EXCITED to show you pictures when it's all hung.

today, i like change.

ps-- speaking of change... i'm kinda liking the gym.  i told my ankle problems to my friend (Steve Pincock, the Tech Trainer, yeah, i'm kinda famous) and he said it was a TENDON and it hurt because i wasn't warming up well.  So now, I cut my toenails short, i stretch better, and i walk 5 minutes before i run and TAH DAH-- no pain.  Well, minor lazy-butte pain, just not real hurting pain.

grateful for change. 

option 5???

i know, i'm annoying.

i had my decision all made... i had my shopping cart all loaded and i just couldn't push send.
i couldn't.

and then...
i found this one on the disk of pictures.
and...
i kinda like it the best?
it reminds me of eternity.
(with drew and leah's funny grins...)

blah.  decisions.

yummy blowouts!!

"I see."  Said the Blind Woman

THIS is why my mom told me to poke holes in baked potatoes... 

"I Stink."  Said the fussy baby.

This is why we start potty training at 18 months!

yummy!

have you VOTED??  (see below)

the professor adds an option...

because i believe in equality, and because i have an OPINIONATED husband... i add option 4.  The professor's choice.
it's cute... i could do it... what do you think 
(i don't like that he has his hand on my tummy-- i'm NOT pregnant... and, i don't like leah's messy hair.  but, i do like the overall layout.)

what's your vote??

ok... i'm trying to figure out what family pics to do on my dining room wall, and i want to know what you think!

i think i'm going to do a really big canvas from here... with two 8x10's on the side.  I think the 8x10's will be framed, but i might do all 3 on canvas.

Here are my three options...  i kinda want my big picture to be different...

PLEASE VOTE-- even if you are a blog stalker!!

 

PS-- If you don't like any of these options, give me another idea!  I can mix and match...

PPS-- I'm also printing out 8x10's of the kids instead of doing school pictures... and i want to print out one big poster... i've only used Wal-mart printing and wasn't too impressed with the colors.  Do you have a great place to print out pictures??  the cheapest/best quality?  please share!!

calling all super heroes... NOTED!!

hi, this is jen.
(do you know a funny thing i do?  i always start my private prayers, "Dear Heavenly Father, it's jen."  i know He knows my voice, but...)

ok, so this is my problem.
my sister-in-law, lanette, told me that she never looses weight until she RUNS.  like 3 miles.  at 7 on the treadmill.
and now, i'm trying to run, and it's kickin' my butte'  (pronounced boo-tey).
big time.
i hate it.
but i'm workin' it and if i keep this up and i still don't loose weight then i'm DONE.  :)
i KNOW you'll tell me it's not about weight.  and, i don't care what you say.
for me, it's about NUMBERS because i want to SEE progress.
i KNOW i'm a whiner I KNOW i'm not over-weight.  but i don't care.  dang it.  i want to be able to loose 5 pounds if i put my mind to it.  and, i can't.  i can't even loose ONE pound.
this is why i NEVER exercise.  it doesn't work for me.
and... don't tell me it's what i eat.  cause, it isn't.  i eat rabbit food.  i'm very healthy.
(but i am trying to be better... i'm TRYING to go without carbs till a normal dinner...)
and... i'm sorry to any of you reading this who struggle with your weight, because i don't, and IT'S SO HARD!! i feel your pain.  and, i'm sorry that i'm skinny and whining.  and, i'm sorry to those of you who wish you could go to the gym and can't... because i can go and I HATE every minute of it.  HATE IT!!.
i pray everyday that i will like it.  i pray that God will help me get addicted to exercise.  right now, i'm addicted to "sit my lazy butte' on the couch and read a book"... but i want to be healthy and active and strong.
and i will be.  because even though i complain... i'm a strenuous striver.  i keep on keepin' on.


back to my problem.
MY TOES HURT.
really only my middle toe on my right foot.
(yes, my middle toe is longer than my big toe.)
it feels like my nail is going to come off.
i don't think that my shoes are too small.
maybe it's normal.  maybe i'm running wrong...

and now, my right ankle is hurting.
i don't think i'm injured, just that i could injure myself if i don't do something different.

(i am pigeoned toed... does that have anything to do with it?)
it may have to do with the 2 times i've fallen off the stupid treadmill.
yes really.
i'm quite coordinated.
(my cd player broke and then i couldn't find the cd... it was in the row ahead of me... my cd player and me went backwards... the cd went forward.  no more "gene r cook, teaching by the spirit" while i'm cussing under my breathe...  these details were for shelley... have a good laugh baby, i fall because when i run for a minute i start to get a little pride and God humbles me... thwack.)
any tips on how i can not loose the one week i've already invested on faster running... and still be sure i don't hurt my ankle more?

so, sore toe, sore ankle.
honestly... my WHOLE stinkin' body is in pain.  i walk like an 80 year old woman.  but, the toe and the ankle are my only concerns at the moment.

can you help?
any tips??

ps.  really i'm grateful for my sore, lazy body... we're getting stronger together. slowly but surely.

NOTE--- I LOVE reading your running comments!!  I LOVE advice, so please keep commenting if you think of anything else.  I cut my toenails really short, AND, they don't hurt anymore.

I'm not sure yet if i need new shoes, i do have pretty good running shoes (thank you tjmax), but they might not be right for my feet.  OR... i may just have a minor injury from my death-defying leap from the attacking tredmill.

AND... i tried running outside.

it was a beautiful foggy morning, the professor and i got our lazy bums out of bed and ran around a pond... the trees were romantic and the geese cheered us on.  it was still HELL.  but a better HELL than the gym.  (and, i can tell i'm getting better because my whole body didn't ache yesterday... just my ankle... progress!!) someday i may like to run.  today, i like trying to like to run.

(ps.  the professor and i tried a spinning class when we first joined the gym... the class itself was fine, but we were so sore- between the legs- afterwards that i could hardly wipe my bottom when i pottied.  and, it wasn't great for our intimate life... OWCH!!  maybe, when i'm braver, i'll try again.)

my life in pictures... makin bread

my kids LOVE dough... isn't that funny?  i mean, cookie dough i can understand, but bread dough?  blah.

i love being home with two little ones.  LOVE it. 
i'm grateful everyday for these sweet together moments.
i'm so blessed.

love these...

BAGS-- in the fall i saved up $20 and bought 10 of these re-usabe grocery shopping bags.  i LOVE them!!  they almost always hold ALL my groceries, cause they're great.  and, they're cute.  and, they keep everything standing up, not all scrunched together.  love these!  (ps.  i LOVE the grocery store, not going grocery shopping, just being there, in the PRODUCE section.  yes, it's exhausting, but honestly... i can't go to the store without thanking God for this land that i live in... the bounty that is ours.  bananas, peaches, strawberries, mangos, oranges, pineapple... in the WINTER... in TEXAS.  love it.)

LEMON JUICER--  i LOVE this.  i have bought at least 10 different kinds of lemon juicers, just because i like lemon water, and i don't like the peel taste, and i heard drinking lemon water will help you loose weight... anyway, i hate them all.  because they break or don't work.  this ceramic one is the best.  and, it's so cute.  love it.

WATER COLORS-- who can resist water colors?  i LOVE little kid water colors.  love them.  even when they drop on the floor and splatter everywhere (you know you love wiping up spilled water colors with paper towels and seeing all the colors... and, how fun is it to watch the colors in the sink when you're rinsing paint brushes and little fingers.)  i love watching little kids pick their colors and draw lines and squiggles, but by far the best part is watching the water cup turn colors.  love em!!

2010 family scripture plan... and why i believe in modern-day revelation

i'm excited to start a new year of scripture study and plans with my kids.
we are going to tackle the OLD TESTAMENT this year for morning scripture study.
yeah, i know. 
we'll be keeping up with the gospel doctrine lessons each week...
and FRIDAYS, we're doing scripture mastery.  
Memorizing one scripture and playing games.
So fun!! 
My kids memorize fast when I make a poster with the scripture reference and the first letter of each word in the scripture. 
for example, the first scripture was
Moses 1:39  For behold, this is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.
I would write... Moses 1:39  F  b, t i m w a m g t b t p t i a e l o m.
and we just repeat it over and over.
I also LOVE this link...   where you can find SONGS to go with each of the scripture master scriptures.

EVERYONE should learn this cute song about the 10 commandments!

We are also having a lesson tomorrow night on personal scripture study.  I bought a workbook by Bradley R. Wilde (i can't find it online), for each of the kids.  It has questions about each of the chapters in the Book of Mormon.  When the kids have READ the chapter and answered the questions they get to put a sticker on their Reading Chart.

I USED THIS CHART... that i found on this website  www.laceyloub.blogspot.com  
and just stuck it in my Family Binder.

We're doing one chapter a week from the new Gospel Principles manual for family home evening.  I'm excited to get back to the basics with my kids.

Just a note to my non-mormon friends...  As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe in modern-day revelation.  I believe that the King James Version of the Bible is the most correct translation of the Bible, and I believe in additional scripture, including the Book of Mormon which is a record of Christ's dealings with the people on the American continent when he came to earth.  I also believe that we have a modern-day prophet on the earth today.  I believe that God is real and that He speaks to men.  He has spoken to men since the time of Adam and He continues to guide and direct us through a modern-day prophet.  I believe that he is constant and consistent.  He spoke His Word then,  to many peoples, and He speaks still.  Ancient scripture, modern-day revelation, and most importantly the sweet promptings of the Spirit that I receive daily, have all combined to teach me all that I know of God and His Son Jesus Christ.  So, when I quote scriptures that you may not have heard...  this is why.  But I do KNOW that the God I worship is the same God that you worship.  His words are the same and are familiar no matter where or when they are spoken. 

home sweet home. 2010.

i was running to the bathroom, after our last 9 hour leg from Gallup, New Mexico...
but, the first few steps into my home were still magical.
MY HOUSE, after 3 weeks of visiting.

i love holidays, and road trips, and family...
(wish we could all live on the same block!!)
but, it is nice to be home.
we drove 21 hours home, our little suburban packed full of Christmas and kids...
of the 21 hours only 30 minutes were hell... the rest of the time was... a trip.
a good trip. 
with lots of snacks, two tv/dvds, books on tape, knitting, barbies, gameboys, a bag of crafts, and interesting rest stops.
the professor even bought me some fun jewlery from a Navajo family who approached him at a gas station trying to earn some money for their travel.

YES, we did sing the Messiah (with the sheet music i printed out before we left).
all those of you who doubted my grand messiah plans...  we did it, and it was fun.
well, mostly fun.
the girls did cry at first because they were lost with the sheet music, but i did a quick trade with drew-- he hopped into the front and i climbed into row 2 between leah and lily's carseats, and sat backwards using my finger to lead them through the Messiah's soprano line.

my life is like the messiah... mostly fun, with a few minutes of screaming, quick recovery and the HOPE that all we remember will be the good parts.

it didn't take long for my home sweet home feeling to fade into... dinner, bedtime, and plans for tomorrow unpacking and putting away christmas decorations...
i'm tired and excited just thinking about tomorrow.

i wish i could keep that home sweet home feeling a little longer.
perhaps tomorrow, when all the DOING is done and my home is in order, we can light a fire and warm some cider and just breathe in HOME.
nope.
i'm going to start right now.
even with the pile of suitcases in my living room... i'm going to pause, hear the quiet... appreciate my cute, husband waiting for me in bed... love my energetic, smart, adorable children who are sprawled out IN THEIR OWN beds tonight...  i'm going to slip into my pjs, read a new christmas book and just enjoy HOME.  my bed, my pillow, my family.

this year, i'm going to try to focus on my strengths not my weaknesses.
i'm going to enjoy my life now and not dream of better days.
i'm going to see the angel parts of those around me and overlook the rough edges.
this year... starting today.  i'm going to love my home. my life. who i am.
yes.  there is always tomorrow, and hopefully tomorrow will bring improvements.
but today.
i'm so grateful to be home.

sunday thoughts... "worship me"

I believe in God and Christ and I believe in Satan.  I believe there is and always has been darkness and light, good and evil.  When I live accourding to what I know, I am happy.  When I sin and rationalize, justify and excuse myself, I am not happy.  When I listen to the sweet peaceful encouragements of the Spirit I feel energized, happy and hopeful.  Often I am prompted to change, but with that prompting comes knowledge that I am loved and that I am good.  I have also felt the dark whisperings of the advesary.  He reminds me of my weakness, my faults, my selfishness, my laziness.  He shows me all that I have not accomplished.  When I listen, I am discouraged, dark and hopeless.  Today I want to remember these differences.  I want to be able to judge the thoughts that come into my head and I want to dwell in light and truth.  I want to cast out the darkness.  I choose to worship God in my thoughts, my actions, my prayers and my choices each day. 
I was thinking today about one of my favorite stories in Moses 1...  Moses sees God and is filled with light, glory, and vision of all he can become.
Satan comes with darkness, reminding Moses of his natural weakness, and says, "Moses, son of man, worship Me."
In Matt 4:10 Satan tempted Christ with the same words, "Worship Me."
WORSHIP...
When I looked up lots of worship references in the scriptures I think that worship often refers to humble, heartfelt prayer (see Alma 33:3).  We can worship God as we come to Him seaking and let Him fill us.
But, how do we worship Satan? 
In Alma 31 of The Book of Mormon there is an interesting story about some "saints" who were worshiping in a peculiar way... They built a large tower or Rameumptum, that they stood upon and prayed a memorized prayer to God, in their prayer they said things like we're grateful that we are choosen and better than everyone else, and that they were grateful for their wisdom that they knew there was no Christ.  These people cast the poor from their synagogs and were very pious.  The prophet Alma was grieved by their wickedness, he prayed, "Behold, O God, they cry unto thee, and yet their hearts are swallowed up in their pride.  Behold, O God, they cry unto thee with their mouths, while they are puffed up, even to greatness, with the vain things of the world.  Behold, O my God, their costly apparel... their hearts are set upon them, and yet they cry unto thee..."  Alma continues with his humble prayer, "O Lord, wilt thou give me strength... O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions... O Lord, wilt thou grant unto us that we may have success..."

I am so impressed at the contrast between the prideful rameumptom worship and the humble, pleading worship of Alma.

I have cause to stop and evaluate my own worship.  I wonder how much of my prayers are focused on worldly things.  How much of my yearning, my heart felt desire, is on selfish achievements versus humble service.  I want to worship my God more fully in humility, light and truth, in glory.  I want to be more aware of the dark, selfish thoughts that creep into my mind.  To label them as efforts of the destroyer and to cast them away.  God is light and truth.  He has a work for me to do and I am filled with hope.  I want to worship Him more fully and as I worship God I know that I will be humbly filled with His strength.  I will be able to love others more fully, to parent with his guidance and to be full of wisdom and truth.