growing up.

i love this kid.

and, i LOVE watching my kids grow up.

EVERY DAY i am awed by their goodness and self discipline

and,
EVERY DAY i am reminded that i am SO BLESSED.
really, aside from an occasional exhausting toddler, my kids are good.
Jakob is passing the sacrament now at church.
I can't watch him without crying (this could also be due to hormones).
He really is growing up.
And, I'm so excited to see the man he becomes.
For now, I LOVE twelve.

My bigger girls have not been fun in the mornings or the afternoons- for their whole life.
They dawdle when getting dressed and try to play instead of doing their chores after school.
My boys wake up, on their own, at 6am to get all their stuff done before school and still have time to read...
I keep telling my boys, when they whine about their sisters who are "making them late", the girls are just younger- you were the same way when you were their age.
But, sometimes I'm not sure if that is true. 
Moms tend to forget the hard parts of mothering fairly quickly.
Anyway, I've been HOPING that my girls would out grow their sock tantrums... AND, guess what?
This past week my girls have been up early and dressed and happy.
They look nice and they are ready to go, ON THEIR OWN, at least 30 minutes before Drew is ushering everyone into the car.
It's great.
And, it just happened.
They are really excited about doing their hair-- and I let them use my straightener and curling iron.
I don't help them.
(It's the tiger mom in me.)
When they whine that they don't know how to curl the back, i just tell them that if I always do it for them, they will never learn.  (Or, I tell them that maybe they are too young to be able to curl their hair-- that gets them motivated to try again!)
And, their hair looks darling.

My kids are growing up, and I love it.
THIS is why I have a big family.
They are growing up and it is joyful to watch.

ps.
Lily is as independent as my other girls...

doesn't she look pretty?

yes, i'm going crazy being 9 months pregnant.
but, i do love my life.

pps- oh my gosh!!  i just pushed post and then view blog and i looked again at those pictures of lily- under the title "growing up".
!!???!!  did you see that?  SHE is my baby!!  And she looks so grown up.
This is my lily...

just yesterday.

yesterday... blink... today... 

oh my!

i think i need to go swaddle her in her "ankie" and let her suck her thumb and play with my hair and whisper over and over in her ear... just stay little, ok?!

i do love seeing them growing- but i LOVE the yesterdays as much as the tomorrows.

I believe it IS possible to enjoy today and hope for tomorrow and still miss yesterday?

and, i hope it isn't possible for one's heart to burst from loving so many, so much.

ppps.- jakob still climbs in bed with me in the mornings and whispers that he loves me and lets me rub his back... yes,  he's twelve.  But he will ALWAYS be my baby boy.  oh, i'm crying again-- those hormones.