April 24, 2012

parenting 101- how to hug a teenage porcupine.

a friend sent me these cd's for my birthday--
How to Hug a Teenage Porcupine, by John Lewis Lund (they cost $20 for 4 cds)
How to Hug a Teenage Porcupine

i would not have bought them for myself, because i don't have a teenage porcupine.
{plus, i'm prideful enough to think i know how to deal with teenagers pretty well.}
i am SO glad that my friend bought them for me!  she knows me so well...
love them.
love them.
love them.

honestly, i want to buy 100 copies of these CDS to send to every mother i know for mother's day.
really-- i love them.
they are written for parents of rebellious teens.
i think they are perfect for parents of TODDLERS-- if we can figure out the principles while the kids are young we might not need the drastic measures later!

this man outlines EXACTLY what i believe about parenting.
his examples rang true to me.
his testimony about God's role in our children's lives rang true to me.
his understanding that some children must learn from experience rang true to me.

he focuses on THE PARENT more than the child.

i listened to them in the car-- with my children.
they LOVED them too!  and, it was so fun having them hear what makes a good parent!!

here are some of his ideas that i love...
(just from my memory so they won't be exactly right.)

:: You cannot run God's plan in the devil's way.

:: an emotionally healthy teenager (and parent) 1)can forgive  2)does not blame others for their own happiness  3)has the ability to make a plan to improve

:: take your love to your child and your frustration to God.

:: you either married your biggest trial in life, or you gave birth to it.  :)

:: he gave an example about family prayer and how we should not force our children to attend!!  he said that he tells the kids "family prayer in 5 minutes"... when only 5 of his 8 kids come, they say prayers and then he whispers to the kids to hop in the car.  he takes them to the store for ice cream cones!  when they come back the other kids whine that they didn't get ice cream and he just smiles and says "you never know when the ice cream man is going to strike!"  i LOVE this example.  it is how i operate!!

:: when you feel the urge to criticize your child-- serve them instead!!!  (oh, i love this idea!)

::  he says if you're speaking french to your child and they don't understand, you can yell it to them and they won't get it any better.

:: he says parents too often try to play every position on the court (like a volleyball player that runs around crazy trying to hit every ball- inevitably the ball falls right into the spot that they should have been standing in).  he says, play your part and trust that God will put other players or experiences into the path of your child to help teach them the things that they need to learn.

These CDs are VERY MORMON.
they teach the doctrine of pre-existence and spirit world.  They profess our belief that this life is a time to
LEARN and grow.
these talks are my favorite talks on parenting!
{even though i hate the silly cover and silly title.}
wish i could send all of you a copy of them for mother's day!



valerie in TX said...

How 'bout "How to Hug a Preteen Porcupine for Non-Mormons"? I'll take one of those, please. :)


jenifer said...

valerie-- you would LOVE these CDs. some of the terminology might sound mormon-- but the ideas are universal. mainly- God has a plan of salvation for YOUR child. have faith in Him and learn to be better yourself. you would LOVE these cds! as tony the tiger would say, ...they are grrrrreat!

jenifer said...

ps. the guy that is speaking spent years as a youth therapist-- he even worked with kids in prison. his techniques aren't Mormon, but since faith is such an essential part of the equation he does mention many core Mormon beliefs. Mainly-- trust God! He loves your child more than you do.

valerie in TX said...

Sounds like something I need. My own personal youth therapist. :)

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