did you miss me?
oh, how i enjoyed my sabatical. :)
i've had such an interesting week.
for a long time i've been really happy.
busy but happy.
this month started out and i just got into a funk.
same life, just felt heavier.
things that should be joyful felt like burdens.
kids that made me laugh days before caused me to cry at night thinking i had failed...
not a big, horrific bout of depression... but enough of a difference that i was not sure how to zap myself back.
here are some things that i learned.
#1-- Attitude is EVERYTHING.
I watched my friend put her kids to bed... she acted like it was no big deal, just bedtime.
She helped them into their jammies, prayed, brushed teeth, tucked them in, tucked them in again when they got out, and life was good, calm, happy.
Something happens at my house before bedtime.
I get into survival mode. I hunker down. Todd and I cast lots-- You do bed, I'll finish up the kitchen. No, I'll do the kitchen, you do the kids.
You can feel us preparing for war before we even do the FIRST call for evening prayer.
I'm trying not to shift my attitude for bedtime.
I'm trying to make it more an extension of our day.
I expect that my kids will behave, instead of prepare for war.
And, it works.
Bedtime isn't that bad-- if I don't have a tantrum.
I'm trying to be MERRY and BRIGHT.
it feels so good.
#2-- Actions are EVERYTHING.
I was feeling down about Christmas.
I was reminded by the Spirit that the true joy of Christmas is GIVING and SERVING.
I increased my Christmas Giving and decreased my Christmas worry.
I feel JOY.
At the grocery store the other day i saw a woman put back celery because she didn't have enough money.
I had a generous thought.
I talked myself out of it and continued on my way.
In a split second decision, I left my cart in the doorway and ran back to ACT.
Joy filled my soul.
We are blessed when we serve.
#3-- Perspective is EVERYTHING.
I have a child that is a bit sneaky and a bit dishonest.
This is new for me.
My two girls are getting a bit older and seem pretty Sassy.
It scares me.
A friend reminded me about Jakob, a couple years ago.
He was a BEAST every, single Sunday.
He never wanted to go to Church.
He even kicked a hole in our wall once.
I had COMPLETELY forgotten that.
Really, to me, he is just a pretty darn amazing kid that I never worry about.
And, i have HOPE that my two girls are also pretty darn amazing kids.
I do need to teach them (not to sneak their 5 inch high-healed DRESS UP black boots to church, hide my dangling earrings in their backpacks, wear eyeshadow or eat 5 lunch treats while hiding in the bathroom).
Teach them, YES. Worry that they are going to get pregnant by age 13. Not yet.
My kids see themselves through my eyes.
My perspective is so important.
I am continually teaching principles.
I am raising imperfect, completely normal, AMAZING kids.
Perspective is EVERYTHING.
#4-- Remembering is EVERYTHING.
I was reminded again, that it is not my job to keep my house in order, raise my children, serve at Church, care for my extended family members, encourage my husband, etc., etc.
It's not my job.
My job is to LISTEN to what He wants me to do and DO it.
I LOVE this quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell... he is telling reasons why we become weary...
"First, we forget that while we work with others, we are working for Him! Working for "them" can be very wearying. Our naive insistence on seeing rapid results is intensified when we work for "them"; our expectations become unrealistic and, therefore, are not fulfilled. This weariness is of our own making, real as it is. But when we truly work for Him rather than for others, we will be less cluttered, less frantic-- and more effective. We will also actually be more helpful to "them".
don't you love that? i love it.
The Lord is my shephard.
He is my King, my deliverer, my ALL.
one more great quote from Elder Maxwell...
"True exhilieration, the incomparable antidote to weariness, comes from knowing and from conforming to our true identity and our true purposes on this planet. Purposelessness, however, brings a terrible weariness."
We have SUCH purpose as mothers in Zion.
We have SUCH purpose this month!
How can we bring the Celebration of Christ to those we love?!!
How can we teach? How can we serve? How can we feel that joy?
I know it is possible.
Even amidst life's funk.