my miracle baby.

almost 27 weeks.  2.4 lbs

For weeks I have been planning what I would say to my sonographer...
please, 10 minutes of a normal, sweet, happy baby ultrasound before we look at my placenta!
I am desperate to just ENJOY this baby and separate the fear from the miracle.

The normal drill is that I'm seen by a regular sonographer who measures everything from the head, belly, femur and amnio fluid levels to heart rate and chord blood flow.  They spend most of their time following the edges of my placenta to see how it has grown and whether or not they think it has infiltrated the bladder.  With about 10 minutes left of our hour long appointment, they call in the big whigs-- the doctors and most experienced sonographers who will dictate a few additional pictures and assist with the vaginal ultrasound that shows off my placenta a bit easier (for them, not me).

My last ultrasound was 3 weeks ago and it FREAKED me out.  They showed me this placenta that had completely overrun my abdomen.  My bladder, cervix and bowels seemed to be all tangled in a mass of placenta blood vessels and I was told "worst case" was months of colostomy and bladder/bowel reconstruction surgeries.  Blah.  Scary.

Last week was a tough week for me, emotionally.  20 minutes of them not being able to find the baby's heartbeat during my transfusion and a day of extreme abdominal pain, had left me worried.  I really, really needed to see my little guy and have someone else just enjoy him with me.

My favorite sonographer is also the very best.  She has written text books and is a calm, sweet, humble woman.  (She reminds me of Julie Merrill- if you know her.)  She looked at my placenta and disagreed with my previous ultrasound reading... she still doesn't think the placenta has gone through all the levels of my bladder-- it COULD just pull off easily after delivery.  AND, she saw no conclusive evidence that my placenta is into my colon.  !!  Yes, there is still 6 weeks for my placenta to grow-- but to her, things seemed to be holding steady NOT getting incredibly worse by the day.  That was SO good to hear.

After all the medical stuff was finalized, she sent everyone out of the room to write up the reports and said, "I hear you need some happy time with your baby... lets see what I can do."  She explained that she spends most of her time taking pictures of babies with genetic defects and that she would love to take some 3d images of my perfect little guy.  I couldn't help the tears that poured down my face as she showed me image after image of the sweetest little guy ever...

And, even though I know it hasn't been easy for him inside my womb these past few months... he looked sweet and peaceful.  I'm so grateful for that.  I'm grateful for a kind doctor who took a few extra minutes to soothe a pregnant woman's soul.  I'm grateful for the miracle of birth and for modern technology.  My little guy was tucked way into my pelvic bone, his feet were straight up by his head, his cord was right in front of his face and his hands were wrapped up around his head... and still we got these darling shots.

a baby foot.

Life is a miracle.  Pregnancy is beautiful.  There is a God and He creates these babies inside of us.  Each life is a blessing... and today, I am SO grateful.

Now... I need a name for this sweet baby boy.

 Look at that baby!!  Wouldn't you agree that he is worth every second of the work it will take to get him here safely?!!