June 19, 2011

Father's Day.

Do you know how hard it is for me to type a father's day post?

I sit here at the computer typing, while my husband is in the family room mediating arguments about gum.
(This is the fifth time I've started over.)
I hear him say, "Yes, I believe Anna should share her gum with you.  But, I am not going to force her to share."
A minute later I hear, "Thank you Anna."
My kids have the BEST dad.
They are SO lucky, and I am so grateful.

I come from a twice divorced family.
I have a biological father and a step-father (I haven't spoken with either of them in years).
I have a sister who is a single mother.
I have a mother who suffers because of her relationships with my fathers.
I have relatives who like to tell me what I should be doing differently as a daughter.
I have no idea what kind of relationship I should have with my fathers.
Father's day is both happy and sad for me.

I have often questioned what it means to be a father.
Perhaps, "father" is a title that one inherits the day he helps to create a baby.
Perhaps, "father" is a legal term that is bestowed upon the man who marries your mother.
Perhaps, "father" is more than a title... it is a role that one can choose to accept or not accept.
Divorce makes family relationships very difficult to maintain. It's sad.
It's also sad that we live in a day and age where men choose not to father and abandon their children.
And, it's a cycle.
Girls from dysfunctional families tend to create dysfunctional families themselves.

Although I am one who loves easily, I was VERY CAREFUL to marry a man who would be a great father for my future children.
I would picture each man that I dated pushing our future children on a swing.
I wanted to be able to tell my kids, "I hope you grow up to be just like your father."
And, today, I can say that.

Todd is now in the bathroom. 
His razor just turned off and I can hear him saying "AAAGGOOOOOOO" over and over to my baby. 
He laughs when she goos back to him.`
As I was typing that sentence he walked out of the bathroom with my baby in his arms.
I took this picture just now.
It's beautiful huh?!

Fatherhood is a sacred responsibility and a privilege.
As a man learns to be a Father, he becomes more and more like God.
A God who prefers the title Father over all other names.

My children will know what their Heavenly Father is like, because they have been loved and nurtured by a good earthly father.
My husband is a good father, and he was raised by a good man.
How I love my father in law.
I have learned that FATHER is not just a title. 
It is a VERB... to father.
My husband fathers daily. 
My father in law shows me what it means to father.
I am so grateful.
I have sons, that will someday grow up to be men. 
I hope they choose to become FATHERS.
I hope they learn from the example of those who have gone before them.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.  (Read The Proclamation to the World on Families here.)
There are many, many children today who don't have father's that they want to emulate.
There are many single mothers who are struggling to raise their children without the help of a good man.
And today, my heart goes out to them too.
I know one thing. 
Not everyone has a father here on earth to lead them and guide them and walk beside them..
And, that is very sad.
But each and every one of us has a Father in Heaven.
We are children of God. 
And He loves us. 
He leads us and guides us and walks beside us.
He compensates and He teaches us how to parent.
I am grateful for all that I have learned from my Father.

And now,
I am going to cook a fabulous brunch with my children and we are going to slather the man in our lives with a full day of love!!
I sure love this man.
Life is good.

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