October 07, 2009


ok. i know, it's morbid. but, as i tucked my kids in tonight, i hugged them extra tight. i've been pondering death lately and i just wondered what my kids would remember about me if i died. i know. i shouldn't have, but i couldn't help but ask them. jakob. as he was trying to convince me (for the 100th time) to let him drop piano and take Brazillian Ji zit tsu... "You're persistent." I probed, "Is that a good or a bad thing." His response. "Depends who you ask." Drew. as he was inspecting dinner, "Most of the things you cook have only one gross thing in them." and later, as he was hugging me and stroking my hair, "I would miss all the Mom things you do." Anna. "I would miss how loving and kind you are. And, how you are always home when we come here." Ellie. "That you let me do stuff, like play." And later as I was turning the lights off at bedtime when she wasn't finished reading. "Oh, I forgot. Nothing. I would miss nothing about you... but, I would remember that you are MEAN! I WOULD remember that." Leah. "I love you, cause I like you. And, I stay in my bed. And, please, you leave the door open?" Lily. from Jakob. "It depends. She probably wouldn't remember anything about you mom. She's too young." Todd. as i'm pondering death on the the computer... "Honey, please go put girls back to bed." Love these guys. All the time. Even when I'm MEAN. (and, even when they are brats.) Life is good. I'm SO grateful for the moments. death... it's good to ponder every now and then. but, not too long. or, we miss living. now, time to cuddle little girls to sleep. again.
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