Home. What does home feel like?
I'm afraid my weeks of solitary confinement are changing me.
I'm quieter and slower these days.
My life is restful and reverent and slow (well, inactive actually).
The longer I'm here, the more comfortable I feel with stillness.
Deep down, I think I am a person that likes to be alone, to think and ponder and create.
My home at home is peaceful, but not calm and quiet.
When all my kids came for Mother's Day I felt more like an observer than the engine that moved things.
Even when they were sitting near me, I felt like I was Skyping into their active, busy life.
Seven kids seemed like a lot of kids! Will my life ever feel normal to me again?!
Today, normal is stitching quietly while I listen to inspirational talks or soft music.
My meals are simple and quiet, dressing and showering is the most physically active thing I do.
These days I bond more with my baby, I am still and can feel each swish and kick. I notice my belly button disappearing and know that he is growing.
As I sit I think about my life before bed rest. I think bed rest has changed me. I think I'll be different when I get home. I think I'll take more time for myself and get more help with my daily life. I hope I still make time to read and stitch and rest.
Maybe I'll hire a sitter one morning a week, or hire someone to clean my windows and floors. I think I'll take more walks and try to be slower.
I love my busy, bustling, bright home with family. And, I love this temporary home here as I wait to meet my last child.
Life is good.
To be cliche' - home is where your heart is.
|My sweet sister-in-laws are here helping out... aren't they so sweet.|