It is so easy to get discouraged- especially on a Monday (or Tuesday) morning.
You stay up too late at night and wake up late and cranky.
Your house is a mess from a long weekend of creative kids.
You failed to plan and plan to fail.
Laundry, maybe dishes, and a messy playroom await your attention.
I'm crankier when I don't feel good and I'm tired.
This weekend I was both.
My favorite moment of the weekend was Sunday dinner.
After calling the kids to come eat, for 20 minutes, they sat down in a super silly mood.
I was tired and not feeling well.
All I wanted was for them to finish eating, clean the kitchen, and go to sleep. So that I could go to sleep.
One child missed the prayer- needing 25 minutes of coaxing to come to the table.
Three other children thought it was hilarious to snuff and snort their noses during the prayer.
After the "Amen", I quietly excused the three snorters from the table and told the fourth who missed prayer to wait till we were done eating. (The more upset I get, the quieter I become, most of the time.)
The oldest of the sniffers asked what they did that was wrong.
I refused to engage. He knew exactly why he was excused.
He asked if I wanted him to just let his nose run down his face during a prayer?
(Just so you know, we were not talking about a small snuffles. These were synchronized snorts and giggles.)
I looked at him and whisper, "Put down your plate and leave the damn table."
Yes, I did say that word.
Not my proudest moment.
As this child left the table he said to his sisters, "I guess Mom thinks it's worse to snort during the prayer than it is to cuss at the table."
I laughed. (Of course a cussing mother is worse than snorting children. Oops.) I invited my children back to the table and we all had a do-over. Honestly, I can handle silly kids... It wasn't them, it was me.
I'm not sure why I'm so tired lately.
I think it's because Todd was gone all week. I did everything alone and then was ready for a long break.
I'm feeling the weight of Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching.
I have to budget again.
I hate budgeting. I hate money.
I really shouldn't write blog posts on days that I'm pushing through...
I think, if you read through my blogs- you might find a pattern.
Monday mornings are hard for me... It's my weekend hangover.
Once I do a quick clean up and hear my washing machine purring in the background, all will be well again.
Last week, I was listening to a Mormon channel broadcast on family councils. The question was asked, what do you do when one of your children doesn't want to join your family council?
Both people answering questions said in unison- "Go forward with faith!"
And, that's what I'm trying to do.
Just keep on going forward, however slowly.
One foot in front of the other.
I love that advice.
It echoes in my mind daily- Go Forth With Faith!!
Crankiness begs for you to disengage and wallow.
Hide... Cuss... Feel sorry for yourself...
True rest comes from finishing the dishes, lovingly tucking your children in bed, falling on your knees and allowing yourself to sleep in peace.
Rest comes after the task not as you're avoiding it.
Today I am dressed.
I'm going to sort (not snort) and straighten and while I work, I'm going to fill my mind with good music and inspiring words.
I'm going to plan so that my youngest sleep through the afternoon and I will have time to rest before school gets out.
Go forward with faith and gratitude.
Faith and gratitude beat despair and self-pity everyday of the week.
I'm grateful that my plate is full again.
I'm SO grateful to be tired.
I'm grateful for snorting kids and damn tables.
Life is really, really good.
Even on the days that I'm pushing through.
Today is going to be a great day!
It's awfully quiet... Where's Eve?