OK. Seriously. Remember this?
I'm a bull rider dreaming of a trail ride.
I had a few, major AHA! moments this week and I think I maybe can do this... with help.
Confession #1- I do a lot, but I am a 100% bull rider... do tons then crash, do tons then crash... My house is also a bull ride... clean for 8 hours, crash-- huge mess.
Confession #2- My coping mechanism is to numb out. It works well, sometimes. It doesn't help me deal with my perfectionistic expectations... I just ignore them.
Confession #3- I am a complete and total perfectionist. I want 12 perfectly well-mannered, well-groomed, well-educated, well-rounded kids, a perfectly clean and organized home, a large savings account, a day full of serving others, homemade clothes, quilts and bread, a husband that's happy and enamered with me on a daily basis, well-balance, home-cooked meals every night, daily communion with God for me and my family, and funny, creative, daily blog posts. :) I wouldn't mind... a small, thriving home business, an award winning PTA, a rock-solid totally excercisable body, a cute, trendy style and a cute trendy house, perhaps some politcal influence or a book on my shelf that I wrote, and many items on my shelf from our family's world travels. When my kids are teenagers I, for sure, want to take them to build a school house and dig a well in South America. :) That's all.
My GOAL-- A 21 day TRAIL RIDE. I want to change my bull-riding habits. I want to be more intentional with my plans and especially my home. I want to be able to maintain my carefree, fun-loving attitude with my children while at the same time completing small goals each day around my house. I want to FEEL a sense of accomplishment each day by completing my homemaking goals, instead of going to sleep each night with a huge mental list of everything I didn't accomplish.
My PARTNERS-- Yay!! My mother-in-law is going to help me!! She's going to call me once each day to help me set achievable goals and help me feel accomplishment. And, my super-planner friend Taniel is on-board. (Right Taneil?!) Taneil's been my mental coach for 10 years now. I tend to surround myself with super-planners-- (right Corrie?)... I try to soak in their skill without loosing my skill of riding bull with a smile. Grey- she's a dear friend, but also a super-bull-rider... i'm pretty sure she's laughing at me right now and would tell me to STOP fighting and just keep riding. Maybe most of you think that. Oh well. Poo to you, because I think I can get more balance and I don't think there is anything wrong with me trying. So, want to be my blog partners? OK... Feel free to set your own 21 day challange (I've heard it takes 21 days to make a habit...) This is mine... you can watch silently, cheer me on, or ignore these posts. I hope you will set your own 21 day challenge and let me know about it so I can cheer you on... That's one of the bad things about trail rides-- no cheers from the crowd. People think I'm AMAZING when I ride bull, but there are not many cheers at the end of the trail... Don't you want to join me on a trail ride? I'm here for you... :)
DAY ONE-
OK- my goal today is to clean my floors.
AHH... it's killing me. Cause I already cleaned out my bunny cage, it was a mess when i went to feed them this morning. Yes. this is Anna's job and she didn't do it for the past 2 days and i just couldn't wait another day. ok. baby steps, baby steps.
and... i have loads of laundry... some from last week that still need to be put away, some from yesterday that need to be folded and some that still need to be washed and dried. so. IF i finish my goal-- to clean the floors THAN i may fold some loads of laundry...
ok. one more thing. Todd really wants to take me out to lunch. fun. yes. but that means i need to get the little girls cute and dressed and not wear my "cleaning the floor" clothes for the day...
i know it's silly that i'm writing this blog instead of cleaning my floors, but i HAVE to. it's part of my therapy... :)
Am I riding bull if I have 3 goals (i mean 5)?
-2. bunny cage (cause i already did this)
-1. blog (cause i'm already doing this right now)
1. floors
2. lunch with todd
3. laundry
and, my REAL goal today was to stick all my kids' important papers into page protectors and put them into their scrap binders... but that is for another day. (and, i'm reading this crazy addictive series by Libba Bray... It's calling to me... READ ME... READ ME...) First. my goals.
NOT thinking about this Amy Butler fabric that i want to buy off etsy...
6 comments:
I think a Trail Ride is the only way to go. I'm a recovering bull rider. And now? I love the trail. I'm pretty sure it's the reason I'm not on blood pressure medicine or fighting a stomach ulcer, or getting gored by the bull.
And that goal about putting ALL of your kids important papers into binders? That's at least 4 goals if you're only counting the school aged ones. BABY STEPS Jen.
Love it! Except that I caught you checking for my comment!!!!:) Get back to those floors!
Okay, I LOVE this! I should totally follow your example, since I am the same... w/the unfortunate exception that I only can "ride bull" for about 2 hours these days w/out crashing. Anyhoo... you are SUPER motivating, and it gave me something to think about. Esp. my nasty kitchen floor. So that is my "one" goal now, today, too. YOU ROCK! P.S. Don't tell Chris (haha!)--I don't want to raise his hopes!:-)
oh, jen. we all have something - I guess. I am glad i never have stepped over that line of over achieving or being a perfectionist- because it has got to feel awful to step back down! but come join me. I promise people will still think you are AMAZING just being your chill self. I am pretty sure that the things that people think are most amazing about you are the things that are just naturally found in your personality- your ease into laughter, your ability to love others, your creativity and spunk- and not the list of things that you have accomplished. basically people love YOU. so take a breath and know that what you are is good enough- you are so much even if you are just being the minimal jen.
You have my support! Jen, Jen, she's our man(?) if she can't do it no one can >jumping, cheering, squeeling< GGGGGOOOOOOOOO JEN
Awe... Thanks for all your sweet encouragement. i think i'm going to print out these comments and read them everytime i doubt myself.
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