today i am humble.
Because, this morning i took a step-aerobics class, and i am HORRIBLE.
like, stopping, tripping, laughing, horrible.
and, even though i couldn't even do what they did, i was still exhausted.
honestly, i'm an aerobic instructor's nightmare.
i was dying and then my friend said, "Good job, you made it through the warm-up."
i FAILED aerobics in college.
for real.
I got an E. isn't that worse than an F?
I took aerobics 6am, everyday, my first semester at BYU.
grand intentions... the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak.
and, we were graded on skill... like, how far past your toes you could touch.
um. E.
So, it's like i'm getting a second chance.
And, part of me wants to stick with it and see if i can pick it up.
i'll tell you one of my regrets in life. you see, i never really tried when i was in school. things came easy to me, and i skated through. i was ok with ok grades. i took a lot of credits, graduated early and had over a 3.0 GPA... but I know that I never really tried. i NEVER read my text books. i slept through many of my lectures. i used cliff notes. i crammed and then did pretty good on my test. as a young child, i never stuck with anything. i dropped violin, i dropped track, i was on the swim team and i took gymnastics for a few years, then stopped. (i could never do a cartwheel.) i asked my mom once why she didn't make me stick with anything when i was growing up. she said, "Well honey, you weren't good."
so... this is my current delima.
do i stick with this step class that is TOTALLY not in my talent area... hoping that i will improve. or, do i accept my lack of coordination and stick with the tredmill?
i've always wondered what i could have been IF i tried.
i HAVE tried hard at being a good mom and wife and a homemaker. the mother part came naturally to me, but the wife and homemaker part has taken my best effort.
i try hard EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
and now, i want to try to be good at exercising. i've never had to exercise before, so now, i'm 32 and my metabolism is changing, and i really want to figure out how to loose a few pounds.
i decided to give up sugar... treats and stuff. and so i started today. i didn't even take a treat that my new step-aerobics teacher offered at the end of class. but, when i was cooking dinner, i had this whole pan of apple bars just sitting on the counter, and i ate a small, small piece. And then, i ate another small, small piece. And now, i'm 0 for 1 on my new No Sugar Diet.
See... i'm a dropout. (but, i DIDN'T eat oreos after my kids went to bed tonight.... and it was hard, very hard not to.)
i've been wanting to clean my carperts for a couple of weeks now.
but,
by the time i get them all picked up and vacuumed, it's time for the kids to get home from school and i always talk myself out of it... planning of course to just do it tomorrow. And that has happened for 2 weeks now. So, this afternoon it was seriously 30 minutes before the kids came home and i was determined to clean my carpets. i picked up, vacuumed and filled my little bissel with water and went to work. only, it didn't work. the cleaner would spray out water, but it wasn't sucking anything up. i turned it over, i used a screwdriver to open up the belt part and i couldn't figure it out. by now, all the kids were home, the carpets were all wet and messy, and i was SOO frustrated. i called the professor and he asked me dumb questions like is it plugged in and is the button switched for carpets. i was snotty. finally, he asked what i would like him to do. and, i told him, i want you to come home and RESCUE me from my mess.
he came home and with a sweet smile told me i just needed to put the lid on the water container and then it would work. seriously.
i wish that i could have just figured that out on my own.
but, if i can't ride on my own yet... i choose the professor for my tandem partner.
or lifeguard, whatever analogy you prefer.
[i'll tell you, when i saw him washing my carpets i loved him 100 times more than i did the day i married him...]
so, if i'm trying to find a theme for this post, i'd go with...
if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
here's my new life analogy (i came up with this while i was vacuuming...)
life is like Water Skiing...
There are times that you are up and looking good, and times that you are in the water.
Getting up is the hardest.
When you look around you, everyone else seems to be skiing beautifully.
But, no one can ski forever... Everyone spends time in the water with a wedgie.
So, now, i don't think i'm a looser during the times i'm struggling to get my skis underneath me.
And, i'll try to enjoy the moments that i'm skiing.
And... today, I'm going to remember that practice makes perfect.
and that
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier. Not that the task itself has become easier, But that our ability to perform it has improved." Ralf Waldo Emmerson
and tomorrow,
i may just be an step-aerobic, water skiing, carpet cleaning, bull-riding, wonder of a woman!!
(or, i may just decide to forget about step-aerobics and eat another dang apple bar.
either way, life is good.)
UPDATE-- So, I did the Step Class again this Friday. And... I FELL!!! Huge, wipeout, on my back. Just so you know. Really, I'm awful at step. But... maybe I'm getting better... maybe next week I'll have a break-thru.
