belly wounds:: healing from the inside out.

Warning:::  This post has very graphic pictures.  

Please be careful if you are reading this blog with young children around.

Really.

I'm showing you some pretty REAL pictures so be careful.

Sorry if I shouldn't be posting them.

I have skin that heals well.
7 kids and no stretch marks.
This major surgery has given me some pretty intense scars.
My closest friends and relatives are most interested in my tummy scar.
And, since you are my second closest friends... I'll share it with you.
It looks like I have a bum on my tummy.
Lovely.

The whole time I was preparing for my surgery I wanted to see someone else's scar so I knew what to expect.
I did have two c-sections prior to this surgery and one other surgery on my intestines.  All three of those were horizontal incisions and when they healed you couldn't even see them.
This scar is bad because they had to cut vertically and because I was open for three days and because they had to remove my wound vac and let me heal from the inside out (due to infection).
This is a pretty great looking, very intense scar.  I am scarred and ALIVE.

I remember the resident using a ruler to mark a straight line down my abdomen.

I'm grateful for them every time I see my scar.
It is so neat how the human body works to heal itself.
Don't look at this if it will gross you out... It's pretty tough to see.

I am humble.  I think my scar is awful.  Awful and amazing at the same time.  I feel humbled and so grateful and a little bit scared when I see it.  It is harder for me to see than it should be.  I hope that once things are cleaned out on the inside, I won't be so afraid of the outside.

Today, my scar is doing weird things around my belly button and I'm afraid I might have a hernia.
I don't really know what a hernia is.  :)

[update-- I really do have a hernia at my belly button.  Blah.  They are going to fix it when they fix my kidney.  So fun!]

Seriously, I know these are gross and getting grosser.

You really do not want to see these pictures, even if you think you do.
If you think of me as a turkey they are not as hard to look at.  :)
I honestly felt like a stuffed thanksgiving turkey.

My belly looks speckled around the edges of my scar.  That is from the big stitches they put in to pull my stomach as closed as they could get it while they were waiting to do more surgery.
You also should know that in these pictures, the inside layers of my abdomen are stitched up, just the outside layers are open.
They let me heal from the inside out (meaning they didn't stitch me closed) because they didn't want infection puss pockets to form.
I know it sounds odd... and it was pretty gross... but, I guess that is how they do it sometimes.

At the hospital.
With the wound vac, literally they filled me with sponges and attached a machine that vacuumed my wound closed-

see that TAPE?!!!
They had to change the sponges in my belly DAILY.
Tearing off that tape was TORTURE.
just saying.

In this picture you can see the drain they had in me to drain out the stuff in my abdomen.
I know you always wanted to see a belly drain.

In the hospital, when they had to remove the wound vac (because it kept getting infected)-

The first day my home health care nurse came (1 month after my surgery) and the last day she was with me (about 2 and a half months after my surgery)...

This is a before/after shot... the after on the left shows some stuff that isn't good.
The inside was healing too much (can you see the puffy red parts?) so they had to cauterize the red parts again to slow down that extra growth.

The black thing is a vein that they cauterized.
The yellowish stuff is dead skin that they would have to scrape off or use special ointment on.
blah.

About 3 months after my surgery...

 Lovely pictures for your day.
I am really grateful for my body.
Bodies are a gift from God.  They are amazing.
I don't love my scar, but I am grateful for it.
I'm proud of my scars and I'm proud of my life.
And... I would choose this again.
Because my littlest baby is worth a tummy scar.

 Have a great day!!
Perhaps now you are in the mood for a turkey sandwich?  :)