I never accomplish my goals... because i tend to re-evaluate daily and change what i think is important.
None the less... this year I have some HOPES and DREAMS and PLANS i'm beginning to explore.
These are my HOPES for next year... in no particular order.
2011 HOPE LIST
1. WELCOME a healthy baby girl into our family.
I HOPE that her birth will be unique, and spiritual, and meaningful, and different than all my other births. I HOPE that I can deliver her naturally and experience birth like I never have before. I HOPE that I will be prepared for her. That she will come into our lives peacefully and that the transition will be calm and organized and natural for our whole family. I'm so excited to meet this little one.
My sister in law (lanette) says I'm bordering on OCD with my house. I think OCD is only a problem when it negatively affects other aspects of your life. So far, we're good. There have been areas of my life and my home that have bothered me FOREVER. Since I got married. Since I started having children. Organization is something that I desire and have NEVER been able to achieve. This is the year that I HOPE to have systems for everything in my home. I want to say that EVERYTHING is purged, sorted and labeled. I feel powerful thinking that this is possible. I'm not talking about a house of perfect cleanliness. I'm talking about a home with systems that are set in place. When I pick something up I know exactly where it belongs. I have no "MISC." boxes in my closets or attics. Oh, i really HOPE this is possible.
I'm scared, very scared to attempt this. But I am very HOPEFUL that our home will not only sell, but sell in a timely manner... so that our transition to Oregon will be as stress and worry free as possible.
I've already started designing... and picking out paint colors... and HOPING for our new home. The house where we will raise our children, and invite our family to visit, and welcome in friends. I have pictures gathered and ideas swarming in my mind. I don't think this will be the year we purchase our new home... i think we will need to rent first. But, I hope to know the schools we want our kids to be registered in and the area we want to live in. I'm excited to live in a rental while we renovate our new home and get it ready for our family. HOPEFULLY this will be a fun, exciting process. I HOPE for a crisper, whiter home. I hope for that feeling of clean and order that i get from WHITE. I'm craving the crispness of white in my life, but I'm scared of white... with kids. I HOPE i can have white, and I HOPE i will love it as much as I think I will. Random, i know.
my physical body affects my mind and my family more than any other external force. When I'm hurting and tired and lazy physically... I'm cranky and unkind and unloving mentally. Someday i will learn to overcome this mind/body attachment. But, this year i just want to focus on being healthy. My body is amazing. It makes babies. It helps me think and act and become stronger mentally. God has given us a great earth, amazing resources for health and happiness. I want to experience life this year. Enjoy the outdoors, fill my body with good, healthy food. I want my family to be happy and active and to experience the bounty and beauty of the earth. This year i hope to be more HEALTHY, more ACTIVE, and more informed. I want my children to experience the world. To climb trees, to play in the sand, to see the beauty of God's creations. I want them to taste garden tomatoes and wild blackberries and to feel warm, fresh ground flour and stretchy yeast dough. I want their nails to be full of dirt, their legs to ache from climbing and their arms to tingle from the spray of waterfalls. Life is so good. I hope we can enjoy this year healthy and active.
I HOPE to find small moments to connect more with people, to really see them. Especially the little people in my life. I want to laugh with them more and correct them less. I HOPE to know them better, to discover their fears, their hopes, their joys, their trials more. I'm very good at creating experiences for my family. I'm good at teaching and giving them opportunities to learn and experience life. This year, I HOPE to know them more on their terms. To find moments where I see what makes them smile... instead of giving them experiences that make me smile. I don't think this will take more time, I think it will take more awareness. This year, I HOPE to be more aware. To have the eyes of God as I view my husband and my children. I HOPE to see them as He sees them, to know them more, to love them more, to enjoy them more, to be in awe of their potential and really, really SEE them.
8. TRUST myself. I always doubt. Always. I am easily swayed by other people's opinions, or even what I think other people are thinking. This year, I want to listen more to my soul. To my body. To what I really feel. And, listen less to what I think other people are thinking. I want to just DO the things I think I should do. Like, clean my house, or have a natural birth, or write a book, or have 10 kids. I want to get dressed and smile and love others and not give a damn how they think I should be spending my time. It's a balance. I believe a mother must learn to loose herself inorder to find herself. I started selfish. I learned to give up myself... to have children... to be married... to serve... and love... and forget myself. I am patient and flexible and calm amidst chaos. And now, this year, i HOPE to find myself again. To BE all that my heart yearns to BE without loosing the lessons i've learned. And guess what? My heart yearns to be a mother. My heart yearns to be ordered. My heart yearns to be one with my husband. My heart yearns to create. My heart yearns to connect with other people. So, in a year that I'm hoping to trust myself more, i'm glad that I know deep down, I'm a pretty good person.
i love my camera. i love to capture images of my life. i hate that most of my pictures are too dark or blurry. I HOPE this year to really learn how to use a manual camera. To understand white balance, and shutter speed and aperture. I don't want to be a professional photographer. I do want to record my life... the beauty that I see all around me. I want to be able to see beauty, and capture it. I HOPE my feeble brain can grasp the concepts of camera usage that I have tried to grasp many times before. 2011... this is the year I learn to photograph. I hope.
i have spent MANY years learning, creating, becoming. I've had to create a home, create a parenting philosophy, create a system for life... chores, scripture time, holidays, homework, laundry, meals, personal scripture time, summers, sabbath day, friend time, family time, etc. I feel peaceful and settled in my life processes. Of course I will modify and change as the years progress. Revision is part of my established process. But, this year, I HOPE i can just maintain. Maintain the goodness that we have established. Even amidst the transition times. My family is happiest when we do the things we KNOW work. I suppose I would say our top priorities will be Family Prayer, Family Meals, Family Scripture Time, Family Nights, Family Traditions, and Family Work. When I MAINTAIN these areas of my life, we are happy. This year, I hope to MAINTAIN.
I can feel in my bones that this is going to be a great year for our family.
A tough transition year, yes.
A growing year, yes.
But a great year nonetheless.
I like running uphill much better than running downhill.
What about you? What are your dreams for 2011?
4 comments:
It all sounds wonderful, Jen, and knowing you, you'll accomplish it and even get started on your book. I'd buy it ♥ I can use all of the helpful advice I can get. I, too, want to laugh more with my kids and correct them less. I hope that this year I can get better at that. I am also on an organizing kick- at least looking around for ways to better organize our home.
I use a lot of resources for photography, but here is one that I have found really useful...especially the forums.
http://www.digital-photography-school.com/
Oh, also a free video podcast - search D Town TV. It's really, really good.
Jen, you sure can write things the way no one else can! I feel your passion as I read your blog. You would be a great book writer - and I would definitely buy your book!
I generally start out a new year with lots of resolutions (except I call them "goals" to make myself feel better) - areas I want to change or improve or do differently - and then I don't do any of them. This year I've read on a few different blogs about just choosing a word for the year and focusing on that in every area of life. That sounds easier to me, more doable, more all-encompasing, instead of a hundred different things that are so overwhelming. My word for the new year is Sanctuary. Making and finding sanctuary in my home, my marriage, with my kids, relationships with others, and my relationship with God. We'll see if I'm better at a word than a 100-item list!
Oh! And I love your baby names! I voted for the name Hope...even before I read this post! :) It won't let me vote again, but the Mister says to tell you he votes for Ruby. :)
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