May 14, 2013

Day 13- Home?

When people walk into my hospital room, they most often say, "It feels like home in here."

Home. What does home feel like?
I'm afraid my weeks of solitary confinement are changing me.
I'm quieter and slower these days.
My life is restful and reverent and slow (well, inactive actually).
The longer I'm here, the more comfortable I feel with stillness.
Deep down, I think I am a person that likes to be alone, to think and ponder and create.

My home at home is peaceful, but not calm and quiet.

When all my kids came for Mother's Day I felt more like an observer than the engine that moved things.
Even when they were sitting near me, I felt like I was Skyping into their active, busy life.

Seven kids seemed like a lot of kids! Will my life ever feel normal to me again?!

Today, normal is stitching quietly while I listen to inspirational talks or soft music.
My meals are simple and quiet, dressing and showering is the most physically active thing I do.
These days I bond more with my baby, I am still and can feel each swish and kick. I notice my belly button disappearing and know that he is growing.

As I sit I think about my life before bed rest. I think bed rest has changed me. I think I'll be different when I get home. I think I'll take more time for myself and get more help with my daily life. I hope I still make time to read and stitch and rest.

Maybe I'll hire a sitter one morning a week, or hire someone to clean my windows and floors. I think I'll take more walks and try to be slower.

I love my busy, bustling, bright home with family. And, I love this temporary home here as I wait to meet my last child.
Life is good.
To be cliche' - home is where your heart is.

My sweet sister-in-laws are here helping out... aren't they so sweet.


Marie said...

Good morning, Jen... Your posts are so beautiful, so inspiring, and so encouraging. You are amazing. I am nearly twice your age, have only one son, but still find myself learning from you every single day! Being away from your home and family on a daily basis is just a temporary thing, my friend. You are right where God wants you to be... Where a wonderful staff is right there, ready to help you at a moments notice.
You are blessed... But you already know that with your whole heart. It is lovely to see the love and support of Todd, your children, and your entire family. As they say, "It takes a village."
Keep taking good care, pretty lady. Many people are praying for you every day... It will be ok.
So proud of you!

Aimee said...

I am so impressed with your progress on your family sampler! :)

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