the truth about happily ever after.

I have always believed that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people.

As a young girl I dreamed of marrying my prince, living in my castle and raising a happy family with many children, a dog, and blue skies.

I knew with my mind that life would not always be easy, but with my heart I believed that if I did what I knew was right I would always be happy. 

I have learned much.

And, this week, I've been remembering.

Happily ever after is hard for everyone.  In fact, the BEST people I know have lived the hardest lives.  It's the concept of the refiner's fire.  I don't love that concept.

"When through firey trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace all sufficient shall be thy supply.

The flame shall not hurt thee, I only design, Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."

(How Firm a Foundation, verse 4)

President Boyd K. Packer said,

"Some are tested by poor health, some by a body that is deformed or homely. Others are tested by handsome and healthy bodies; some by the passion of youth; others by the erosions of age.

Some suffer disappointment in marriage, family problems; others live in poverty and obscurity. Some (perhaps this is the hardest test) find ease and luxury.
All are part of the test, and there is more equality in this testing than sometimes we suspect"

I love the story from Carlfred Brodrick's book The Uses of Adversity.  He tells of a youth night where the theme was the wizard of oz.  The YW leaders were teaching, follow the yellow brick road, marry in the temple and you will live happily ever after.  They asked Brother Broderick if he had anything to add.  He said,
"Girls, this has been a beautiful program.  I commend the gospel with all of it's auxiliaries and the temple to you, but i do not want you to believe for one minute that if you keep all the commandments and live as close to the Lord as you can and do everything right... and have a temple marriage, I do not want you to believe that bad things will not happen to you.  And when that happens, I do not want you to say that God was not true.  Or to say, 'They promised me in Primary... that if I were very, very good, I would be blessed. ... Sad things-- children who are sick or developmentally handicapped, husbands who are not faithful, illnesses that can cripple, or violence, betrayals, hurts, deaths, losses-- when those things happen, do not say God is not keeping his promises to me. 

The gospel of Jesus Christ is not an insurance against pain.  It is resource in event of pain, and when that pain comes (and it will come because we came here on earth to have pain among other things), when it comes, rejoice that you have resource to deal with your pain."

I LOVE this quote!!  I love it.  And, I love remembering this principle. 
Because I am good, and capable, God lets me have growing experiences.
Because I WANT to be better, He blesses me with a life that helps me to stretch.

When you exercise, and want to increase your strength... you RIP your muscles.  And, when those tiny rips heal, your muscles are bigger.  Strength comes from stretching.

This has been my favorite poem since I was young...

Good Timber

by Douglas Malloch

The tree that never had to fight

For sun and sky and air and light,

But stood out in the open plain

And always got its share of rain,

Never became a forest king

But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil

To gain and farm his patch of soil,

Who never had to win his share

Of sun and sky and light and air,

Never became a manly man

But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:

The stronger wind, the stronger trees;

The further sky, the greater length;

The more the storm, the more the strength.

By sun and cold, by rain and snow,

In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth,

We find the patriarchs of both.

And they hold counsel with the stars

Whose broken branches show the scars

Of many winds and much of strife.

This is the common law of life.

Today, I don't have many trials.
I just have an excess of blessings.  (Hah!)

It's true...  many kids, many house showings, moving, dinner, laundry, a baby who needs me...

This is my life, and it is oh so good.

So good.

and, hard.

I'm grateful for hard.  Because I am becoming.  My patience muscles are becoming stronger.  My discernment muscles are becoming stronger.  My procrastination muscles are shrinking.  My laziness muscles are shrinking.  My selfish muscles are shrinking.
I am making my happily ever after.

I'm choosing to be HAPPY in my ever after.

Because Happily Ever After is a choice not a gift.

Because I am good, I am blessed.
I am not blessed with easy.  But, I am blessed.
Blessed with an understanding that all of life's trials are for my good.
Blessed with moments of joy.
Blessed with moments of accomplishment.
Blessed with the sweet whispering of the Spirit who says at the end of my day, "well done."
Blessed with selflessness, patience, kindness...
Blessed to see things I can improve, and how God is teaching me.
Blessed with greater charity towards those I am trying to love.

Blessed with wisdom in the moments that I need it.

Blessed with peace when I see things I can not do.
Blessed with people in my path who teach me.

Today I'm so grateful to be living my happily ever after.

I'm grateful for hard.
I'm grateful for a Savior who leads me and guides me and walks beside me.
Today, I am happy.
And, I still have to go wrangle my brood into their church clothes and pray they will not get into a fist fight during church...

yup, this is the real happily ever after.