Pruning.

Ok, I'm trying to post from my iphone...
I am enjoying the beauty of family here in Idaho.
Todd went home, so it is just me and the kids here visiting with my in-laws and sister-in-law's family.
It has been so nice.
To be honest, I usually have a hard time visiting because I'm pretty insecure.
I get defensive and snippy.
I'm overly strict with my kids and that makes them crazy-er.
This visit I have been praying for peace and confidence and healing.
I want to be completely free to love and feel loved.
I have had such a nice visit. I realized I analyze things too much.
I try too hard. (ha! You've probably figured that out already, haven't you?)
And,the funny thing is I find myself trying too hard not to try to hard.

in one conversation, before we left, i was talking to my mother.
i was actually crying and saying, "I'm just not perfect mom.  i can't do it."
she said, "Jen, we all know that.  Why do you think that YOU can love US imperfect, but we can't love YOU when you make mistakes?"
as simple as that concept sounds, it changed me.

the whole time i have visited with my mother in law, i just keep reminding myself-- she loves me imperfect.
it feels good.
i'm not crazy trying to keep my kids perfectly behaved.
i'm not defensive or insecure.
when one of my kids acted up, i just smiled and think, "this is normal.  she is their grandmother, she can love them still."
it was SO nice.
to love and be loved-- that is the JOY of life.

This is the truth I am remembering this summer.

This world is so full of goodness!!
This world is full of joy!
This world is full of beauty!
Families are a gift...
Nobody is perfect--but we all know how to love imperfect people.
They love me imperfect-- and I love them.
{it is not what you are looking at, it is what you see!}
I want to see goodness in people.
I want to learn from the very best of my family and build on it.

This month I have been surrounded by my family and my husband's family and I have felt so blessed.
I believe it is easy to listen to the whisper in your head that tells you that you are alone and different.
But, we are not alone.
Ever.
We all have family... Heavenly and earthly.

I am so grateful for my family.
I want to be more like them.

 This morning I read a BOM allegory about the Lord pruning his vineyard. (Zeno's allegory.)
In this story the Lord is grafting wild branches and tame branches.
I have felt this grafting in my life.
I am a result of a loving Father who has pruned me and helped me keep my good roots, loose my wild branches and become a tree that bares good fruit.
I am grateful to be in the hands of a master gardener.
 He is healing me step by step.
And, in the mean time we are having so much fun!!!
Life is good!
Summer is delicious!
Families are forever!