September 23, 2009

ode to disclosure...

as i sit down to post about my magical evening i think, only a handful of you know of the difficult week we've been through. [i don't know how to share my joy without sharing some of my heartache.] this morning i was back at the doctors (thank you to the sweet few who have saved me by loving my kiddos-jennifer, breanne, ashley, and ellie!!). i am pregnant. about 7 weeks. we are very excited about this pregnancy. but, it's not looking good. there is a 10% chance that everything will be miraculously ok. there is a 90% chance that the baby my body thinks i am carrying is not forming... growing, but not forming. the hard part is, they don't know for sure. for sure, i wouldn't end a pregnancy that may be fine. i'm grateful to be here in lubbock where they are very careful... i believe in a God of creation. i believe that He could heal and form and create within me this time like he has six times before. but, i also believe that we are here on earth to experience sickness and sorrow so that we appreciate health and joy. today, i am so grateful for the 6 amazing, beautiful, spunky, healthy children that i have been blessed with. today i am grateful for the joy that todd and i felt when we found out i was expecting again. this baby was todd's. he spent a week with the kids when i was out of town and when i came home he told me how much he loved watching them at the park, hearing them play in their room, feeding them, putting them to bed. He said, "Honey, let's have another baby." and so we did. and we will. it may be that our baby will have to wait for a healthier fetus... that's what we doing right now... just waiting. life is good. we are blessed. i am grateful for the journey. and, although the day was tough... my night was magical. thanks for sharing our life with us... and, if you think about it, mention us in your prayers.

8 comments:

ashley said...

been thinking of you all day... love you. always love your thoughts. prayers & happy thoughts sent your way...

Shelley Gee said...

Jen, my thought and prayers will be with you DAILY!!! You are so strong, and I know you will make it through this. Heavenly Father is always with you...don't forget that.

Guess what? said...

I hope hope hope everything turns out well. You are definately in my prayers. Wish I was there. ugh.
xoxoxo

sam and brittney said...

This is Brittney Strebel. Or as Ellie knows me, Mrs. Strebel. Or as Jacok and Drew know me, their scout leader. I found your blog a while ago and have been "blog stalking" you ever since. I hope that is ok. I love your blog. I love the joy that you find in everyday simple things. I love your honesty. Thanks. I think you have an amazing family. They sure set a great example at Westwind. I will be praying for you and your little baby.

Ann said...

I hope everything turns out just fine with this little one. I know the heartache when things don't go as planned. Wish I could be there to help out. We'll keep you in our prayers.

Beers said...

I too hope everything turns out to be ok. I am so impressed with how cheerful and positive you are and we are definitely keeping you in our prayers as well.

I love the funny things your kids say - I need to remember to keep notes like that too!

I added you to my blog list, I hope that's ok :)

beckyjune said...

Jen, I don't know how I missed this post. I am so sorry. I am just now reading about it because Ashley stopped by and told me a little bit about what was going on with you and why you had to go to the ER, and asked if I'd read the post on your blog, which until now I hadn't. I understand the sadness you might be going through right now but also know how strong you are and so admire your faith and courage even when things are hard. You are such an example to me. I hope and pray that things will be okay, and know that if you felt like you should have another baby, you will. You will definitely be in our prayers.

The Tremendous Thomas Family said...

Jen I just love you and pray for you and your family!

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