summer ideas- chore charts and NON-consistency.

i have had MANY chore charts in my day.
this is our latest and greatest.

actually, the rule is only mom can mark off a job, but i let ellie pose for this picture.  :)


when i was younger, my friend heidi always had the coolest jobs.
i remember writing in my journal... "when i'm a mom, i want to have job lists like hers..."
she would have to bake something, read a book, play the piano and the usual, clean a bathroom, etc....


this is our list.
breakfast
get dressed
teeth and hair
bed and room
prayers/scriptures
chores- dishes or trash
practice music
laundry
ask mom
read
create
practice
play
i have this quote on the bottom "I learned the value of hard work by working hard." by Margaret Mead


i just printed out a chart from microsoft word and stuck it in a $3 Michael's frame, that i had.
(remember, i'm not buying stuff...) 

it is a wonderful start to our day.
and, it makes me happy, everyday.


-- the order is important...
i always teach them to, start with your body, move to your environment.
Chores before fun.


--i like that this chart wipes clean everyday.


--i like that i can personalize it for certain days.


--i use white board markers, and they work great...
BUT if i were buying them, i would get the overhead projector wash with water thin markers... i think they would be PERFECT.


Some THOUGHTS on Being Consistent With Chores.
actually, this may surprise you, but i don't believe in CONSISTENCY as a parent.
i hate consistency.  {i KNOW... can you believe i'm writing this???}
i think that being consistent often gives parents an excuse to be contentious.
if i have a morning where i don't have the energy to do chores and keep it light and joyful.
we don't do them.
and life still goes on.
some days, we leave the beds unmade and the breakfast dishes on the counter and head to the park.
these days are my favorite days.
being consistent-- blah!
i'm always changing things, coming up with new systems...
a new season, a new theory...
It also helps that i am married to Mr. DEPENDABLE, non-deviating...
we must have oatmeal on mondays, eggs on tuesday, cream of wheat on wednesday...
the professor is consistent, and i am the wind that keeps everyone happy and flowing in his general direction.
i really don't care if we eat oatmeal on monday.


BUT... i am REALLY good at getting my kids to do their chores, most days, and they are SELF MOTIVATED and HAPPY while they are doing them.


my kids don't have a tv rule like "only 30 minutes a day" or "you can earn hours" because i don't want to be consistent in that.
if i think they're watching too much tv on a given day, i just turn it off and say "go play"
if they complain... i just smile and say something like,
"i'm your sweet mother, it is my job to protect your brain... and today, it is shrinking from too much tv.  GO PLAY, and someday, when you have children, you can choose to let them have tiny brains..."
but, we do have patterns... MOST days our life is ordered.
really... i think one of my greatest assets as a mother is that i am flexible.
but, i don't hear this much from really good families, so maybe don't listen to this advice.
{here is a WONDERFUL talk, More Diligent and Concerned at Home... suggestion 3-- is be consistent.
i really am conflicted about this... because, i have found, CONSISTENT is what makes me a cranky momma.}

To LOVE is better than to TEACH- a principle.

This is one of the profound moments on my journey to LEARN mothering.
it is a moment that i often reflect on.
a moment where God taught me so i could teach them.

i was a young mother.  

i had a 2 year old, a 1 year old and i was pregnant with Anna.

i had just finished folding baskets and baskets of laundry.

they were ready to be put away, sitting in a line at the top of my upstairs balcony.

the next thing i knew, my boys were laughing and throwing all my laundry off the balcony.

like 6 loads.

in a heap on my entryway floor.

i was devestated and SO MAD.

i was convinced that they knew better.

that they had to be taught.

i remember wanting to throw them off the balcony.

{i know, horrible mommy... they were BABIES!}

right when i was about to YELL... 
to TEACH them not to make MESSES... 
to TEACH them to respect their mother and all MY hard work...  
when i was just about to give it to them and feel completely justified in all my rage because what they had done was WRONG!!!

right at that moment, i felt a still, small voice that asked me...

what is more important?  teaching them to be clean, or teaching them to be kind?

i wondered if my children went off to college and had no idea how to clean a bathroom, or fold their laundry, could they still be good, functioning adults?

i remembered my college room-mates.

they were good girls.

one had a father who was a general authority.

they were messy.

they once cleaned the bathroom with windex and toilet paper.

i remember being surprised that they didn't really know how to clean.

{i'm certain this was just my impression...}

i KNEW at that moment, that it was NOT important to teach my kids to be clean.

i NEEDED to teach them to be KIND even when they were ANGRY.

i NEEDED to teach MYSELF to BE KIND, even when i'm ANGRY.

and...  LOVE is more important.

i will always remember that moment.  sitting at the steps, with my boys in my lap and the mountain of laundry strewn below us.

i hugged them and i cried.

for my weakness and their purity.

i learned that day to tell myself... love them today, you can teach them that tomorrow.

and today, my boys are wonderful!

they don't ever throw clean, folded clothes around the house.

ever.

they have learned.

and... i have learned.

be consistent.  yes.

consistently LOVING.  

and, if you cannot teach cleanliness and kindness, pick kindness...

they can learn cleanliness another day.

if you cannot teach potty training and kindness.

pick kindness...

they can learn potty training another day.

if you cannot teach your grand scriptural insights and be kind.

pick kindness... they can learn scriptural wisdom another day.

because if you can't teach with love, you aren't really teaching at all.

you're just enforcing.  

so, i guess i am for consistency... just depends on what your trying to be consistent in.

when it comes to most of life's tasks... i am consistently inconsistent.

when it comes to teaching my kids, loving my kids, keeping calm and carrying on... 

i'm pretty dang consistent.

and surprisingly, when i choose kindness... the other things happen more consistently than you would expect.

it's the loose yourself and you shall find yourself principle.

give up control and you'll find control.

ahhh... the lessons i'm learning...

NOTHING teaches you more than being a mom.

"He taketh the barren woman and maketh her a joyful mother of children.  Praise ye the Lord."  

{psalms something...}

 
An Example of our Daily Routine.
I LOVE MORNINGS WITH MY KIDS.
so, i'm sharing what we do...


--CARTOONS- my kids watch tv when they get up, until i get up and at it...


--MORNING DEVOTIONAL- we start with morning devotional, i turn off the tv, we sing, talk about the scripture chapter that they read the day before, and say family prayers


--SCRIPTURE TIME- part of their chores is prayer and scripture...
so, after scripture time, we just sit for 5 more minutes and silently read the next chapter...
some days, i read the chapter out loud to the kids who aren't fast readers, but we don't talk about it yet...
my husband and i have really studied "Watching with all Perseverance" by David Bedner.  It is so good.
He asks, "Are we as parents primarily giving our children the equivalent of spiritual fish to eat, or are we consistently helping them to at, to learn for themselves, and to stand steadfast and immovable?  Are we helping our children become anxiously engaged in asking, seeking, and knocking?" 


My kids have begun looking for 3 questions while they read...
they either mark them with a ? on the side of their scriptures, or they write them on a piece of paper...
the NEXT day, during morning devotional, we just say, "So, what did you learn yesterday in your scripture study?"  and then wait for THEM to tell US.
"Does anyone have any questions?"
When they ask a question, i say, "Ohh, great question.  What do you think?"
i HARDLY EVER answer any of their questions.
We have them look in the scriptures for the answer and occasionally we ask the other kids, "What do you think?"
interactive scripture times are SO MUCH more effective then the sit and listen to me preach scripture times...  love it.


--WORKING TOGETHER- my kids do chores in pairs.
first and third-- do trash, gather it from around the house and take it to the dumpster.
second and fourth-- do dishes, empty the dishwasher and set the table.
i really like seeing them learn to work together.


-- PRACTICING MUSIC-
my bigger kids are each taking piano or violin lessons.
i encourage them to practice each song 3 times every day.
i don't correct them if they mess up.
for me, music is teaching daily discipline.
i want it to be something they love.
i let their teachers correct them at their lesson and i focus on practicing with a smile.


--LAUNDRY- i like that they have a LAUNDRY job everyday...
some days they gather and sort, some days they fold, some days they put away, and some days it's a FREE spot.


-- FLEXIBLE JOBS- i LOVE the ASK MOM job.
during the day, i keep a running list of little jobs that i never do...
like, pair the mismatched socks, vacuum around the edges of the carpet, wash windows, toilets, mop, wash counters, organize the craft cupboard, gather all the shoes in the house and put them in the right closet, vacuum the bedrooms, etc.
Because i'm not consistent, i LOVE the flexibility of this job.
I also LOVE that this job lightens my load as a mother.
I don't have that heavy burden when i see another job that needs to be done around the house that i never get to.


Yesterday, i heard the kids talking...
jakob- "i HATE mopping."
anna- "i LOVE mopping, it's fun".
jakob- "what's your ask mom job, i'll trade you."
anna- "i have toilets.  i LOVE toilets."
jakob- "man, toilets are fun.  please trade."
mom- "what don't you like about mopping?  mopping is fun."
jakob- "i hate sweeping."
mom- "i don't mind sweeping for you."
jakob-  "fine.  but tomorrow can i clean the toilets?"


HA!!  i love it!
seriously, my kids are great workers, i'm afraid that i am lazier than they are.

--READ is a great chore.
some kids take longer to read a scripture chapter,
so they count 20 minutes of scripture study as their read chore.
i LOVE it when they set the timer and curl up on the couch.
i especially love it when the timer rings and they keep on reading.
i don't care if they read for an hour, because i don't care if their chores ever get done...
i mainly use chores as stuff to do BEFORE tv or BEFORE friends...
so, if they spend all day reading and never turn on the tv... i'm ok with that.


when i was a young mom, i worried that forcing my kids to do something would make them resent it.
nope.
some of my kids may complain for a minute when they get to read... and i just smile and encourage.
after they start, they are hooked.
i'm all about requiring them to do what i choose.
and in time, they choose it on their own.
{same with tv... we don't have television, just Netflix.  i hate disney channel so i say they can watch tv only if they watch leave it to beaver, or brady bunch, or national geographic or father knows best type shows... at first, they won't choose what i like, but after knowing that they have to, they actually like to.)

i even encourage my little kids do their chores.
my 3 year old will ask, what's next, and i'll tell her she has to read.
she says, "Fine!!" and gets a pile of books.
it's lovely.


--CREATE- this is another great one.
They just have to make something.
Many days, this just expands into our afternoon.
Some kids write songs on the piano,
some play with Play-doh,
some draw,
some make cookies,
some paint.
yes.  create can be messy.  but it is wonderful.
and, i love this job.

--PRACTICE-
we don't always get to this job, but the kids like planning what they are going to practice.
sometimes origami, sometimes it's bike riding, sometimes it's typing.
Create, practice and play are where the kids get to do their summer goals... they choose, i encourage.

--PLAY- another favorite.
this is play not screens.
i love when they play with stuff like legos, barbies, blocks, puzzles, games, outside, etc.


With this job list, my days are lovely.
i have no guilt if we stay home all day, because my kids have done great things.
We are usually done with our list by noon... or at least onto Create, Practice and Play...
so, i have my afternoons free to organize while the little girls sleep.
on the days we go to the pool, we just do the first part of the list, go play by 10 and Create, Practice and Play after lunch while the little girls take naps.
Many days, we don't go on our field trip till 3.
i LOVE going to the park and pool from 3-5pm after naps and before dinner.


NOTE-- this is the other post i wrote this summer on JOBS and letting kids pick their own jobs.
i LOVE this idea...
and i think i will do at the start of EVERY SUMMER or even EVERY MONDAY.
but, it's not the best for every DAY.
it seemed like we were spending A LOT of time writing down our goals each day.
this new chart is flexible enough for them to take ownership of their day...
and, still gives them structure for the things that don't change.


so, once again.  a LONG post, just when i was showing you our new chore chart.
such it is.
and now, time for me to turn off the tv and start my kids on their morning journey.
me-- i'll be making enchiladas for 100... i finished the salsa and mexican rice last night.
wish me luck!!!
fun, fun!!

mommy popular- this is a stupid post... just pass it.

hmmm.
the professor is at the office.
till 5 am. (he says)
we just got back from the pool and burger king.
{i'm a dork.  i gave the burger king guy coupons from McDonald's.  he was like, ????.  he got his boss, she explained, we can't take these, because we're burger king.  duh!!!  it's not my fault burger king had a better play land, and really... did he need to get the supervisor to tell me how dumb i was.   oh life.}
right now, my little girls are sleeping, my big kids are arguing... they should be getting into bed too.
{we're still waiting for that magic age when we can say "go to bed" and they just do it, without prodding.}
i just checked the internet for a minute.
and i found this video.
it's funny.
and.  i think you should all come to my house tonight, so we make up a song and dance, and video tape ourselves... i can't sing, but i could come up with a funny song.
and we could put it on you tube and we'd be famous.
people would see us at the grocery store and be like,
"aren't you that funny mom who sang about boogers on the wall"
and we'd be like "yeah!!!" oh that silly thing...
but really, we'd know we were funny and cool and mommy-popular.
{not to be confused with high school popular.  fyi... i was 6th grade popular, then we moved.  in high school i was nice girl popular, not cool girl popular.  if you know what i mean.  today i'm big family popular... people always remember me from somewhere...  i tell them they probably saw me pushing 2 carts of food at wal-mart with 6 kids following me and thought i was from a polygamist colony...  i'm memorable, "i've seen you before" popular.  not as good as mommy popular or high school popular, but, i'll take it.}
like these moms.
they're funny and cool and i bet in their town they are mommy-popular.
and, i think we'd have fun.
my house.
tonight.
with your broom, laundry and a baby doll.
we'll rock the house.
whoa... DORK blog.
{perhaps this is why i was never cool girl popular...}
i'm just SO excited to go tell the kids lights out.
and hear their whine..... MOOOOOMMMMM!!!
but.  i can do it.
it's worth it.
ready, GO!



what?


you don't want to put your kids to bed either???
ok.
watch this.

and just remember...  i'm here for you brother.  if you need a friend...


i just might have a problem that you understand....
ha!!!

happy.

 112 smiling faces.
(make that 111... lily just got another one.)

nope.  not perfect... but still happy!

oops.  turns out lily is a super cookie sleuth.

mom 111 lily 3

good thing i made extra.

[edit-- just want you to know that these cookies were for ME.

i thought they would be fun to make, and they were!

i'm sure teenagers would have appreciated an ice cream sandwich from Sam's that cost the same, looked better, and took way less time.  

but, i've never made sugar cookies before... and my kids were excited to help... 

and, it was only Monday.  

i don't have to start crossing projects off my list till Thursday!]

summer ideas- share your excess!!

{this is a post where i pour out my brain... feel free to skim!!}

So, Last WEEK, my mind was focused on my HUGE thinking shift...  
Scarcity mentality to Excess mentality.

-i brought 4 suburbans full of stuff to my Philippine friends... i told them to give anything they didn't want to Goodwill.  (they have been taking monthly trips to Goodwill to buy things to ship...)

-i organized LOTS of my house and i can honestly say it is different this time...
i'm getting rid of enough stuff that it STAYS clean.  EVEN MY GIRLS' ROOM.
my problem was not organization, it was EXCESS.
the girls had too much stuff in their drawers so they couldn't keep them clean.  now, it's simple.
my problem, i was in a SCARCITY mentality... i kept a lot, because i felt like my kids already didn't have enough clothes so why would i be getting rid of clothes that they could still wear.
Now, i have a complete EXCESS mentality...  we have SO much.  So much that it is embarrassing.  I am grateful for the opportunity to give to others that need.  I feel this in every area of my life...  I am constantly making little bags of stuff that I can give to people that I know with young children...
even baby clothes... i usually keep mine because i'm not done having babies.  the truth is... my clothes get out-dated.  i really don't need 40 0-3 month outfits.  and, when i have a new baby, i usually buy a few new outfits for him to wear anyway.  when i go through my clothes with an excess mentality, i find so many things that i could give to someone else for the baby they are dressing right now.
i'm still sentimental, and i still have lots of kids, so, i do still keep things... honestly, you can tell i've gotten rid of a lot... but, if you looked at my craft room, you'd still think i had a lot of fabric.  you'd still think my girls have a lot of clothes.  it's a MENTALITY.  and today, i KNOW i have SO MUCH and EXTRA TO SHARE.
Josie said, "In Philippines, we never throw away our leftovers.  We just cook a little, one course, and if there is more than we can eat, we bring it to our neighbors."  This rings over and over in my ears.

-i'm buying less.  even though i keep a lot with the intent to use it... i usually buy stuff that i need instead of use what i have.  because, most of the time i can't FIND what i have... or it's not exactly what i want.  i'm changing and i'm really trying to stay home, create from my resources and make do with what i have.  EVEN IN MY PANTRY.  do you know how much i just buy at the grocery store?  My pantry is pretty organized, but even in that organization, i have a lot of stuff.
{like 20 boxes of Jell-O that i NEVER remember to make; 15 seasoning packets for taco's, beef stew, curry chicken, biscuits and gravy; bags of beans that i always buy and have never once cooked; barley;  etc, etc, etc}
i'm done with this excess...
so, i'm planning my meals around the extra in my pantry.  i want to use up the weird stuff and then keep it simple.
if i buy a seasoning packet, i will use it that week.
Buy less... Use what i have.
i know, this is NEW stuff right?!
it just take me awhile to have stuff sink in.

And, last week, my HEART was focused on a SERVING mentality.

-the problem with house cleaning, is that it has a tendency to become all consuming and it is SO SELFISH.
yes.  it's for your family.
but really, i think it is a tool of Satan to keep good woman distracted from loving others and reaching out.
even distracted from loving our own children who we use as the justification for our excessive house cleaning.
Our houses are cleaner today then they have ever been in the history of the world.
{except perhaps in houses that had slaves... and even then, the masters house may have been clean, but the slaves quarters were less-than-desirable...}
And, we are far less likely to entertain guests, have family members move in with us, know our neighbors.
We get distracted by higher and higher levels of cleanliness and are embarrassed for people to see that our houses are lived in.
i am guilty of this.  and ashamed of this.
so... i really make a point of not letting my home keep me from serving...
i force myself to reach out to others and amazingly, my home is fine...
it's the same as if i would have spent all day cleaning it, and i feel good about myself.

{{when i go to my friends house and see that it is messy... i LOVE them more.  for real.  it is hard for me to be friends with "perfect people".  so, why do i have to bite my tongue hard to not apologize for my mess??  i dunno?!}}

so, with a calculated effort to NOT wait till my organization was finished before i reached out,

-i invited 2 wards to come swim in my [neighborhood] pool and have a pot luck lunch.  on a day that it rained.  one boy split his head open doing a backwards cannonball.  the ambulance came.  he got over 100 stitches.  poor, poor boy.  miraculous plastic surgeon.  i don't think i'll invite that big of a group over again.

-i brought dinner to 2 families (sweet friend who just had her 7th baby, 2 months early; and sweet friend who spent the day in the emergency room, in her swim suit.)

-we had a good friend stay with us for a night...  and i FORGOT to have him sign our signature linen.  i'm so mad about that.  (love you brobergs!!  maybe we'll be neighbors again someday)

-we had a baby shower at our house for 3 woman from primary...
oh, i had grand plans for this shower, it ended up lovely and just fine
{my kids and i hot glued white pom poms onto yarn for a cute garland.  it was so cute, but when i went to hang it up it was a BIG KNOT.  i spent 40 minutes trying to untangle it and finally just gave up... oh, my sweet pom pom garland that never was.  AND, i made a white chocolate covered chex mix.  only, i was dumb, and just poured all the melted chocolate over the mix and stuck it in the fridge to harden.  yes.  it hardened.  into a big solid lump.  when i went to pour it into my white bowl, it wouldn't budge.  turns out you're supposed to let it harden on wax paper and then combine it.  my friends laughed at the white chocolate pieces all over the floor- evidence of my wrestle with the chex mix).
overall, the shower was a really nice chance to get to know woman i go to church with that i didn't know before...
grand plans... sweet reality

-i sewed 2 dresses {for leah and anna}, cut out a new white temple dress for me, and made 6 baby blankets {just soft flannel or minky on one side and cotton on the other, with a embroidered name on the corner.  so cute!  thanks for the idea Ashley!!}

-i spent my organizing hours on the phone with sweet friends and uplifting conversation {thanks to taneil, rebekah and my mom} my poor neck!!

-i planned and canceled a 4th of july camping trip {due to rain}  thanks for the invite Partingtons!!

-i planned and canceled a fun invite to the 4th of July parade {yes, i'm a fair-weathered friend} thanks for the invite Stevens!!

-i went to my church for THREE hours, and then stayed for the NEXT service to help interpret ASL for the deaf sisters in that ward.  I was asked to interpret Sunday School, which is the second hour.  I usually just sit on the couches in the foyer for the ending of the first hour and then go to Sunday School.  But, yesterday, I felt like I should go into Sacrament Meeting.  The second time I felt that prompting, I just went in, thinking I'd sit in the back and listen to the service.  I was surprised to see that no interpreter was in that meeting.  There was a sister trying to write out the meeting with a pen and paper.  I went to the front and was able to interpret.  Surprised and grateful that I had heard and acted upon that small prompting.  God knew I could help.  

-we had a fun 4th of July dinner with sweet friends, Whitby's and McCombs...  the kids went outside and watched fireworks in the street...  my girls tried on every outfit of sweet 5 year old Laurens... we left a mess, but loved the company.  Thanks again Mira!  {i know it isn't easy to invite over a family of 8!!} 

overall, i feel my week was full.

{{when i read over this blog, after i'd posted it, i was tempted to take this part out...  i didn't, for example, include the many quarrels that i calmed, the days that we didn't have scripture time, the areas of my home that are NOT clean and orderly, the times that i prayed and prayed for empathy for todd's dissertation when i want to scream at him to come home and bail me out because i get in WAY over my head...  
and, i didn't include the list of 100 things people did as service for me...  the people who watched my kids, brought me homemade bread, shared wisdom, sent me emails with recipes and ideas, taught me to sew for real, BAILED me out when i got in over my head-- thanks todd!  yes, he stayed home all day on Thursday, the day of my baby shower, to help me organize all of our papers and clean up.  he traded me for all day Saturday.  it was PERFECT.  i didn't tell you about the sweet friend who sent me a card with coupons to McDonald's and Bahama Bucks, this is how i could send my kids out to eat while i set out the food for my baby shower.  i am so blessed by the selfless service of SO MANY.  the service i did last week may not have been the most needed or the most helpful,.  i did what i felt i should do.  little things that required me to stretch.
i am choosing NOT to delete this list because, i didn't write it to tell the world how great i was last week.  
--i'm not great, just normal... and, you would be surprised how much you do in a week if you wrote it all out.
i wrote this blog as my testimony.  to myself.  so i will remember.  I can serve more than i think i can.  I can help others even when I feel like someone should be serving me.  I can give to others even when I think I need...  I have learned that I do have excess.  Enough stuff, Enough skill, Enough time, Enough food.  Enough and EXTRA.  I can serve.  I can invite people over.  I can reach out.  Even on the days, ESPECIALLY on the days when I'm feeling sorry for myself.  Something magical happens when i reach out...  I HATE making meals for my family, when it's just a humdrum necessary task. --i know that's a horrible thing to say--  I LOVE making extra to bring to someone else.  i LOVE planning a FUN meal or a really healthy meal, or cooking for company, or making a birthday dinner, or sprinkling parsley in the sour cream so it looks pretty... and that's why i serve.  with all my heart.  i feel joy when i'm serving and frustration when i'm just surviving.  yes, i cycle in my service.  sometimes i tell myself that i am doing to much, that i need to scale back and just focus on my family.  and, sometimes that is important.  but, i am not happier when i just focus on my family.  my family is not more functional when i just focus on my family.  i truly believe that when i am willing to serve, God expands my capacity, He expands my Joy and He blesses my home with peace and joy.  Not when i serve begrudgingly, not when i allow anxiety to be an excuse for my contention... but, when I serve with gratitude and peace and joy... i am better than i am when i focus only on my family.  Women who know, do less.  Less decorations, more getting together with woman.  Less fancy meals, more friendly meals.  Less washing windows, more smiling at the fingerprints.  Less perfect hand-outs for Sunday School, more spiritual study and preparation.  I can do less trying to appear perfect, and more service with a pure, perfect heart.  when it comes to service, i believe we all can do more.  a sweet friend of mine reminded me once, "the only things we can take with us when we die are the BONDS that we make with others." i love this.  and, i really try to overcome my natural tendency to turn inward... this week, i think it's all about bonds.}}

what about my kids?
they are doing well.
we have productive mornings and free afternoons.
i have been organizing in the afternoons.
we have scripture time, chores and practice in the morning.
i've had them pick something to CREATE as part of their morning jobs.  that's fun.
and, they all help make lunch.
i really let them have free time all afternoon.
they have downloaded Hanna Montana on Netflix and have watched MUCH hanna.
i remember ellie's joy when she clicked on season one.  "Look Mom!  26 episodes!!"
the professor and i like hanna.
i heard billy ray said he wouldn't do the show if they made the kids smarter than the dad.
so, he always wins.  hanna always learns a lesson.  and, they aren't sassy to their parents.
yes.  we have probably had Screen watching excess last week.  i'm tempted to say this week is NO SCREEN week.
but honestly, i don't want the mess that their creative play makes.
maybe next week, when i'm finished doing the food for youth conference.

Yesterday, I had a couple sweet moments where I was reminded that my service is blessing the lives of my children.

First- Ellie and Anna shared their testimony at church.  Anna does often.  Her testimony was sweet, she told about a time when her grandma had cancer and lost her hair.  how she prayed and fasted for her, and now she is better.  Ellie told about our friend who split his head open.  She only spoke a little, she told how she could see his skull and then just started to cry.  I went up beside her and told the miracles that he received, how he got a blessing and was able to sit AWAKE, while they stitched his head back together for over an hour.  What a miracle it was that he didn't have a cracked skull.  How Ellie prayed in the car and felt peace.  It was a sweet moment for Ellie and for all of us who could feel her concern, faith and gratitude.  Sweet Ellie.

Second- My friend Josie shared her testimony about coming to America and getting courage from God to make friends.  She talked about coming to our home and said that she hopes Jakob and Drew will someday come to her country on a mission.  That afternoon, Jakob told me he hopes he goes to the Philippines on his mission, because he loves the food {??!}.  He said, "Mom, when I'm saving up money to pay for my mission, I'm going to save an extra couple hundred dollars.  And then, I'm going to buy some fabric to take with me."
Sweet boy. 

This week, my week is full again.  
The professor is frantically trying to finish up his dissertation proposal (he's been up at school till 10pm the past few nights and will probably be late again this week).  And, I'm in charge of Youth Conference meals dinner, breakfast, lunch, dinner and brunch- for 100.
I'm really trying not to stress about it.
I'm pretty good at not stressing.
but, this scares me.
Today, my kids and I are going to make 100 smiley faced sugar cookies.  i think it will be fun, but i'm nervous because i'm not a baker and i don't want them to look homemade.
{i found this website- bake at 350* for great tips}
I don't want to loose this week with my kids while i stress about food... so i'm making a point of DOING something each day with them... park, pool, library, movies, etc.
This is going to be hard for me.  Cause i'm stressing a bit.
Honestly.  everything will be work out.  it probably won't be as perfect as i hope it will be.
but ultimately, it will be great.

Life is good.
I am so BLESSED.
We all are so blessed.
Blessed to live here in America.
Blessed to have people we love and people who love us.
Blessed to have all the COMFORTS of life.
Blessed to have good food, entertainment and education.
Blessed to have busy summer days and lazy summer days.
Blessed to have siblings and children and extended family.  Neighbors and Friends.
Blessed to have a Heavenly Father who knows us, who loves us, who lets us grow and become.
Blessed to have a Savior who already died to make up for the areas where we fall short, who loves and forgives, always.  Who takes our water and turns it into exquisite wine.
Blessed to have the guidance of the Holy Spirit each day to guide us and whisper the little things we can do to love and serve.
Blessed to have scripture and words of wisdom from modern-day leaders who help to guide us direct us...
{want to listen to a great mom "enjoy the moments" talk-- go here}
Blessed to be able to serve.

Today.  I am so grateful.

help!!??

ok.  so i'm doing the food for a youth conference at our church NEXT WEEK.
for 100 teenagers.
i need some BRUNCH recipes.
for Saturday morning.
have any good ones?
and, on Friday night i thought we were doing a cookout and it turns out we're doing a FORMAL dinner with a ROYAL theme.
i'm trying to get a pig for a pig roast. if i can't, we'll do ham.
do you have a great cheesy potatoe recipe??
do you do anything wonderful to green beans for 100?
a lovely dessert? 
thanks.

We interrupt the regulary scheduled program...

BLOGGING temporarily PAUSED.

house overhaul- operation Philippines.

[i do believe i have enough crap excess to fill one whole island.]

garage [remember here]

book shelves [finished this]

craft room [i know!!!  amazing!!]

my closet [i can see clearly now, the rain is gone...]

master bedroom

professor's closet

kitchen cabinets

girls' room

little girls' room

boys' room

bathroom cupboards

linen closet

coat closet

i know i've tried to "organize" hundreds of times before...
and it's just a neverending story...
but this time it's different.
a leap not a step...
i can feel it in my bones.
big, big changes ahead...
STAY TUNED.

ps.  i have a new friend, who just moved to lubbock.  

the other day she laughed at me and said, "you are so funny, you are always saying that things change your life."

and.  it's true.

remember this post?  

i believe in being born again... and again... and again...

and this week.

i'm born again.  again.

my house is in the process of baptism by water and fire.

i believe we will both end up cleansed and sealed.

i teach free for my sister.

after eating my ice cream, and seeing my fabric laden craft room,
sweet josie, my adopted Philippine grandma, offered to teach me to make a pattern.
i kindly said, no thank you.
i just quilt.  and decorate. i don't sew.
she insisted.
after 2 weeks, and many chance meetings where she reminded me, "i'm waiting for your call"
we hooked up.
honestly, i had many things i would have rather been doing.
like CLEANING my craft room.
again.
or finishing one of the hundreds of unfinished projects i already started.
NOT learning to make a pattern.
for a dress.
that i can't sew well.
[i know you think i can sew.  and i can.  but not really.  i got a sewing machine for my wedding, and i taught myself to sew straight.  quilts not clothes.  skirts with elastic waist bands.  halloween costumes yes.  prom dresses no.]
josie measured and drafted and taught me like the school teacher she is in her country.
her friend asked her how much she was charging me.
she said, "i teach free for my sister."

sweet, sweet teacher.
ungrateful student.
we spent 3 hours.
and made two pattern pieces.
a bodice for me and a bodice for leah.
she said, "i come back tomorrow at 2."

we spent hours talking and tracing and eventually cutting fabric.
josie made dresses without a pattern when she was 15.
she got married to a man who was always drunk, and never worked.
"if i didn't know how to sew, my babies would have starved." she explained.
first she sewed dresses and sold them at little neighborhood shops.
she eventually worked at or owned a tailor shop.
when people would come asking for a job she would use their scissors.
if they were sharp, she would consider them.
if they had no scissors, or their scissors were dull, she would send them away.
josie admired my gingher sewing scissors.
she had never used a pair so nice.
but, mine were dull.
i'm going to buy her a pair to take home.
josie has an electric sewing machine.
it only goes straight.
she teaches technology.
the people in her class learn on a peddle sewing machine.
i showed her my machine.
how i can make button holes.
and blind hems.
and ruffles.
i would give her my machine.
i would trade machines with her... if it were possible.
she is a tailor.
i make crafts.

during the 10 hours we have "sewed" together so far, josie has realized that i really don't know how to sew.
she is surprised.
i laugh and i'm a little embarrassed.
for me, and for america. 
i said, "You didn't believe me when i told you i didn't know how to sew clothes."
she said, "you have so much fabric, i thought you were a tailor."
i wish i could give her my fabric.
i went to the store and bought 7 yards of fabric for the dress she is helping me to make.
she said 3 yards would have been plenty.
i have a room full of fabric and i bought more.
that is what i do.
and i am ashamed.
most days i think i am poor.
josie says, "you are so lucky that you can stay home with your family.  you have a good husband."
yes.  i do.  i am.
i apologize for my messy sewing room and josie says not to worry.
but i can see she is confused.
once, as she fingers a quilt top that i have on my wall, she asks "why do you not finish this?"
i laugh.  actually, i have two of those quilt tops- one for me and one for my mom.
my mother didn't like it. so i stopped.  i want to finish it and give it to josie as a gift.
oh josie, i have hundreds of projects that i haven't finished.
i begin showing her all the quilts i have in process.
i am embarrassed.
i have too much.
and, still i cry because i can't buy my girls matching Gymboree dresses.
actually, i CAN buy them matching Gymboree dresses and i STILL cry.
i am so ungrateful.
i have a whole room full of unfinished matching dresses that i could make, for free, if i had the skills.

"this is good for you to learn," she explained. "you have 4 girls."
her girls were 18 before they had their first store bought dress.
i can't keep my house clean because i have too much stuff.  ??!!
oh america.

yesterday, josie left me with a little dress all cut out and ready to sew, for leah.
she assured me that it would only take me an hour to sew it.
i went to bed at 1am.
i really wanted to make her proud.
i am a kindergarten tailor.
the sleeves took me an hour.
i tried to do her homemade piping... and, it's ok, if you don't look close.
my machine got all messed up on my blind hem stitch, and i'm embarrassed for when she looks underneath
and wonders why i went around and around 100 times with my machine instead of just hemming it by hand.
and the buttonholes.
oh those stupid buttonholes.
i can make 500 perfect buttonholes on scrap fabric.
but EVERY TIME i try to make a buttonhole on the back of the dress that i have already spent 4 hours sewing...
HOLY STRING STUFF happens.
the front looks fine, the back. like Cousin It.
i hate Cousin It.
i unpicked buttonholes twice.
i was embarrassed for me and america.
josie does all her buttonholes by hand.
her daughter remembers stitching buttonholes by hand when she was a little girl.
helping in her mother's dress shop.
laura engles worked in "town" for a summer stitching button holes.
i tried a buttonhole by hand.

i am a PRESCHOOL tailor.
my hand-sewn buttonhole is laughable.
but, more functional than my Cousin It machine buttonholes.
after hand-sewn number one.  i zigzag stitched number 2 and 3.  and they are better.
number 3 was perfect.  but too small, i had to rip it out and start again.
again.
i had visions of josie coming to my house today and showing her 4 matching little girl dresses that i had made last night.
i tried on my own, to draft a pattern for anna.
my arm holes look like withered bananas.
i couldn't cut the fabric, because i'm not sure it would really function as a dress.
you know, i really want to make josie proud.
i want her to feel how grateful i am.
i want to learn this, so i have a skill that i could use to feed my family. 

i am humbled.
not in my sewing, in my excess.
in my selfish ingratitude, when i have so much.
so, so much.
when sweet josie offered to teach me to make patterns- she was offering to give me her greatest gift.
and.  i said "no thank you."
josie's daughter, edely, she works nights as a nurse.  she sends money home to her family.
so they can eat.
i complain.
because my cabinets are brown.

josie is an answer to prayer.
an answer i didn't even realize i needed.
my heart is changed.

today.
i am humbled.
and grateful.
and determined to live simply and stay focused on what is REAL.
my life is real.
but not really.

boy scouts. that's plural.

 the professor boy scout and my oldest left yesterday for SCOUT CAMP.
oh how i miss them.
the professor is HAAA LAIR EEEEE OUS.
so funny.
he knows there is an award for the smallest pack at scout camp.
my boys won.
he spent 20 minutes explaining the ills of bringing a suitcase to scout camp.
duffels are ok.
[he does remember seeing boys with Addidas duffel bags at scout camp when he was growing up.
he'd think to himself... this is SCOUT CAMP, NOT SOCCER camp.]
but backpacks are the best.
[see that ugly army backpack he uses?  it has to stay in our bedroom... on the FLOOR, on his side of the bed... he doesn't want it to get DUSTY in the garage or the attic-- oh my.]
i had to hold him back from purchasing a new, steal rimmed, hiking backpack for jakob.
had he been a full fledged doctor, jakob would have been wearing a HIKING backpack.
HUH???!!
they are going to swim at a lake...
in a town.
NOT hike mountains.
Good thing my boys have their HIKING BOOTS on.
for a 4 hour car ride.
in the bmw.
that doesn't have air conditioning.
i suggested they bring flip flops.
THE HORROR!
Flip Flops at SCOUT CAMP???!!!
(well, maybe for the showers- my boy scout consented)
he opted to leave them home- due to luggage restraints.
how i love these sweet boys.
for sure, i married the boy scout nerd.
i have a feeling he would have been wearing socks to his knees all week if he owned a pair.

jakob was SOO excited.
he told me 10 times about his "tender mercy"
finding a new pocket knife ON CLEARANCE at wal-mart for only $5.
he's certain it's just like Uncle Ben's
it could probably have cost $50...
jakob woke up at 5:30am.  he was hopping to get in the car... to be at the church by 9am.
sweet, sweet boy.
honestly, as they drove away i had tears in my eyes.
(maybe because they were taking my camera for a whole week)
how i will miss them.
how i pray they will be safe.

i KNOW their feet will be protected.


i watched this today.
the story of bottled water.
hmmm.

to kanariville.

nie reminded me of this video.
the professor reminded me of this story yesterday
i was lamenting and he was encouraging...
this time in our life will someday be a memory...

sometimes life is hard.
my life is grand.  perfect.  wonderful.  everything i've ever dreamed of.
and, it's hard.
especially as we struggle through this LAST year of graduate school...
with six kids.
i wonder if we can do it.
and i know we can do it.
honestly, it is hard.
my sweet husband bears the brunt of uncertainty, financial concerns and mega-intellectual stress.
on the front end of this journey i kind of laughed...
my "professor" had the most self confidence of anyone i'd ever known.
i didn't think that the rigors of grad school would ever touch him.
i was wrong.
he's struggled and i've struggled feeling his stress.
i remember days of yesterday... when we were so carefree... when work ended at 4:30 pm.
and i had a husband on saturday.
all day.
i remember a time when we just knew that if we tried to do what was right, it would all work out.
we know that now.
we just understand that "all work out" sometimes is the hard way.
and sometimes is the easy way.
and sometimes it will "all work out" some magical day in the future.
we still think it will be worth it in the end.
well, we HOPE it will be worth it.
one more year.
one dissertation.
one job offer.
one day at a time.

summer ideas- signature linen.

i saw this idea on home and family and knew i had to do it.  (go look at hers, it's so fun!)
we have a special linen table cloth.
when friends come over, we have them sign it and date it.
and then i stitch on top of their signature...
with my tiniest stitches.
while i'm watching netflix
(leave it to beaver, or brady bunch, wishing i had an ALICE.  really, i could be Mrs. Brady with Alice.)

when they come back, they just add a date!!
isn't that fun?!!
i LOVE pulling out my table cloth and remembering all my sweet friendships.
i only wish i had started this tradition when we were first married.
i have so many "ghost" signatures on my cloth.

come on over for dinner and become part of our friendly signature linen!! 

want to hear a funny story about this dinner??
these sweet friends are from the Philippians.
Edeley and Marlin, live here.  they are ADORABLE. 
Josie, Edely's mom (in the purple shirt) is just visiting.
this is her first time in America. she is also ADORABLE.
she is going to teach me to sew a dress.
we fed them american enchiladas.  :)
gave them their first experience with our life-defying trampoline
and made home-made ice cream.
josie makes ice cream in the Philippians.
it takes her at least 4 hours...
she mixes it up, then puts it in the freezer and takes it out to stir every 20 minutes till it's frozen.
oh, i taught her... this is an ice cream maker... it only takes 40 minutes.
"but does it get hard? does it freeze without the freezer?" she kept asking.
"Oh Yes!!" i insisted.
this is america.  home of the EASY way.  :)
her daughter said, "Mom, if you want, we can buy you an ice cream maker to take back with you."

so, fast forward 40 minutes.
we had the ice cream maker in our master bathroom because it is loud.
the professor kept going to check on it, he kept whispering to me that it was still pretty soft.
finally, i decided it was long enough, we could handle softer homemade ice cream over our brownies.
i used pioneer woman's recipe for vanilla ice cream... with a REAL vanilla bean. 
it looked just like Breyers.
well, Breyers soup.
not even a milkshake.
more soup.
Josie taught me, "Yes, it is good.  You just need to put it in the freezer."
i smiled.
this, i thought, is AMERICA in all her glory.

after they left, i re-read the recipe.
turns out that ON THE RECIPE, it says to use an ice cream maker and THEN freeze for 8 hours before serving.
seriously.
next time, i'll read the fine print.
or... i'll bake her American Apple Pie.
with Pilsbury crust.
cause, after all folks, i'm a native.
no picture of the ice cream soup.  just look at a glass of milk.

snuffy.

i got a haircut.
and, i'm still snuffy.
blah.

summer ideas- berries!!

don't you love berries in the summer?
fresh berries in the grocery store all year round makes me proud to be an american...
and proud to live in the 21st century.
when we lived in Michigan, we could pick our own raspberries... it was magical.
here in texas, not so much.
but, we do love to buy berries...
and eat them.
i make fruit salad once a week.
fresh pineapple, strawberries, blueberries and a little bit of splenda.

and strawberry shortcake with fresh cream.
mmm
 but my FAVORITE, FAVORITE berry thing this summer has been...
this blackberry/blueberry cobbler from Pioneer Woman.

Some people call it cup-a, cup-a, cup-a.
This is the EASY recipe.
1 stick of butter
1 c. milk
1c. sugar (plus 1/4 c. to sprinkle on top)
1c. flour
1 pint of berries.

I melt the butter in a pie tin while the oven is preheating to 350*.
Then I pour most of the butter into the batter and mix it up before i pour the batter into the pie tin.
Don't forget to sprinkle the sugar on top before you bake.

350* for an hour.

oh my gosh.  this is SOOO good.
once i doubled the recipe and poured it into an 8x8 pan.
it was still divine, but i REALLY love the consistency of the pie pan cobbler.
next time, i think i'll double the recipe and pour it into 2 pie tins.
seriously.
try this.
sooo good. sooo easy and very summer.
ps.  i'm sick.
fever, sweaty, stuffy nose, sick.
who gets sick in the SUMMER?
i'm kinda mad... cause i was having a GREAT summer.
i keep telling myself this is just a speed bump, not a dead end...
tomorrow i'll be feeling better.
tomorrow.

summer ideas- sculpy.

ellie wanted to learn sculpture this summer.
we started with play doh.
we got some books about making bowls with clay- this was not the sculpture she wanted.
we got some books about sculpy figurines.
to ellie, this was real "sculpture"

sculpy was on sale for 50% off last week-- i had 7 dollars so i bought 6 colors. (about $1.15 each.)
JoAnn's had a multi pack of Sculpy for $18.
i may go back with a 50% off coupon and get some more.

i picked an easy bird from our sculpy book...
i forced everyone to make one.
(not physically, i just said they had to make a bird.  even if some wanted to play Wii and some wanted to make Santa Claus.)
i told them the bird was SMALL.
i read the book out loud step by step, "figuring it out" with them.
[It's so important for moms to show kids that they don't know how to do it either-- so important in creating independent kids.]
We all worked together, and EVERYONE loved it.
especially me.

so fun.