Sweet baby number eight wakes and kicks his morning hello. Number seven yells "Mom, I'm wake!" from her crib. I can hear giggles and movement as my house begins again. My soul is full of tangible, overflowing gratitude.
These early morning moments leave time for reflection, I leave Tuesday morning for what could be months in the hospital. Honestly, I could never come home. (This isn't a place I let my thoughts stray to.) Today feels shimmery and innately ideal. I wonder how much sweeter my life feels because I'm leaving it? Even as I wonder, I know- I always feel this way.
My heart aches with love every time I pull a sleepy child into my arms. So many nights I cuddle into Todd's sleeping body and hurt with love for that man. Time passes quickly, but I haven't missed these everyday moments. Today, I love my family more- but only because my ability to love fully is continually expanding.
The morning brightens and the sounds outside my bedroom liven. I'm laying here typing this blog when Todd comes back to my side. He has changed eve's morning diaper (she's been in, cuddled, and is out with sisters again) and he's now freshly showered and dressed. I love the smell and softness of a freshly shaved face. After kissing me fully, rubbing my belly, and saying hello to the baby in my womb, he asks what I want for breakfast on my last Sunday home. He holds me as I'm overcome with tears. "You can do this Jen," he assures me, and I believe him. I love that man. I love my life.
Someday soon, I will be here again, listening to the sounds of a perfect Sunday morning. My family will be complete and life will return to the mundane. And, on that future Sunday morning, I will remember today. I will be that much more grateful and full.
These moments stretch my soul and make room for God to fill me with more. Stretching only increases my gratitude and my capacity to be filled with joy. Pure joy is listening to your family awaken on a beautiful Sunday morning. Pure joy is quiet, simple moments when you feel the accumulation of your life's work and God's grace.
Men are that they might have joy. Can you feel your joy?
Life-- oh beautiful, normal, everyday life is so good!
Family is a gift, there is nothing more worth your effort.
There is beauty all around, when there's love at home.
I love my home.
Today- I am so grateful.
Enjoy your perfect Sabbath day.
Life is a gift!
6 comments:
This one made me cry. There is so much blessing in the routine struggles and the mundane-ness, that we too often miss. I feel so blessed after reading your post. More aware of how beautiful our life is. Full of babies and love and stability and health and normal things like skinned knees and bedtime stories. We are blessed beyond measure. I will be praying for you on Tuesday, and all the days to follow. And Todd is right--you can do this, Jen!
Sending prayers your way!
I agree with Todd, you can do this. Our prayers will be with you as well.
Praying for you, Jen! Are you guys still having to move?
Thank you friends! I feel your prayers!
and yes... we are still moving. somewhere? someday? oh how these next few months are ripe with possibility! ha! you know me, i LOVE surprises.
Oh Jen, this made me cry as well. Life really is great! Our family is praying for yours. P.s. beck is potty trained! ...and he sits backwards ;)
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