April 19, 2013

my miracle baby.

almost 27 weeks.  2.4 lbs
For weeks I have been planning what I would say to my sonographer...
please, 10 minutes of a normal, sweet, happy baby ultrasound before we look at my placenta!
I am desperate to just ENJOY this baby and separate the fear from the miracle.
The normal drill is that I'm seen by a regular sonographer who measures everything from the head, belly, femur and amnio fluid levels to heart rate and chord blood flow.  They spend most of their time following the edges of my placenta to see how it has grown and whether or not they think it has infiltrated the bladder.  With about 10 minutes left of our hour long appointment, they call in the big whigs-- the doctors and most experienced sonographers who will dictate a few additional pictures and assist with the vaginal ultrasound that shows off my placenta a bit easier (for them, not me).
My last ultrasound was 3 weeks ago and it FREAKED me out.  They showed me this placenta that had completely overrun my abdomen.  My bladder, cervix and bowels seemed to be all tangled in a mass of placenta blood vessels and I was told "worst case" was months of colostomy and bladder/bowel reconstruction surgeries.  Blah.  Scary.
Last week was a tough week for me, emotionally.  20 minutes of them not being able to find the baby's heartbeat during my transfusion and a day of extreme abdominal pain, had left me worried.  I really, really needed to see my little guy and have someone else just enjoy him with me.

My favorite sonographer is also the very best.  She has written text books and is a calm, sweet, humble woman.  (She reminds me of Julie Merrill- if you know her.)  She looked at my placenta and disagreed with my previous ultrasound reading... she still doesn't think the placenta has gone through all the levels of my bladder-- it COULD just pull off easily after delivery.  AND, she saw no conclusive evidence that my placenta is into my colon.  !!  Yes, there is still 6 weeks for my placenta to grow-- but to her, things seemed to be holding steady NOT getting incredibly worse by the day.  That was SO good to hear.

After all the medical stuff was finalized, she sent everyone out of the room to write up the reports and said, "I hear you need some happy time with your baby... lets see what I can do."  She explained that she spends most of her time taking pictures of babies with genetic defects and that she would love to take some 3d images of my perfect little guy.  I couldn't help the tears that poured down my face as she showed me image after image of the sweetest little guy ever...

And, even though I know it hasn't been easy for him inside my womb these past few months... he looked sweet and peaceful.  I'm so grateful for that.  I'm grateful for a kind doctor who took a few extra minutes to soothe a pregnant woman's soul.  I'm grateful for the miracle of birth and for modern technology.  My little guy was tucked way into my pelvic bone, his feet were straight up by his head, his cord was right in front of his face and his hands were wrapped up around his head... and still we got these darling shots.
a baby foot.
Life is a miracle.  Pregnancy is beautiful.  There is a God and He creates these babies inside of us.  Each life is a blessing... and today, I am SO grateful.

Now... I need a name for this sweet baby boy.
 Look at that baby!!  Wouldn't you agree that he is worth every second of the work it will take to get him here safely?!!

12 comments:

Team said...

Beautiful. You can already see that he likes like your other kiddos...congrats!

The Nicholas Family said...

Amazing!! Thinking of you and praying for you through this trial!

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Tender mercies are alive and well and showing themselves to you every day. Lovely photos of your baby boy! We are praying for you daily. :)

Lanette said...

Tears. Life is a miracle. I'm so glad she gave you that moment to connect with your little fella. Seriously, I wanted to kiss his little face. Sending happy thoughts your way...

Dianne said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. With your faith, the help of top medical expertise, and Heavenly Father's blessings, you will enjoy the miracle.

corrie said...

What a beautiful little boy! I think of you often and all that you are going through. I'm excited to see this little one and you coming through this with miracles and love and blessings realized. Always.

Tiffany said...

Oh, I love these pics! I am so happy for you that you got those few sweet moments with him.

And I love Julie Merrill!! I think I may want to be her when I grow up... :)

Julie Merrill said...

Such sweet pictures. You are an amazing woman! I've known that ever since I met you and I am grateful to be called your friend---and by the way, I want to be like YOU when I grow up (whenever that happens)! I've learned more about great mothering from you than anyone else. Keep up the awesome work!

Rebekah said...

One of these absolutely needs to be framed and put up in his bedroom--wow.
Sweet, sweet little benoni (giving his mother strength through "sorrow").
Love you both.

sweet assurance

Joy Moss said...

Jenifer, We want you to know you are in our prayers. You are a very special person with a darling family and a wonderful husband. You will be blessed. It was so fun to meet you at Christmas time at Bill and Ann's home and meet you in person and all of your family. You are an amazing mom. You inspire me with the things you write. I hope to apply some of the things you write to help me with all of my grandchildren. It was always so fun to have Todd in our home when he was going to school here. He is a very special person. You are truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband and the family that you have. We wish you the very best and are praying for you. Bill and Joy Moss
mossjoy@hotmail.com

Evaly said...

These are so beautiful. Wishing you all the best!

J and C said...

those pictures made me cry! He is beautiful. I am so glad that the tech took the time to listen to you and heal your heart. I am glad too that instead of being super rational about everything she is thinking positively and allowing room for miracles. God is amazing! My prayers are with you!
Courtney

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