A Day For the Women

Todd is taking the boys on a week-long backpacking, canoe trip.  They've been packing their packs and gathering supplies.  I'm so excited for them.  Excited, and a wee bit jealous.

So, I decided to make this week a fun Girl's Week.  We kicked it off with a Saturday getaway with just me and my oldest girls.  A Saturday full of selfies.  :)

We headed out to the Seneca Falls Women's Rights National Historic Park.  We got there just in time to hear Ms Harriet Tubman herself...

I was SO excited to share this little piece of history with my daughters.  I read the walls hopefully at first waiting to feel the power of women!  I know that power.  I re-read cautiously the second time around, and absolutely disgusted the third time through.

To be honest- this "Women's Rights" museum was the most anti-woman place I have EVER been in.  I drove an hour and a half hoping to give my daughters a feeling of their potential and ability to lead in this world-- and what I found were constant, ridiculous charges that women were "unequal" and "repressed" if they chose to be a wife and mother, or a teacher, or any of the historically "female" life roles.  Heaven these displays even suggested little girls were repressed if they played with dolls, wore dresses or makeup, or wanted to be a teacher when they grew up.  Put your face here, they said, you can be a fireman someday.

You do not need to demean women's choices as you open the door for women's opportunity to choose.

I heard Seneca Falls was a place choosen to represent Women's Rights because it is where an American Indian Tribe dwelt that had women sit in leadership councils.  That was a cool story that I never found in the "Historic Park"-- it must have been hidden behind blaring signs like this...

Yes- this says "Myth- Mother's are Special".

(This picture swings open, which I found the second time through, and quotes a domestic violence statistic.  But this display is NOT anti-domestic violence.  It is anti-motherhood.)

The whole exhibit was like this.

These quotes are meant to mock and degrade the "traditional role" of women.

These quotes were examples of the repressive history that the Women's Movement saved us from.

Men, in this building, were painted as oppressors.  Comments scrawled on the "What does Women's Rights mean to you?" board ranged from "Men are scum" to "the right to be treated by men the way men treat other men".  I'm sorry- this is just not my cup of tea.  I proudly wrote my two cents-- "Men do not need to be degraded inorder for women to be valued."

I do believe in "Women's Rights".

I don't believe "Women will never be equal until they hold their own purse."

I don't believe MOST of the propaganda I read on the walls at the museum I was hoping to feel valued and empowered in.

Perhaps I'm STILL missing something- but feminism seems to me to be the most anti-motherhood, anti-choice, anti-man ideals that I have ever encountered.

I am a strong, intelligent, powerful woman.  I'm thankful I can vote.  I have chosen the "traditional" role of wife and mother because I believe it is the BEST use of my life.  I do not earn money- but I am of value.  

I believe we each have different life missions.  Perhaps another women would be living her fullest life by working and earning an income.  

(I am actually FOR equal rights for women.  I did not see women's rights being talked about, I saw a war on women's roles.)

Perhaps some women will never be given the opportunity or will not choose to be a wife or mother.  I do not condemn these women in their choice at all-- and I demand equal respect in mine.

Feminism- as I saw it in the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Museum, was not pro-women's rights.  It was pro-male sameness.  It didn't promote the equal treatment of women, it promoted the SAME employment for women.  It touted loudly "Women's Rights" while it's walls were covered with the most anti-woman rhetoric I have ever encountered! This place came highly recommended to me, from many sources.  I was caught off gaurd, surprised by what I saw, and sorely disappointed.

Really women?  Really?  We can't create a place that celebrates womanhood and highlights the influence of great women throughout history without demeaning the greatest power we have?  This is a NATIONAL historic park.  Women are better than this.  Maybe they needed a few traditional mothers on their design committee- I'm certain we could have spent taxpayer money to create a better exhibit.

Mothers ARE special.  Traditional mothers, who choose not to work and are cared for by men who cherish them, not only feel equal- we feel honored in our role.

I didn't expect a Women's Museum to particularly herald stay at home mothers- but I was not prepared to feel like these "women" were SO wrong.  They are trading true value for things that are of very little worth.  

In an effort to save women from abuse and tyranny, they fight against "traditional womanhood".  Um, no.  Perhaps we should fight against abuse and tyranny.  

Perhaps instead of fighting womanhood or feminity itself, instead of fighting against marriage and motherhood, we can fight abuse, evil, and immorality.  This is the only Women's Rights movement I would support.  We don't need to trade inequality for deception.

I did buy a book of famous historical feminist writings-- I will read it TRYING again to see the good in this ever so popular movement.  So far, feminism continues to disappoint me.  Women-- we are better than this.  

We can be equal without divisiveness.  We have power as women without demeaning men.  We don't need to fight all that is true as we fight evil.  We can be a voice for goodness, fair treatment, and equality without being a voice of enmity, male-bashing, and anti-motherhood.

Blah.

I brought my daughters here hoping to inspire them, we left uninspired although we were all a little wiser.

We followed up with a trip to the Peter Whitmer farm where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints was organized and much of the Book of Mormon was translated.

This place was full of beauty, love and inspiration.  We toured old farm houses and watched videos on family life that rang true to my soul.

I believe with my soul-- not because I am oppressed, not because I am unable to get a high-paying job, not because I am deceived into Mormon indoctrination-- my whole soul tells me that being a woman, a wife, and a mother is a great work.  

I believe homes are sacred.

I believe families (not pay checks) are eternal.

I believe that even when laws or nations are corrupt and unequal, we can create a home of love, equality, and goodness.

Small acts of bravery and charity at home, in your community, and in your nations- make a difference.

I felt inspired at this simple farm house, where a woman, quietly serving her family and friends, was given an angelic vision.

My girls felt it too- they felt inspired and happy.

As we journeyed home we stopped at some fun thrift stores and big estate sales, picking up items to decorate their room this week.

We bought gold paint to add some stripes to their walls... and, we've got fun plans for our week without the boys.

(We may build ourselves a dog house.)

We ended with the most delicious meal in Skeneatles.  Good food, good conversation, and beloved time with my best friends.

What a lovely day.

I love being a mother.

I love being a motherly, beautiful, feminine, traditional woman.

There is nothing I'd rather spend all my time and energy doing well.

I feel lucky to be home with my kids.

I feel blessed to be able to spend the money Todd earns.

I hope women everywhere feel as valued and empowered as I do.

I hope, whatever my daughters choose to do with their life, they choose with wisdom, power, and truth.

Women-- we have the potential to do a great work.

We are powerful.  

We are equal.  

Our role is holy and divine.

Our life can be so good.

I know it.

Go Fourth!

The fun thing about having older kids is that they become your momentum.

You create the magic when they are young and they help create magic as they get older.

(When I find 20 selfies on my phone- I know that my little ladies are feeling good about themselves.  Some girl bonding lifts spirits and inspires confidence.)

This year, my girls advocated for 4th of July outfits, hair, and nails.

So fun.

I love this family of mine.

While our younger kids partied with friends of ours, Todd and I took the two older boys to a dance with LDS youth from Syracuse, Palmyra and Rhode Island.  

I loved dancing with Todd.  He's fun to dance with- and it's so nice feeling strong enough to move!

We really enjoyed watching our boys.  We've been chaperones for years and can hardly believe we are old enough to have kids this old.

I don't feel like I'm bragging when I talk about them, perhaps it's because I have always felt so humbly blessed to be their mom.

I watched Drew include an cute, incredibly shy boy.  It was adorable watching him teach him the "lawn mower", "shopping cart", and "sprinkler" dance moves.  I'm pretty certain he learned those from Jakob who learned them from me.  Haha.

Honestly, I got teary at the end of the night when Jakob asked an adorable physically disabled girl to dance the last dance.  He looks down when he dances with me these days.  The girl he danced with was tiny.  I saw him treat her with the same respect and tender gentleness that he treats his little sisters.  My boys will be great men someday.  How grateful I am to be their mother.

Jakob isn't always sweet- we had a humdinger of an argument about screens the other day.  He's not perfect- but he is really, really good.  What a fun time of life- being a mother of teenagers.

I love living in America.

Life is so good.

Happy Weekend!

The Home of the Brave

Happy 4th!!

Although patriotic thoughts swirl in my soul and I'm worried about freedom in our country and in the world- this 3rd of July my focus was home.

We had a mild war of independence of our own yesterday.  In our war, the mother country successfully ousted offending Japanese WII and other internet international forces who have been battling with kamikaze power for control of our home since school let out last week.  For the time being, there is no talk of a peace treaty.  

We are focused on a week or two of country building without foreign invasion.  My children, the former POWs are acting as if we, the freedom fighters, have ripped off their arms.  We blame brain damage and attribute their lack of gratitude at time of rescue to a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome.  Haha.  

(Baby Lily)

(Baby Eve)

National response is yet to be determined.  We have stood with Sweden in the past, but affirm absolutely that our last military uprising was a defensive act in response to repeated violations of border control.  Although this is a land of immigrants, we only support legal border crossings.  For the time being, our relations with China and Japan are severely sanctioned.  We support the use of drones.  We may grant amnesty to World Cup players who legally petition.

In my parts some might question our claim to phrases like "the land of the free" but mothers everywhere will join in affirming it is truthfully "the home of the brave".  

Let freedom reign!!

I love this country.

I'm grateful and mindful of the freedoms we share.

God bless our homes!  

God bless America!

God bless the World!

Peace be with you.

Life is sacred.

Let us live with responsibility and kindness.

Today, in my home, we support the momarchy and we say loudly--Long live the Queen!!

Stealing Moments Together

Life has a way of pulling couples apart.

I'm learning that the "bipolar" up and down swings of life are unavoidable.  Sometimes you just are more productive, happier, more in love, healthier than other times.

The down times come, because we're human.

So, these days I spend less time analyzing why I'm low, less time trying to plan my life so I never feel overwhelmed or sick, and more time establishing routines that I can rely on to pull me up.

When Todd and I are united- my whole life is sunshiney.  We make time for early bedtimes and simple lunch dates.  Even if we just sneak out for a 15 minute trip to town- that 15 minutes refreshes my soul. Just holding his hand rejuvenates me.

When my kids are home for the summer, I crave quiet, peace, and order.  I find this control center in my marriage.  Taking time to be one with Todd gives me the foundational support to be the calming force for my feisty eight.

I love that man.

I'm glad he's mine.

What do you do to stay close to your husband?  How do you rejuvenate?

For This Child I Prayed

Ben has been a fairly immobile, content little guy.

He's one now and recently qualified for some Early Intervention physical therapy to help strengthen his muscles.  He barely qualifies, if one counts the age he should be (had he not been born 3 months premature).

We're not dealing with any major development issues, just minor strength training.  (The physical therapy hasn't started yet, just the testing and registration parts.)

Honestly, I believe his delay was more for me, not him.  I've been healing and I know it would have been so much harder with an active baby.

The other day, I held him and I prayed.  I told God that I was ready.  I asked Him to bless Ben with the desire and ability to move, to explore, to go!  This is not my first time around the block- I knew exactly what I was asking for.

Ben started crawling that afternoon.

Yesterday, he pulled himself up and stood holding his crib railing for the first time!

My life has changed.

This boy is all boy.  He's going to be fast and active.

And- I am grateful.

As Todd and I were contemplating an eighth pregnancy, I was exhausted.  I felt overwhelmed with seven and although I knew my family was not complete, I absolutely dreaded another pregnancy.

For over a month we pondered, prayed, and talked and talked and talked, about trying for our last baby.

One evening I left the house exhausted and struggling with the feeling I had that there was a baby (BOY) ready to come to our family and the feeling that I had, that I couldn't handle one more thing.  I drove around sobbing with this choice, unable to find peace.  

When I got home, Todd had bathed and bedded the kids.  My home was clean and peaceful, and Todd was shining.  He told me how cute the girls had been in their bath and with tears in his eyes asked, "Why would we not want another one?"

I felt his peace deep into my soul.  I borrowed his desire and faith when mine was weak.

That evening we knelt side by side and took turns pouring our heart out to our Father in Heaven.  We prayed for Him to send us the baby that we knew was waiting to come.  We prayed for strength, courage and grace.

Shortly thereafter I became pregnant with Ben.  It has always been interesting and unquestionably non-coincidental that my decision to get pregnant with Ben was harder and more deliberate than my decision to get pregnant with any of my seven other children.  God knew that this pregnancy needed to be my choice.

I think a wise Father in Heaven waited for me to ask, so that I would ALWAYS remember that my (crazy, difficult, life-changing) pregnancy and my eight children are GIFTS, answers to my prayers.

Yes, an active child is hard-- but not nearly as hard as yearning with your soul that he could be active.

Yes, my eighth pregnancy was difficult-- but I wouldn't trade the peace I have knowing my family is complete for one easy year.  

God answers prayers, especially prayers that He inspires you to pray, the words that are hard to speak because you know they are twisting your will to His.

Today I am grateful and I'm still praying.

God bless me with patience to deal with my blessings.

Life is good!

We're off and we're loving it!!

Feeling Yammy

Would it surprise you if I admitted that I'm not a big fan of pictures that show babies covered in food?

I think it's good for toddlers to learn to eat neatly.

Most of my children would never smear their first birthday cake- they ate gently with two fingers.

Not Ben.

This boy loves messy texture.

I'm glad, because texture is something preemie babies often have issues with.

Yesterday was a stretching day for me-- boy oh boy, I am sick.  I'm afraid I don't have a strong immune system these days.

I was feeding Benner some lunch and Eve came out from her nap (am I ever going to be able to keep her napping through a summer with a house full of big kids?).

I left the sweet potatoes on the counter and ran her back upstairs.

This is what I returned to.

Haha.

He was literally licking the platter clean.

What a mess.

What a cutie!

What a great life.

I love my day job.