i believe in INEQUALITY.

a few months ago, a friend of mine asked for suggestions.
one of her twin daughters had been diagnosed with diabetes and had received much time and attention.
she had two other children and was looking for ideas to help them feel more loved.
(well, this is my interpretation of what she was asking, i could look it up but i'm too lazy this morning.)
i remember, "besides mom-dates, how do you show your kids you love them?"

and, i remember being quite passionate about my response.
having many children i am always focused on loving the INDIVIDUALS.
we have done mom-dates.
and, i love them.
but, after analyzing for my friend i realized one principle that i adhere to.

i believe in INEQUALITY.
i LOVE, LOVE doing things for ONE child that i don't do for everyone.
i leave a small gift and a thank you note on their pillow.
i start a mom and me journal with just one child.
i eat lunch with one.
i volunteer in one person's classroom.
i have one kid invite a friend over.
i bring home a treat from the store, or a new hair brush, or new mechanical pencils... just for one.
i love teaching my other children to be happy for their sibling, not jealous.
and i love reminding them... sometimes it is just you who gets special things.

i pay particular attention to the WANTS of my children.
they do not ask for much.  i love gifting them with things that they have mentioned they would like.
i also pay particular attention to the children who aren't overly NEEDY.
i try to figure out what they would LOVE and take a few minutes showing them that i noticed and i love them, most.
sometimes i am unequally gifting, sometimes i am unequally treating, sometimes i'm taking one to the store with me or going for a walk in the woods (i'm taking more walks this year), or painting nails, or letting one stay up late to play ping pong or boggle with just mom and dad.
really, i am a fan of inequality.

i am also a fan of rewarding the child who is making the most effort.
we don't do allowance.
but if two kids ask to have a friend over, i will say no to one and yes to another.
if the rejected child asks why their sibling got a friend, i LOVE telling them, "because all week they were helpful and happy."

i watched this clip from Glenn Beck the other day and i remembered it as i was thinking about this post.
it made me think...

Have a great day!