December 15, 2011

get funky!

did you miss me?
oh, how i enjoyed my sabatical.  :)

i've had such an interesting week.
for a long time i've been really happy.
busy but happy.
this month started out and i just got into a funk.
same life, just felt heavier.
things that should be joyful felt like burdens.
kids that made me laugh days before caused me to cry at night thinking i had failed...
not a big, horrific bout of depression... but enough of a difference that i was not sure how to zap myself back.

here are some things that i learned.
#1--  Attitude is EVERYTHING.
I watched my friend put her kids to bed... she acted like it was no big deal, just bedtime.
She helped them into their jammies, prayed, brushed teeth, tucked them in, tucked them in again when they got out, and life was good, calm, happy.
Something happens at my house before bedtime.
I get into survival mode.  I hunker down.  Todd and I cast lots-- You do bed, I'll finish up the kitchen.  No, I'll do the kitchen, you do the kids.
You can feel us preparing for war before we even do the FIRST call for evening prayer.
I'm trying not to shift my attitude for bedtime.
I'm trying to make it more an extension of our day.
I expect that my kids will behave, instead of prepare for war.
And, it works.
Bedtime isn't that bad-- if I don't have a tantrum.
I'm trying to be MERRY and BRIGHT.
it feels so good.

#2--  Actions are EVERYTHING.
I was feeling down about Christmas.
I was reminded by the Spirit that the true joy of Christmas is GIVING and SERVING.
I increased my Christmas Giving and decreased my Christmas worry.
I feel JOY.
At the grocery store the other day i saw a woman put back celery because she didn't have enough money.
I had a generous thought.
I talked myself out of it and continued on my way.
In a split second decision, I left my cart in the doorway and ran back to ACT.
Joy filled my soul.
We are blessed when we serve.

#3-- Perspective is EVERYTHING.
I have a child that is a bit sneaky and a bit dishonest.
This is new for me.
My two girls are getting a bit older and seem pretty Sassy.
It scares me.
A friend reminded me about Jakob, a couple years ago.
He was a BEAST every, single Sunday.
He never wanted to go to Church.
He even kicked a hole in our wall once.
I had COMPLETELY forgotten that.
Really, to me, he is just a pretty darn amazing kid that I never worry about.

And, i have HOPE that my two girls are also pretty darn amazing kids.
I do need to teach them (not to sneak their 5 inch high-healed DRESS UP black boots to church, hide my dangling earrings in their backpacks, wear eyeshadow or eat 5 lunch treats while hiding in the bathroom).
Teach them, YES.  Worry that they are going to get pregnant by age 13.  Not yet.
My kids see themselves through my eyes.
My perspective is so important.
I am continually teaching principles.
I am raising imperfect, completely normal, AMAZING kids.
Perspective is EVERYTHING.

#4--  Remembering is EVERYTHING.
I was reminded again, that it is not my job to keep my house in order, raise my children, serve at Church, care for my extended family members, encourage my husband, etc., etc. 
It's not my job.
It's God's.
My job is to LISTEN to what He wants me to do and DO it.
I LOVE this quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell... he is telling reasons why we become weary...
"First, we forget that while we work with others, we are working for Him!  Working for "them" can be very wearying.  Our naive insistence on seeing rapid results is intensified when we work for "them"; our expectations become unrealistic and, therefore, are not fulfilled.  This weariness is of our own making, real as it is.  But when we truly work for Him rather than for others, we will be less cluttered, less frantic-- and more effective.  We will also actually be more helpful to "them".  

don't you love that? i love it.
The Lord is my shephard.
He is my King, my deliverer, my ALL.

one more great quote from Elder Maxwell...
"True exhilieration, the incomparable antidote to weariness, comes from knowing and from conforming to our true identity and our true purposes on this planet.  Purposelessness, however, brings a terrible weariness."

We have SUCH purpose as mothers in Zion.
We have SUCH purpose this month!
How can we bring the Celebration of Christ to those we love?!!
How can we teach?  How can we serve?  How can we feel that joy?
I know it is possible.
Even amidst life's funk.
Merry Christmas!


beckyjune said...

Jen, how in the world do you always know what I need to hear? I have had quite a week, frustrated with the kids, feeling a burden lately that I just can't seem to shake. We had an incident with one of the kids today and I was frustrated that she would act that way at school, frustrated that she would act that way at home, frustrated that I am trying and my kids are getting, well, sassy. I read your line about kids seeing themselves in my eyes and I had the thought while washing dishes that perhaps this daughter of mine reacts in a certain way when she is is having some kind of conflict because that is the kind of behavior that I have been patterning for the kids lately. I don't want them to shout at each other but I have been shouting more than I want to be, more than I should be. They are all good kids and I love them so much but lately I haven't been looking at the positive as much as I need to be. It is so nice to have your blog to read when I need a little bit of a boost like I do today. I know that the celery made that woman's day. It's such a simple thing but I am sure that it changed things for the better for both of you that day.

Marie said...

Yay! I just LOVE reading your thoughts... A wise woman you are, Jenifer Moss!

Does this mean we'll still hear from you during these crazy pre-holiday days? :)

CTR Mama said...

Good for you! Love the readjustment of perspective. I need to do more of that. And I really love the quotes from Elder Maxwell. Where did those come from?

jenifer said...

Thanks for your comments-- i love to read them.
The quotes come from Elder Maxwell's book "We Will Prove Them Herewith" The chaper called "unwearied diligence." It is SOO GOOD! I also loved the chapter "be of good cheer" from Elder Maxwell's book "Even As I Am." We have Elder Maxwell's complete works set and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE picking out chapters to read at the end of the day. He is a WISE disciple of Christ. i love that man.

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