May 05, 2012

loving one.

Love the one that needs you most.
This is advice I heard long ago and have often used in my parenting.
With a large family, the one that needs me most often rotates.
But, it rotates slower than you would think.
Babies often need me most.
Big kids are busiest and need most of my time.
Some children are born needier than others.
Some children are askers.
And, some children are just gifts.  
Patient little souls that are content to serve quietly and wait for their turn to be served.
This week I was feeling a pull toward my girls.
My middle girls.
My heart ached that I had somehow missed them.
while i was putting eve to sleep, anna and ellie organized their books.  they were so excited!
On Wednesday night (my laundry day and the night the boys are at scouts), I let them stay up and have a “Girl’s Party” with me.
It was HARD for me to let them stay up, when my tendency is to rush them to sleep so I can finish my chores in peace.
I was so glad that I did.
We dumped all the laundry into a big pile and folded it.
they wanted to take pictures of them pretending to be overwhelmed with laundry...
Well, actually...
One girl ironed, one girl matched socks, two little girls just watched the movie.
I did most of the folding.
My girls may not have learned the skill of effective laundry folding that night (I made an effort NOT to bark at them all night).  
But, they DID learn that folding laundry can be fun and fast.
I taught them THAT by example.
(I have one laundry basket for each child and I just fold and throw it in the basket...  buying more baskets has made it easier for me to get things folded quickly.)
I can wash ALL my laundry in one day and fold it all in an hour and a half.
(Still working on getting it put away in a timely manner.)
Curses to track meets that last all night.
more pretend annoyance!
My girls loved our girl party.
My home FELT good.
They can’t wait for next week when we can fold together again!

Thursday my husband was out of town.
I left at 8:30am with my car full of little girls and didn’t walk back in my door till 8:30pm.
It was a crazy day full of dentist, shopping, driving for hours, long and fun track meets, piano lessons and lunch AND dinner at McDonald’s.
Crazy spring days.
(Someday I’ll write a post on how to keep little kids happy while supporting big kids.  I’m really good at this... And, my little kids LOVE big kids.  So, they do amazingly well even without naps, outside in the pouring rain, ALL DAY.)
I will miss these days some day.

On Friday, we had a morning.
I had spoken to the elementary school principal because one  of my children had told me their teacher drove them to Dairy Queen for ice cream at lunch time.
It happened to be a male teacher and a female little girl.
I was concerned.
Turns out, this story had been more fantasy than reality.
So, I went back to the principal/school counselor’s office.
With one sad little girl, two apology notes and a heart full of concern for my little “creative” child.
I have noticed a dishonest, sneaky trend lately and my heart was full of worry for this child.
I left feeling reassured.
She is in GOOD hands at that school.
The counselor said, “What concerns me most about this situation is that you are not listening to the little voice inside you that whispers when you are doing something wrong.  The more you ignore that voice, the harder it will be for you to hear that voice next time.”
{Mwah!}  I could have kissed her.
The sweet man teacher taught my daughter that her words have power.
That she is a young lady full of creativity, but that she needs to be careful what she says because she can hurt someone.  Even someone that she doesn’t want to hurt.
{Mwah!}  Love that good man!
THIS is why I love public school.
My children are blessed EVERY DAY by good people who echo those things that I am trying to teach at home.
Yes, it is my job to teach my children.
And, I do teach them.
But... I LOVE the good people that help me do my job better.
Yesterday, I was so grateful for these good people.

anna is on the second row, third from the right with a grey, flower headband.
AND THEN...
I went on a field trip with my Anna.
Todd stayed home with the little girls and so it was just me and her.
I steal moments with Anna whenever I can.
She is not a squeaky wheel.  She is easy to overlook.
I LOVED sitting by her and planning our summer together.
She is such a sweet girl.
In her choir, she stands by Sophie.  Sophie has William’s Syndrome.
She is a dear child.
She loves to lead the music and wave and talk to the kids she is singing to.
Anna is so kind to Sophie.
She perfectly mothers her, setting a good example for her, smiling at her antics, and when necessary tapping Sophie on her shoulder and showing her how to put her arms down straight.
People tell me all the time what a sweet girl Anna is and how darling she is with Sophie.
I love that child of mine.

don't you LOVE sweet Sophie?!
As we were sitting on the bus on the way home, Anna pulled open the front of her lunch bag.
She has saved every note that I have stuck in her lunch through the year.
As we read the notes together my eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with peace.
I saw a physical reminder that I do love her enough.
It was like I saw our relationship through different eyes.
We have so many inside jokes that I didn’t even realize until I read them again.
Instead of writing “I love you”, I write 831.  8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning...
We say, “I love you up to Poodle and back.” (Poodle is how Leah used to say Pluto.)
I say “watch out for flower pots.” And that means, “I’m praying for you.”
I say- “You’re delish.” And it reminds her of Jel-ly Fish.
Those love notes were God’s way of showing me all the little things that I do, without even thinking about it... to love each of my kids, individually.
And that it is enough.
Anna is one of my favorites.
She is loved.
They all are!
And, i am loved too.
i thought to myself how i am like anna...
my blog is where i save all the sweet notes that my Heavenly Father sticks into my lunch box.
i love to read back over them as the year progresses and remember the lessons i have learned.
and, that i am loved.
because i am one of God's favorites.
and so are you.
Want to see the funny pictures Anna wanted to take on the bus?!...
tired?!





love that girl.
We got home from the field trip a couple of hours before school was over.
Anna was so excited for me to tell her teacher that we had a "VERY IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT."
I winked at her teacher as Anna and I headed to JoAnn fabrics where we picked out some fabric for a dress we are going to sew together.
She wants a blue (just like Mary), little house on the prairie dress.
We are excitedly planning her little house birthday party (yes, her birthday was last month-- better late and fun, then never, right?!)
Anna is feeding the little girls lunch, and putting them down for naps while i type this so that we can sew together this afternoon.
I AM SO EXCITED!
daughters are so fun.

Friday night, Jakob babysat the littlest girls (we paid him with Mexican take-out food), and Todd and I took Anna and Ellie out on the town.
We had dinner at Subway, watched the movie, “Mirror, Mirror”, and had dessert at Applebees.
It was delightful.
Life is busy and full.
Our family is not as perfect as I wish it was.
BUT
We are blessed and happy.
I love my life.
I love being a mother.
I adore my husband.




Life is good.

ps.  
todd wanted me to add that he is TRYING to look funny in the double chin picture above.
he really doesn't have that big of a double chin... hah!
he is exercising more these days!

2 comments:

John said...

Love the girl folding party!

CTR Mama said...

Fun! I wish I was one of your kids!
But do hurry with that post on keeping little kids happy while supporting big kids. My kids are 11, 5, and 1--so hard to keep everybody interested at each other's things!
Thanks for the fun ideas.

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