January 23, 2014


Please, don't mock my day job.
I fail to comprehend why children (it must be the neighbors, I hope it's not the professor) would possibly place boogies on the wall, when sitting right next to a roll of toilet paper!  (And yes, I'm still waiting for one hilarious child to place a live specimen right there on my paper.  It is so inviting.)

Boogie patrol and bum/teeth cleaning are some of my most difficult motherhood obstacles.  Don't judge.

Am I an epic failure?  
Lily was first to potty and read my sign.  She laughed and asked, "Mom?  Does that mean I shouldn't use other people's toothbrushes?"

I can't make these things up.

I laughed and told her honestly, "Yes it does AND it means no putting your boogies on the wall."  
(She, like every honest child of mine, insisted she NEVER does that.  It must be the neighbors.)

When Anna was Lily's age, I pointed out to them a particularly gross specimen on my wall and proceeded to explain where we put our boogies.

{tissues, toilet paper, hankies under your pillows- I learned that from Mary Poppins, if you MUST you may roll it in your fingers till it gets dry and then flick it so it can be vacuumed, and in extreme circumstances wiping on your pillowcase trumps the wall!  Yes, we get detailed here in our home.  I've been teaching proper boogie placement for 14 years.  Don't judge.}

Five year old Anna raised her hand (she does that sometimes) and in her most adult, smug voice explained, "I NEVER put my boogies on the wall, I either put them in a tissue or I EAT them."
{Smile.}  Perfect.  
Lesson 101 learned, on to lesson 102.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

Hope your day is beautiful and your tissues are dancing.
Pick a good one for me...
Sigh.  Motherhood, who knew?!


Anonymous said...

It's not me, I promise! I either put them in a tissue or I eat them. --The Professor

Kajsa and Fam said...

So glad I am not the only one. Potty training my 1st child right now and it is honestly making me question how many kids I want to have, just because I don't want to potty train them! Pathetic! I was so less involved with their bodily functions when they were in diapers...

Katie said...

We have the same problem only worse. I keep finding poopy finger smears on the wall next to the toilet and it grosses me out big time. So, yes, it can get worse than boogies. :)

Amy said...

I may need to get a copy of that boogie fingerpainting sign. I had a professional boogie- wiper around here about a year ago. We had to have "boogie school" (teaching what to do with boogies in every situation)for the whole family, even though I was pretty sure I knew who it was. Turns out I was wrong. It wasn't Shawn, it was my then 3 yr old:) The thing is, those things stick stronger than any glue I've ever come across!! Paint comes off the walls along with them! Best.glue.ever.

The Perry Family said...

I'm literally laughing out loud at my desk! haha LOVE this post!

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