December 08, 2011


drew plays trumpet... often.  with gusto!
boy.  i had a hard beginning to this week and i'm having a difficult time pulling myself out of it.
90% of the heartache in my life is hurting for other people, who i love, who make choices that don't bring them happiness.
it is hard.
in just a few days, my life has started to blow me over.
it's AMAZING what a difference a happy heart makes to a mother.
jakob plays drew's trumpet in jazz band-- before school tue and thur morning.
nothing in my life has changed, but i feel heavier.
a bit sad, a bit lonely.
Christmas feels heavier (even though I'm just about done with all the hard stuff).
jakob seems tiny to me with all those big kids.
this morning i got out my hymn book and sang for my morning devotional time.
it was good for my soul.
i went shopping with a sweet friend and my three kiddos.
that was good for my soul, too.
my husband cooked dinner and i went ALONE to the middle school band concert.
i love band.
i love seeing my sweet boys blowing their instruments with gusto and tapping their foot and being surrounded by other cute kids that i love.
drew is so cute with his trumpet playing friends... they all play trumpet with GUSTO!  i love it.
band was good for my soul.
jakob plays the french horn with his good friend, jared.

i'm going to bed, early.
sleep with be good for my soul.
i'm going to spend a long time on my knees tonight.
prayer is good for my soul.i love this season.
i want to feel the joy of this season.
i want my family to feel the Christmas joy.
even if we are without extended family.
life is good.
we are blessed.
Christmas is good for my soul. 

if you are hurting or lonely or sad or overwhelmed this season... know that my thoughts are with you.
it is hard being sad during the holidays.
i hope that somehow, the Spirit of Christ can conquer all of our sadness and help us be Merry and Bright.
I know He can.
(I'll pray for you and yours, you pray for me and mine-- Ok?)

Did you read my pumpkin edit yesterday?
i know all of you rushed into your dumpsters and rescued your pumpkins after that moving post...
canning pumpkin (without pressurizing it) is dangerous.
most sources don't even recommend canning it with pressure.
freezing still works.
oh, i hate it when my grand plans are not so grand after all... 

love these boys.
maybe tomorrow will be a better day...
(todd and i ended the night by sneaking away with drew to a bakery in town that is open till 9pm. 
i am so blessed and i really, really love the boys in my life.)


beckyjune said...

Jen, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now and hope that today is better. Matt commented the other day that it is still wierd to drive past where you used to live or look over to the front pew at the church and remember that you guys aren't here anymore. I hope you know how much good you did here for so many people.

Steph said...

Jen, when I read your post about hurting for other people's bad choices, tears came to my eyes. I have my own hurts right now for the choices of others. Perhaps we can gain strength from knowing we share that same challenge. Your boys are adorable.

Lanette said...

Thinking of you today.

I can just see those boys tapping their feet to the beat, watching their music and director intently, with furrowed brows!

And GUSTO is such a GREAT word!

Marie said...

It IS hard to be sad during the holidays... There's many of us out here that really ARE hurting because of the choices of others, which of course affect us because WE CARE!

Please know you and your family are in my prayers daily, Jen. Today is no different...!

And yes --- your boys are amazing! So fun to watch our kids do what they love, isn't it? As we "speak" (lol), my son is with his band in Boise for 2 weeks recording their second album. The best part, it is for the Glory of the Lord! :) It will be good to have him home again next week just in time for Christmas! Musicians on the road make for sleepless nights for mom.

We ARE blessed...

Amy said...

I just read your post and it makes me sad that you have been feeling so bad. I hope things get better.

Also, freeze the pumpkin that you already canned. It will be great!

Teachinfourth said...

Sorry for the sadness recently. I'm glad that moments like this are only temporary...

Enjoy your kids, the family you have near, and those good things in life.


Teachinfourth said...

Just thought I'd share this...

Handsfullmom said...

I love how you mention all the small things that make a difference in lifting your mood. I do have to giggle that you like listening to band. While my daughter's advanced orchestra portion of her programs is usually pretty good, the rest of the program (beginning orchestras, 7th/8th grade guitar, etc.) is usually ear-splittingly bad. =) I guess it lifts my spirits in a humorous way, though.

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