i'm already missing our row...

This is me-- 8 and a half months pregnant, moving from Michigan to Texas. We had tons of help from friends and family, but it was still hard, and scary and exciting... we still miss our good friends, our ward, our neighbors, our house... but, we've moved on. we've made new friends, learned to love a new ward, new neighbors and a different house... And, our family has grown... we now have 2 boys from Provo, 2 girls from Michigan, and two cowgirls from Lubbock... we have grown in size, and in experience... we love it here just like we loved it there...i don't think i'll ever be as close to other moms as i was in Michigan... life changes as your kids get older... i think it was Shana who said, "You never get invited over to dinner with six kids." And, maybe Maria who smiled and swore that she USED to be as social as me when her kids were younger... now, i'm her. my kids are older and busy, and i cherish my time at home with my little girls and the quiet, peaceful, time for order. i don't crave social interaction like i used to. so, my texas friends are more phone, pta and church friends...

but, i love it here. i'm more involved in the school and community than i've ever been. we have sweet neighbors and coaches and a row at church that is reserved for us-- even if we're late. (Yes, we worked hard for that row... if any other family sat in our 2nd row reserved seats, we threatened to put a dead cat in their mailbox for Family Night... we've only killed a few cats and the bench is ours...) and, the best thing about having a bench in church is that we know our neighbors... In Michigan, we were surrounded by "family"... sweet church pew neighbors who smiled at the flying cars, funny kids and ground in cheerios... friends who loved my kids and whispered little, "They'll be great teenagers..." or, "We just love your kids..." when days got tough... It took me a whole year before i stopped looking for the Seitz, Davidsons, Herring and Laws families at church... and now i'm going to miss the Perez, Hardins, Speeds, and Hanna families... who can i whisper to grab Leah as she heads backwards under the chair during the sacrament? Who will give me a sympathetic look as Jakob scoots down the bench, far away from me with his Sunday morning grumpies? Who will be there when Jakob goes into young men's... who can say, I knew Jakob when he stripped down during the Christmas devotional at age 2 and i saw him win the pinewood derby... who will remember when Drew climbed to the top of the gym on a huge ladder for his talent, or remember the time during sacrament when the bishop got down off the stage to get Anna who was performing on the stage at the back of the gym-- we had no idea until church was over!! who will know our moments? Who will be able to look at Lily and say, "She's getting so big. She looks just like her sisters did at that age."

Todd should be finished his dissertation by DECEMBER. We'll probably be here till next summer, but his professor has already been showing him some job opportunities... it has put me in a funk.

i hate goodbyes. never mind one year of goodbye. i hate transitions. i hate the unknown.

me. i'm not a surprise-type person, i'm a 2nd row on the right type person.

i KNOW that we'll be fine. i KNOW that we will end up loving wherever we move and that we will be loved... but.

but. I hate this time. The goodbyes, the nice to meet you times. The "don't paint your walls, you're moving" time... the, is she a good mom or a bad mom evaluations... it's nice to be settled and comfortable and have a place.

we have a year to enjoy Lubbock 3rd Ward- 2nd row, on the right... and, hopefully, somewhere in the grand ole USA, there is a row just waiting for our smashed cheerios...

am i really going to spend one year saying good bye?

poo.