April 06, 2012

i'm Christian, even if you're gay.

i've been think a lot lately about truth and the society in which we live.
i read an article "i'm christian unless your gay".
and, i loved this article.
loved it. (maybe it was because first i read the response from a mother who had a son who was struggling... how my heart goes out to these young children who struggle.)
i was surprised.
{note-- in my comments i do quote the one paragraph that i don't agree with}
the tone of this article speaks what i believe MOST.
everyone deserves to be loved- not hated, judged and condemned.
no matter how they are living.
this is how i think, it is who i try to be like.
because LOVING OTHERS is what Christianity is all about.
Christ does not hate gay people.
He hates sin.  He LOVES people.
all of us.
We are, each of us, imperfect, loved and lovable.
We all deserve to be loved FIRST.
More families are torn apart from HATE than kids who struggle with something.
More families are saved by parents who LOVE imperfect children than survive because they have 'perfect' children.
to LOVE others is the GREATEST commandment.
we all struggle with something in life.
some struggle with homosexuality...
i struggle, you struggle... let us love each other in our progressing.
This was a GREAT article.
the end.
the end.
the end.

but, i can't just leave it there... why can't i?
because there is another truth that screams from the corner of my soul.
a truth that worries if we focus ALL on love we will miss part... an important part.

here is my question for you.
do you think there is a GREATER problem in the world with Christian people hating gay people OR with society as a whole teaching that there is NO RIGHT WAY? no wrong way?
is there a greater problem with hate or rampant sin?
Sin that masquerades as good.
BOTH hate and sin are products of Satan.
And, i think he is winning BOTH wars-- he's getting good people to hate and wrong people to believe there is NO wrong.
{i think there is JUST AS MUCH hate in the gay community for religious people as there is in the Christian community for gay people.  in both examples i would say only the extremists.}
our children are JUST AS AT RISK of hurt and heartache and loneliness and agony when we hate sinners as they are when we don't teach them principles that lead to a happy, healthy life.

there are TWO issues here.
1. We should LOVE gay people.
2.  We should not teach that a gay lifestyle is wrong.

I wholeheartedly believe #1 and I wholeheartedly disagree with #2.

i believe that homosexuality is not an ideal lifestyle.
in fact-- i believe that SEX OUTSIDE THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE is a sin that brings unhappiness.
but, more than ANYTHING else, i believe that EVERY person should be loved where they are.
it is not our place to judge.
"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone" John 8:7-- this is a FUNDAMENTAL belief of Christians everywhere.
and this concept applies even to those who are homosexual.
THIS is an amazing talk-- The Merciful Shall Obtain Mercy.
read it!  he quotes a bumper sticker that he saw on a car with a man who looked a bit rough.
i HATE, HATE, HATE when people use other people's imperfection to justify their (even WORSE) sin.
i am a Christian. even if your gay.
Christ's purpose was to SAVE the SINNERS.
i am a sinner.
i am saved by His grace EVERYDAY.
there are worse sins than sex outside of marriage.
if you really want me to JUDGE, i will say that two men who love each other and who are kind, charitable, good people are probably BETTER than many who profess belief in Christ with their mouths but with their actions hate, abuse and condemn.
i believe that.
i also think that promiscuity is widely accepted in America while homosexuality is still persecuted.
both are wrong.  both lead to unhappiness.  both are not healthy.  both will contribute to the downfall of our nation.

just because i think we MUST love everyone no matter what choices they are making...
just because i think that-- doesn't mean i agree with the idea that everyone should just live the life they think will make them happy.
i think we MUST teach TRUTH to our children.
and i think there is a TRUE code for happy living.
we are doing a disservice to humanity when we make morality multiple choice.

i believe it is good to teach children multiplication facts.
i don't believe that children who have not been taught their multiplication facts should be abused or judged or mistreated.
i do not believe that kids who are really good at math are BETTER than kids who struggle with math.
i honestly believe that some children are genetically not as good at math as others.
and even that the kids who struggle with math are often really, really great at other things.
But, teaching children multiplication is important and good.

similarly, i believe there is eternal FACTS that we should teach our children.
facts that are eternally more significant than multiplication.
THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
you can read the full "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" here.

i read this talk this morning as part of my personal scripture study.
i was reminded of the TRUTH that is taught.
we must hold strong to TRUTH.
as a society we must teach love and unity... but we can teach love AND at the same time teach that there is  right and wrong.
because there is RIGHT and there is WRONG.

This is from a prophet of God... Salvation-A Family Affair.
We don't hear this in today's culture.  But it is true.
I was just going to post a link-- but it is so good that i've copied it fully below.
Oh, i have much to work on...

Today we are aware of great problems in our society. The most obvious are sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, drug abuse, alcoholism, vandalism, pornography, and violence.
These grave problems are symptoms of failure in the home—the disregarding of principles and practices established by God in the very beginning.
Because some parents have departed from the principles the Lord gave for happiness and success, many families throughout the world are undergoing great stress and trauma. Many parents have been enticed to abandon their responsibilities in the home to seek after an elusive “self-fulfillment.” Some have abdicated parental responsibilities for pursuit of material things, unwilling to postpone personal gratification in the interest of their children’s welfare.
It is time to awaken to the fact that there are deliberate efforts to restructure the family along the lines of humanistic values. Images of the family and of love as depicted in television and film often portray a philosophy contrary to the commandments of God.
Innocent-sounding phrases are now used to give approval to sinful practices. Thus, the term “alternative life-style” is used to justify adultery and homosexuality, “freedom of choice” to justify abortion, “meaningful relationship” and “self-fulfillment” to justify sex outside of marriage.
If we continue with present trends, we can expect to have more emotionally disturbed young people, more divorce, more depression, and more suicide.
(hmm... he wrote this talk YEARS ago... he was a PROPHET.)
The family is the most effective place to instill lasting values in its members. Where family life is strong and based on principles and practices of the gospel of Jesus Christ, these problems do not as readily appear.
My message is to return to the God-ordained fundamentals that will ensure love, stability, and happiness in our homes."  
Here is the link to the rest of the talk...  Salvation-A Family Affair.

there is right and wrong.
we are ALL right and wrong.
Christ loves us still.
i love you.
i want to love you more.
He is teaching me how.
life is good.


Diane said...

I read that article "I'm Christian Unless You are Gay", the first day it was written. And I'd have to say that I came away feeling very differently. And honestly, by the end of your post, the author and most gay people would say that you are not "True Christian" because you said there is such a thing as sin. You also said that a home with a mother and father is superior, that would make you in the mind of the author, "hateful" and a "Bigot" In all, the author is saying there is no sin, and religion is false, and if you do not agree you are a hateful bigot. Consider the case of the preacher who was arrested in England for "hate speech" after he was asked what his views on homosexuality are. For a large portion of the gay community, simply holding the belief that homosexuality is sinful is what they claim is being hateful and homophobic. I have had some gay friends who are okay with my religious beliefs and will still be my friend and friends we are without regard to our differences of opinions. But, on the whole, most of my friends who became gay wanted me to change my religious beliefs, and when I didn't, they wouldn't come near me anymore and said it is because I hate them, even though, I had never said an unkind word. Given that you have gay family members, I suspect you have had similar experiences.

I don't usually disagree, but on the thesis of the article, "I am Christian, Unless You are Gay," I strongly disagree.

jenifer said...

diane- i went back and re-read the article. and, i still disagree with you.
i think most of the time the "pro-gay, anti-religion" people would say what you were saying. But, this is NOT what this article was saying. {i'll admit, i did start reading it with my eyes rolled and was SURPRISED that i agreed with him.)

he says, "I know there are many here who believe that living a homosexual life is a sin.


But, what does that have to do with love?

I repeat… what does that have to do with love?

Come on. Don’t we understand? Don’t we get it? To put our arm around someone who is gay, someone who has an addiction, somebody who lives a different lifestyle, someone who is not what we think they should be… doing that has nothing to do with enabling them or accepting what they do as okay by us. It has nothing to do with encouraging them in their practice of what you or I might feel or believe is wrong vs right.

It has everything to do with being a good human being. A good person. A good friend.

That’s all."

i agree with him.
i also think Christ agrees with him.
When Christ was on the earth he was harshest in condemnation of the hateful, judgmental religious leaders who were continually teaching what sin looked like and 'casting stones' on everyone below them who they felt were sinners.

You can believe that homosexuality is wrong and still wholeheartedly LOVE those who are gay.

Gay is not a worse sin than pride. In my opinion.
And, a sign that says "God hates faggots" is SO FAR from true it makes me want to paint a rainbow on my face and march with my arms around those on the other side of the street.

maybe SOME would say i am not Christian because i believe in truth, in right and wrong, in sin. but, i do agree with this article-- being Christian should NOT mean that we can't be friends with someone who believes differently that we do.
it is not my job to point out the sins of anyone around me.
it is my job to teach my children right and wrong and love them as they learn for themselves.
my opinion.

jenifer said...

ok... i finished the article again and i found one part that i don't agree with...
"I think it doesn’t matter if you or I or anybody else thinks homosexuality is a sin. It doesn’t matter if you or I think anything is a sin. It doesn’t matter if homosexuality is a sin or not. In fact, it doesn’t matter if anything anybody else does is a sin or not.

Because sin is a very personal thing! It always has been and it always will be!

And it has nothing to do with love.

Absolutely nothing."

I don't agree that SIN in a very personal thing.
(read the rest of my article above.)
i think sin is a law, an eternal law that we can learn but not create for ourselves.

BUT- i don't think SIN has anything to do with LOVE.
everyone that i love is a sinner.
i can love sinners.
God loves sinners.
Christians shouldn't hate gay people.
and "love" isn't just some demeaning, token word.
love means admire, respect, value, adore, cherish, serve...
i, absolutely, can find AMAZING, great things that i love about a person that might have some issues in the bedroom.
people are good.

jenifer said...

3 comments on a post that I wrote is just silly... I just keep thinking.

Can someone who is gay LET me love them when they know my beliefs?
In my experience, the same people who
Profess the need to love and accept every lifestyle are the most outspoken and judgmental of my lifestyle.
It's interesting isn't it?

Allie said...


Did you hear what happened at BYU this week?

It was amazing-a forum for BYU students who are gay. It was packed and they got a standing ovation.

And there is a wonderful youtube video the group has made. I think it is called "It Gets Better".

Look it up!

Sandra Butcher said...


jenifer said...

What a great link!! Go BYU!!

Sandra Butcher said...

lots of famous and not famous people have made powerful "it gets better" videos - I thought this one from BYU was really well done

Coralee said...

The author of that article did a live reading of it (in January). I think it's helpful, because you can hear how he intended it to be read as he wrote it (we can each interpret things as we read them) Just wanted to pass that along....http://www.danoah.com/2012/01/im-christian-unless-youre-gay-live-reading-by-dan-pearce.html

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