August 11, 2011

relaxed?

todd got home from work for a few minutes before he left for scout camp.
he said, "honey you look cute."
i laughed, because i didn't.
he said, "no, really you do.  have you been exercising?"
i laughed again, because my life is exercise.
he said, "I just thought you might have been exercising because you look sweaty."
that poor guy... he's just not so good at compliments is he?

i spoke with my mom this evening.
she had been looking at pictures of my blog and said, "you look good, jen.  you look more relaxed than i have seen you in a long time."
i laughed.
relaxed?
my life is not very relaxing.
it is baby steps forward with children hanging onto my every limb.
i LOVE this picture.  it is my life.
blueberry picking was PERFECT... but, not relaxing.
we had 8:30 am dentist appointments for drew and anna-- pre-picking.
jakob is at scout camp, todd is teaching class, so i had to bring my brood of 6 to the dentist with me.
it was a rushed morning...
i have been making my kids listen to old tapes in the car.  (i'm kinda sick of all things modern these days... except blogs- still like them.)
so, my kids stayed in the car listening to "Obey Land" and i ran in and out of the dentist office checking on them while my older kids swapped appointments and x-rays. 
(they both need like 5 teeth pulled...  holy teeth happening!!)
then, we headed to the fields.
of course, i got lost.
about 100 times.
we pulled up to the farm and i realized i FORGOT my baby bjorn on the counter in my kitchen.  blah!!
i had to hold eve the whole time-- because she was NOT excited about her car seat or the umbrella stroller.
picking blueberries is not very easy one-handed... with a tired baby.
imagine a beautiful field with shouts of "i found another blue one mom!!"  and, "here is a great bush."  and, "Lily, stop eating the red ones!"  and a sweet baby cry echoing through the valley...
that was my life.
my one "relaxed" picture is of me nursing and wondering if we would end up with any berries in our buckets since most seemed destined for little mouths... 

i suppose i do look a little relaxed?  really, i'm just SEIZING.
embracing the chaos.
i'm certain i have blueberry stains on the bum of my jeans.
i'm potty training lily.
(finally!!  that poor child had to wait through the birth of a baby, a move, and family reunions before I was ready...)
she had to go potty twice while we were picking... ugh-- potty training is not so pretty in a porta-potty.
i did remember a change of clothes for her-- but she stayed dry the whole time!! 
lily has reverted to giving open-mouth kisses like baby eve. 
and, don't you love sweet anna trying to braid lily's hair?  girls!
(please ignore the boxes in the background?!  ugh.)
we had a great time.
relaxing?  nope.

I thought for a long time how i would describe my life lately.
Maybe content more than relaxed... but even content seems a bit too stagnant.
this is a growing time for me... not a slower time.
I am SEIZING.
does that sound good?
i'm seizing the moments.
i laugh at myself.
"Jen, you look very seizing lately."
"why, thank you."
and, it's busy, and tiring, but wonderful. 
i love being a mother to many.

our neighbor has dogs... my kids LOVE to take them for a walk, often.
we've been enjoying a lot of fresh produce, much to the chagrin of my 4 year old.
leah doesn't love zucchini or onions or many of the things i try to hide in her dinner.
tonight i spent many moments with her encouraging her to bravely eat the veggies i had mixed into her pasta.
she ate an onion and then smiling yelled, "I did it!!  Aren't you so proud of me?"
i loved that moment.
and, i loved the moment later when i covered her last piece of zucchini in a spoonful of ice cream so that she could say she ate every last bite of her dinner. 
my oldest girl, with my youngest girl- i love them.
oh, life.
i wonder what it will be like when i wake up rested, not to the excited exclamation "Mom, I'm AWAKE!" or to the hungry cry of an infant?
i'm sure that my house will be clean, i won't find boogers on my walls or tiny elastic bands everywhere.
and, i'll be relaxed.
i'm sure that i will miss blueberry picking with my brady bunch.
i will miss the sweet explanations, "I can't poop mommy.  My bum don't want to."
or, "what is your name?"  and the response from sweet lily, "my name is Willy."
leah's cute, excited story... "Mom!!  Guess what?  The lady let me pet her big dog, way in the back where they were making blueberries!!"
i will miss the comments, "how many kids do you have?  Seven?!!  You don't look old enough to have seven kids.  They are beautiful!"
yes, i am old enough. 
and, they ARE beautiful.
my life is beautiful.
and today, i'm SEIZING.
my babies.
carpe diem.

ps.  i was cuddling in bed with my 3 youngest (and a bag of half-eaten salami they had confiscated from the fridge) at 6:02 AM this morning.  leah asked, "Mom, how much do you love us?"
i replied, "Up to the sky and back."
she laughed, "Mom... you mean up to Poodle don't you?"
(i think she meant pluto?)
How i love that child... up to Poodle and back!!

2 comments:

beckyjune said...

Jen, I LOVE this post. Matt would love Todd's compliment to you and you DO seem a lot more relaxed now that Todd is done and you are getting settled, not wondering if your house will sell or when the baby will come. I had to laugh at your comment about boogers on the wall and must tell you that Sarah had so many boogers smeared on the wall by her bed and I couldn't chisel them off so I just painted over them when I moved Aimee into the room with her. They just added more texture to the wall :D I hope that you have a wonderful day. I love reading your blog to see what you guys are up to. I need to find some fields for my kids to go pick something...maybe the apple orchard in Idalou (I almost typed Idaho, wishful thinking, huh?) where we can get lots of worm-infested apples. I love seeing pics of the kids and GREEN.

Lindsey said...

I could just read and read your blog all day long. Good for you. You do seem so seizing lately, through your blog. :)

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