3 weeks.

eve woke up on Monday and she looked bigger.
her newborn clothes are starting to seem short.
i can tell she is growing-- from newborn to one month old.
it is so fun to get to know her, for her to become familiar.

this week has still been very hard.
eve is the fussiest baby i've had, and i'm still struggling with a bloody, raw chest.
i think if i could just heal EVERYTHING would be better.
the funny thing is, as hard as it has been for me to nurse this baby, i feel that she NEEDS me to nurse her.
the only time she is very content is when she is nursing.
and, as painful as it has been for me, it is also something that i love.
i just know things will get better sometime and i'll look back on these past few weeks a bit more sympathetic of other women who have a difficult time nursing.

because eve is a bit fussy, my other kids don't get much time to hold her.

they ask a lot but i usually say, "she has to eat" or "she has to burp" or "can't you see that she is screaming" or "not right now, she's sleeping." 
poor kids.
i'm hoping that as she gets older she will have more awake and happy times of life.

this week, the professor and eve bonded more.  one night i was just plain exhausted and i handed him the baby (usually i do the baby and he does the bigger kids).  she really calms down when he holds her-- i think it's because when i'm holding her she just wants to nurse.  it has been sweet watching them bond.

and, the best thing about this week is that eve started smiling.

she has such a cute smile-- i haven't gotten a picture of it yet.

she smiles with her mouth wide open and her nose all scrunched up... she is SO cute.

Shannon Hale, an author who recently had twin girls, said "This year has felt really, really long, but truthfully, the babies are so great.  I'm completely in their thrall.  Babies are the most deceptive, cleverest predators in nature.  I serve the baby master overlords and am happy in my captivity."

I know what she means.  I really can't describe how in love i am with this baby.  I adore her, fussy and all.  Every moment i thank God for blessing us with 7 beautiful kids.  This baby is so darling.  She has the brightest eyes and the cutest expressions.  She loves when we rub her feet and is a very sweet, tender baby.

I'm looking forward to next week-- but i will miss last week.

I really, really, really love this little girl.